If you're planning to call in sick, don't leave your hit list detailing the mass shooting you're planning at your workplace in plain view on your desk

Yeah I made my own plans in case someone starts shooting at my job. I already know my exit strategy.

The guy who would have won the “most likely to inspire an escape plan” award in my office is no longer there, but for a long time was prepared to throw a chair through my second floor window and jump if needed.
 
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