# The official Florida man thread



## Thomas Veil

I know we have the TFM thread for everything else, but for the lighter side of crazy, let's face it...Florida Man is so prolific, they need their own topic.

For our initial offering, consider this.

*Florida man waving Trump flagpole charged with child abuse, accused of hitting 13-year-old girl with it*

*



*​


> Ledoux said Logsdon was holding a flag in support of President Trump and flicking people off at the intersection of Loch Rane and Blanding Boulevard. So, she and her daughter flicked him off and shouted something to support their own political views, Ledoux said.
> 
> That’s when he came over to them with the flagpole, Ledoux said.



Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about there!

------

Or, if you prefer your Florida man stuff non-political...

*Florida man needs ride home, dials 911 to report body at McDonald's*


> A man in central Florida needed a ride home.  Instead, he received a ride to jail.
> 
> Winter Haven Police said Jermaine Williams, 46, called 911 early Friday morning to report a dead body at the McDonald's on 5th Street NW.
> 
> Officers responded to the fast-food restaurant where they found no body, just Williams sitting on the curb.  He told police he called a number of times earlier in the night to ask for a ride.
> 
> Police charged Williams with misuse of 911.  He's being held at the Polk County Jail.



 If you know anything about the food at McDonald's, you'll understand why the 911 operator thought the guy's story had some veracity.


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## JayMysteri0

Florida Woman shouldn't be left out.

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1401365183964999681/

I'm going to guess that since the police were fairly certain she wasn't armed, they managed not to shoot her.


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## tranceking26

This one always pops up on imgur, as far as I know it is true lol


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## DT

Thomas Veil said:


> I know we have the TFM thread for everything else, but for the lighter side of crazy, let's face it...Florida Man is so prolific, they need their own topic.
> 
> For our initial offering, consider this.
> 
> *Florida man waving Trump flagpole charged with child abuse, accused of hitting 13-year-old girl with it*




JFC, there wouldn't been __two__ charges in that incident with me, the charge against that fuckwit, and a charge against me for putting him in the hospital ...


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## fooferdoggie

Florida Man steals leg








						Marvel-themed prosthetic leg stolen from critically injured St. Pete crash victim found, returned to family
					

A customized prosthetic leg worth $15,000 was stolen from a man who was hit by a car and critically injured in St. Petersburg Monday night, police say.




					www.wfla.com


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## fooferdoggie

Floirida man dive bombs a crowd. he was trying to get more students in his flight school no less.








						Report details tense moments during Gulf Coast Jam flyover
					

PANAMA CITY BEACH, Fla. (WMBB) — A report about the ‘reckless’ flyover at Gulf Coast Jam on Saturday night revealed the dangerous situation faced by law enforcement officers and the lea…




					www.mypanhandle.com


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## fooferdoggie

Florida alligator tries to mail a package.








						Customer Finds 7-Foot Alligator Inside Florida Post Office
					

They say neither rain nor snow nor gloom of night will stop the U.S. Postal Service, but an alligator could get in the way.




					www.huffpost.com


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## tranceking26




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## tranceking26




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## fooferdoggie

texas man became Florida man
Florida Tourist Charged with Hate Crime, Told Asian Family to ‘Go Back Where They Came from’ After Kids Pet His Dogs: Sheriff​








						Florida Tourist Charged with Hate Crime, Told Asian Family to 'Go Back Where They Came from' After Kids Pet His Dogs: Sheriff
					

A Texas man on vacation in the Florida panhandle this week is facing a hate crime charge after he allegedly physically assaulted a family of Asian descent and used racist language.




					lawandcrime.com


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## Renzatic




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## Alli

Renzatic said:


> View attachment 6060



You sure that’s not Mississippi or Alabama?


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## tranceking26




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## fooferdoggie

Florida great grandma lets her 10 year old Florida boy drive 








						Largo great-grandmother arrested after 10-year-old crashes her car
					

A great-grandmother with a prior DUI is facing a felony charge after her 10-year-old great-grandson crashed her Ford Escape into another SUV carrying children, which was pushed into a third vehicle.




					www.abcactionnews.com
				



Largo great-grandmother arrested after 10-year-old crashes her car​The 75-year-old woman had a prior DUI


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## tranceking26




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## fooferdoggie

Florida couple rams patrol vehicles before breaking into mayor’s home, police say​








						Florida couple rams patrol vehicles before breaking into mayor’s home, police say
					

Haines City police say a couple drove straight at an officer, rammed two patrol vehicles and broke into a Florida mayor’s home while trying to evade authorities.




					www.clickorlando.com


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## fooferdoggie

Now we have Florida town
Florida town accidentally sells municipal water tower​








						Florida town accidentally sells municipal water tower
					

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. (AP) — A small town in Florida accidentally sold its water tower in a blundered real estate transaction. A businessman purchased a municipal building underneath the city of Brooksville's water tower last April for $55,000 with the goal of converting it into a gym.




					apnews.com


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## Chew Toy McCoy

In the spirit of this thread I highly recommend the Dumb People Town podcast.  Florida Man lives in every state and they cover 3 such heroes on every episode.


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## tranceking26




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## fooferdoggie

Florida doctor drops the wrong ball.
A Tampa doctor did surgery on the wrong testicle, state board finds​





						outline.com is available for purchase - Sedo.com
					






					outline.com


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## SuperMatt

Florida Governor:









						Florida students to be surveyed for 'intellectual diversity'
					

UPDATE: A previous version of this story made the claim that Florida's college students would be required to register their political views with the state. This is incorrect, as Politifact notes: The law requires an annual assessment of “intellectual freedom and viewpoint diversity” at public...




					www.rawstory.com
				




DeSantis wants to be the thought police:



> Gov. Ron DeSantis signed legislation requiring students, faculty and staff at Florida's public universities and colleges to register their political views with the state as a way to encourage "intellectual diversity."
> 
> The state will require taxpayer-funded colleges and universities to issue surveys to determine "the extent to which competing ideas and perspectives are presented" on campus and whether students, faculty and staff "feel free to express [their] beliefs and viewpoints," although it's not clear what will be done with the poll results, reported the _Tampa Bay Times_.






> DeSantis and the bill's sponsor, state Sen. Ray Rodrigues (R-Estero), suggested funding could be cut as punishment for colleges and universities found to be "indoctrinating" students under the measure, which goes into effect July 1.




So, if your university doesn’t teach points of view that the Trump-ists believe in, you can lose your state funding. Were I still a kid, I’d look at such a survey and get all the other students together and put a bunch of wacky beliefs on the surveys to troll the government.


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## Alli

SuperMatt said:


> DeSantis wants to be the thought police:



I wonder how he’s going to convince college students to complete his survey.


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## fooferdoggie

well I hope they get the surveys they deserve.I can imagine the amount of shit people are going to put on these. its going to be epic. I wonder how many FSM and devli worshiping will be reported. why is it the republicans way to spy on everyone. this has got to be challenged big and hard.


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## Alli

All I know is I am (still) attending a Florida university. Can’t wait for my survey.


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## SuperMatt

Alli said:


> All I know is I am (still) attending a Florida university. Can’t wait for my survey.



I’d love to see your responses


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## fooferdoggie

Florida Man makes some skid marks 
bet he gets away with it since it is not a republican thing he tried to ruin








						A Trump supporter could be the first Floridian prosecuted under Ron DeSantis' new anti-protest law
					

Florida Republicans may soon see their latest stunt backfire in their faces




					www.salon.com


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## lizkat

Another fail by DeSantis.   FEMA was ready to roll pronto re Surfside condo collapse.  DeSantis waited a day to accept...

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1408855547852513289/


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## Alli

lizkat said:


> Another fail by DeSantis. FEMA was ready to roll pronto re Surfside condo collapse. DeSantis waited a day to accept...



There’s another reason they call him DeathSantis.


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## Pumbaa

lizkat said:


> Another fail by DeSantis.   FEMA was ready to roll pronto re Surfside condo collapse.  DeSantis waited a day to accept...
> 
> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1408855547852513289/



My google-fu tells me “Surfside, FL is Leaning liberal“. Shocking.


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## Thomas Veil

SuperMatt said:


> Florida Governor:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Florida students to be surveyed for 'intellectual diversity'
> 
> 
> UPDATE: A previous version of this story made the claim that Florida's college students would be required to register their political views with the state. This is incorrect, as Politifact notes: The law requires an annual assessment of “intellectual freedom and viewpoint diversity” at public...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.rawstory.com
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> DeSantis wants to be the thought police:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> So, if your university doesn’t teach points of view that the Trump-ists believe in, you can lose your state funding. Were I still a kid, I’d look at such a survey and get all the other students together and put a bunch of wacky beliefs on the surveys to troll the government.




From your linked story:


> "We have decided that one ideological standard will win the day, but the thing is we're losing because we're not having real conversations."




Or…you’re losing because your views suck.


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## SuperMatt

Thomas Veil said:


> From your linked story:
> 
> 
> Or…you’re losing because your views suck.



Wow. He’s convinced his point of view is the only correct one and the only reason people don’t agree with him is that the conversation isn’t happening. That’s delusional. This guy is Trump 1.1.


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## User.45

SuperMatt said:


> Wow. He’s convinced his point of view is the only correct one and the only reason people don’t agree with him is that the conversation isn’t happening. That’s delusional. This guy is Trump 1.1.



I doubt he believes in any of this bullshit. He's a cynic with an agenda revolving around 2024. 


Thomas Veil said:


> From your linked story:
> 
> 
> Or…you’re losing because your views suck.




This reminds me of this article:









						Some Republicans find failure to grapple with climate change a ‘political liability’
					

For four years under President Donald Trump, even uttering the phrase “climate change” was verboten for many Republicans. His administration scrubbed the words from federal websites, tried to censor testimony to Congress and mocked the science linking rising fossil fuel emissions to a warming...




					www.baltimoresun.com
				




They deny the existence of everything that is like not happening immediately on eye level scale in front of them...Except for God. And then push it until it becomes a threat to their viability (like COVID).


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## Thomas Veil

SuperMatt said:


> Wow. He’s convinced his point of view is the only correct one and the only reason people don’t agree with him is that the conversation isn’t happening. That’s delusional. This guy is Trump 1.1.



I’d quibble with your term. Trump himself isn’t even out of .9 alpha testing yet. Nobody can work the bugs out.


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## User.45

Thomas Veil said:


> I’d quibble with your term. Trump himself isn’t even out of .9 alpha testing yet. Nobody can work the bugs out.



...and all because he likes to be alpha.


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## MEJHarrison

Thanks for this thread.  My sister informed me yesterday (during our 115 degree heat wave) that she wants to move to Florida.  I started to point out that Florida is where all the dumb people live.  Then caught myself.  I learned during the pandemic and election that my sister would actually feel right at home in Florida.  So that joke might have hit a little too close to home.  She's a fan of the previous president, believes in election fraud, fought to keep her school open last year, never thought Covid was as big a deal as they're making it out to be, is against masks, etc.

Then I woke up this morning and sent the "Florida Man breaks into jail to visit his friends".  I couldn't help myself.


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## DT

MEJHarrison said:


> I started to point out that Florida is where all the dumb people live.




*Looks in mirror*

Yeah, you pretty much got that right  ...


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## MEJHarrison

DT said:


> *Looks in mirror*
> 
> Yeah, you pretty much got that right  ...




It's Florida, I'm not touching that one.

But I WILL say I've learned this past year that no state has the monopoly on dumb.  For example: my sister.

Not only did she fight mask and closing the schools, her husband infected my mother with Covid the day before Mother's Day.  We visited the next day.  And they got around to telling us... maybe 10 days later?  But it was no big deal.  Like having a cold!  Yeah, my uncle, died of Covid 3 days before Christmas, but _this_ Covid is no big deal!  Thankfully we're all vaccinated in this household (as is my sister since she works for the school) and it did the job and everyone is still fine.  But the stupidity!!!   

So yeah, there's dummies everywhere.


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## fooferdoggie

MEJHarrison said:


> It's Florida, I'm not touching that one.
> 
> But I WILL say I've learned this past year that no state has the monopoly on dumb.  For example: my sister.
> 
> Not only did she fight mask and closing the schools, her husband infected my mother with Covid the day before Mother's Day.  We visited the next day.  And they got around to telling us... maybe 10 days later?  But it was no big deal.  Like having a cold!  Yeah, my uncle, died of Covid 3 days before Christmas, but _this_ Covid is no big deal! Thankfully we're all vaccinated in this household (as is my sister since she works for the school) and it did the job and everyone is still fine. But the stupidity!!!
> 
> So yeah, there's dummies everywhere.



ya my sister and brother wont vaccinate and a few people at work. we all work in the basement of this old building we have separate shops. one of the guys who isa vaccinated thought he had covid and came in to work. so the unvaccinated guy I told him the guy had a special surprise for him and go see him to get it.


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## fooferdoggie

florida man florida ex wife all kinds of crazy

The Ocala Fire Chief, who filed a restraining order against his ex-wife before she went on a naked rampage at a local Outback earlier this month, has been fired from his position.

Shane Alexander was relieved of his duties by the city of Ocala on Friday. An official with the city of Ocala confirmed the firing to Ocala-News.com on Sunday and provided a letter explaining the city’s decision on Monday.

According to a termination of employment letter issued by Assistant City Manager Ken Whitehead, Alexander was fired for his alleged “unprofessional conduct on several occasions” and a general erosion of “trust in the organization by creating a counter-productive and uncomfortable work environment for City staff.”








						Ocala Fire Chief whose ex-wife went on naked rampage at Outback, fired for creating uncomfortable work environment
					

The Ocala Fire Chief, who filed a restraining order against his ex-wife before she went on a naked rampage at a local Outback earlier this month, was fired from his position for erosion of "trust in the organization" and creating an "uncomfortable work environment for City staff.”




					www.ocala-news.com


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## fooferdoggie

Florida man goes off like a firework. to protest fireworks he becomes a firework classic florida man.
CAPE CORAL, Fla. (WBBH) - A man apparently protesting pyrotechnics was caught screaming and pretending to be a firework on a Florida security system in the early morning hours.












						‘Firecracker!’: Man wakes neighbors by pretending to be firework
					

Fireworks are legal in Florida on just three days of the year, one of them being July 4.




					www.wymt.com


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## Edd

MEJHarrison said:


> It's Florida, I'm not touching that one.
> 
> But I WILL say I've learned this past year that no state has the monopoly on dumb.  For example: my sister.
> 
> Not only did she fight mask and closing the schools, her husband infected my mother with Covid the day before Mother's Day.  We visited the next day.  And they got around to telling us... maybe 10 days later?  But it was no big deal.  Like having a cold!  Yeah, my uncle, died of Covid 3 days before Christmas, but _this_ Covid is no big deal! Thankfully we're all vaccinated in this household (as is my sister since she works for the school) and it did the job and everyone is still fine. But the stupidity!!!
> 
> So yeah, there's dummies everywhere.



Family is often overrated, contrary to the wisdoms of The Fast & The Furious franchise.


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## fooferdoggie

Florida man finds winning $1 million lottery ticket while cleaning his house​








						Florida man finds winning $1 million lottery ticket while cleaning his house
					

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (WEAR) — A Florida man discovered he won $1 million on a Powerball ticket that he found while cleaning his house on the 4th of July. The Florida Lottery announced Wednesday that Kenneth Morgan, 54, of Jacksonville, claimed the $1 million prize from the Powerball drawing held on...




					www.local21news.com


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## fooferdoggie

perfect state for it.
Investigate all things Skunk Ape at the Great Florida Bigfoot Conference this summer in Lakeland​








						Investigate all things Skunk Ape at the Great Florida Bigfoot Conference this summer in Lakeland
					

Cryptozoologists, investigators and mythbusters alike are heading south for the summer to the Great Florida Bigfoot Conference, going down in Lakeland in July. (Surely a...




					www.orlandoweekly.com


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## JayMysteri0




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## fooferdoggie

Florida Man Charged in Foiled Murder-for-Hire Plot Planned to Blame Black Lives Matter​








						Florida Man Charged in Foiled Murder-for-Hire Plot Planned to Blame Black Lives Matter
					

A Florida man accused of hiring a hitman to kill his ex-girlfriend and her family planned to pin the murders on the Black Lives Matter movement, federal authorities said.




					www.nbcwashington.com
				




A Florida man accused of hiring a hitman to kill his ex-girlfriend and her family planned to pin the murders on the Black Lives Matter movement, federal authorities said.

Daniel Slater, 51, of Jupiter, was arrested last year on charges of murder for hire, possession with intent to distribute a controlled substance and conspiracy to possess. He's accused of soliciting an associate to help him kill his ex-girlfriend, her sister and the sister's husband in the foiled plan.

A criminal complaint states that Slater thought his girlfriend's family had ruined his relationship. He offered to give the associate money and drugs for carrying out the crime, according to the document. Slater was arrested after his associate began working for the FBI.


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## fooferdoggie

Florida man accused of stealing gator from golf course, threw it around to teach ‘it a lesson’​








						Florida man accused of stealing gator from golf course, threw it around to teach ‘it a lesson’
					

A Florida man who stole an alligator from a minature-golf course, swung it around by its tail and threw it into the air claimed he was teaching the reptile “a lesson,” according to the Daytona Beach Shores Department of Public Safety.




					www.clickorlando.com


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## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> Florida man accused of stealing gator from golf course, threw it around to teach ‘it a lesson’​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Florida man accused of stealing gator from golf course, threw it around to teach ‘it a lesson’
> 
> 
> A Florida man who stole an alligator from a minature-golf course, swung it around by its tail and threw it into the air claimed he was teaching the reptile “a lesson,” according to the Daytona Beach Shores Department of Public Safety.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.clickorlando.com



Did the Gator learn its lesson? The article doesn’t say… I guess that will be one of Florida’s great unsolved mysteries.


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## User.168

.


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## JayMysteri0

theSeb said:


> When will the US face up to the mental health pandemic that has been sweeping the country for some time?



When guns are involved SUDDENLY some say they care.


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## fooferdoggie

JayMysteri0 said:


> When guns are involved SUDDENLY some say they care.



I don't want to see a armed alligator.


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## Pumbaa

fooferdoggie said:


> I don't want to see a armed alligator.



Armed to the teeth!


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## User.168

,=.


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## JayMysteri0

fooferdoggie said:


> I don't want to see a armed alligator.



An alligator would probably be more responsible with a gun, otherwise we'd have had the NRA advocating for them since they do have opposable thumbs.


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## JayMysteri0

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1416177910810124292/


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## JayMysteri0

Yes, TF Florida guy
https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1416236967881232384/


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## fooferdoggie

Florida man attacked by alligator while biking along nature trail​florida-man-attacked-by-alligator-while-biking-along-nature-trail


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## JayMysteri0

> CDC Scores A Win Against Gov. Ron DeSantis In Florida Cruise Saga
> 
> 
> A federal appeals court says the health agency's rules for cruise ships will stay in place--for now.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.forbes.com





> Oh, the drama. The ongoing soap opera that has engulfed Florida’s cruise industry had another plot twist late last night. A month ago, Governor Ron DeSantis crowed when a U.S. district judge in Tampa agreed that the U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC) had overstepped its legal authority in creating its Covid-19 guidance for cruise ships.
> 
> But last night at 11:50 p.m., just 10 minutes before that ruling was about to take place, a federal appeals court issued a temporary stay while the CDC appeals the earlier decision.
> 
> That keeps the CDC’s Covid-19-related regulations regarding cruise ships in place—at least for now—in the state that is home to the three largest cruise ports in the United States.
> 
> “We are disappointed that the Obama and Clinton-appointed appellate judges found it appropriate to stay the trial court’s injunction and thus continue the CDC’s unlawful stronghold on an entire industry—costing Florida and its tourism industry hundreds of millions of dollars,” said Christina Pushaw, the governor’s press secretary, in an email. Steven Merryday, the U.S. District Judge who ruled in favor of DeSantis, was appointed by George H.W. Bush.
> 
> “While we remain confident in eventual success on the actual merits of this litigation, we are considering options for immediate appeal to reinstate the trial court’s injunction that enjoined the CDC’s No Sail Orders as unconstitutional and lacking congressional authority,” said Pushaw.
> 
> The long-running beef between Florida and the CDC is over DeSantis’s much-hyped but unpopular law banning so-called vaccine passports, which has left cruise lines in the unenviable position of being prohibited from verifying the vaccination status of passengers sailing from Florida.
> 
> 
> That law makes it impossible for cruise lines to follow CDC guidance. The agency says that cruise lines offering sailings on ships with paying passengers need to make sure 95% of passengers are fully vaccinated before setting sail.


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## SuperMatt

JayMysteri0 said:


>



With all the “Florida Man” stories, it’s hard to be the dumbest man in Florida. But DeSantis sure is trying his hardest. Sign a law that prevents one of your biggest industries from opening up again. Why? Because you want to stick it to Fauci?

Fortunately for him, based on the apparent intelligence of Floridians on display in this thread daily, he will probably win re-election.


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## lizkat

SuperMatt said:


> With all the “Florida Man” stories, it’s hard to be the dumbest man in Florida. But DeSantis sure is trying his hardest. Sign a law that prevents one of your biggest industries from opening up again. Why? Because you want to stick it to Fauci?
> 
> Fortunately for him, based on the apparent intelligence of Floridians on display in this thread daily, he will probably win re-election.




I just hope he doesn't catch on as a potential candidate for prez in 2024.   Time was I would have thought that impossible, but not any more.


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## SuperMatt

lizkat said:


> I just hope he doesn't catch on as a potential candidate for prez in 2024.   Time was I would have thought that impossible, but not any more.



He already is. I am seeing it in right-wing boards and Twitter pile-ons.


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## Deleted member 199

fooferdoggie said:


> I don't want to see a armed alligator.





JayMysteri0 said:


> An alligator would probably be more responsible with a gun, otherwise we'd have had the NRA advocating for them since they do have opposable thumbs.





Wait. Alligators have thumbs? That means their front feet aren't feet.. they're hands... and hands aren't connected to legs... they're connected to arms....


ARMED ALLIGATORS.


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## Deleted member 199

SuperMatt said:


> it’s hard to be the dumbest man in Florida




At times like this I like to refer back to the genius that is Colin Lane and Frank Woodley:








> If all the village idiots, from all the villages, left their villages, and made their own village, of idiots. In that village, you would be the village idiot.




Also quite coincidental, that show was recorded in Brisbane, Queensland.. For those who don't know QLD is like Australias' Florida + Alabama combined.


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## JayMysteri0

Never a good sign when editorials like this start.

How do you NOT learn from the last guy who tried to avoid dealing with the life & death effects of a pandemic, to instead worry more about elections?



> We’re begging you, Gov. DeSantis, stop messing in Texas and save Florida from COVID | Editorial
> 
> 
> While Gov. Ron DeSantis was enjoying photo ops in Texas over the weekend while visiting the border, Florida was in the thick of a frightening new battle with COVID that's killing Floridians. Our plea with the governor to get his priorities straight and lead on the newest COVID outbreak.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.orlandosentinel.com



_I posted the editorial because the ads are obnoxious on the site_


> Florida was all over the news this past weekend with one of the nation’s biggest spikes in COVID cases and hospitalizations.
> 
> And where was Gov. Ron DeSantis as this health crisis resurged? Visiting hospitals? Consulting with physicians and public health experts?
> 
> Huddling with his staff to brainstorm ways of persuading more Floridians to take the vaccine that would nip this pandemic in the bud?
> 
> Nope. Florida’s governor was in Texas, 1,000 miles from Tallahassee, burnishing his 2024 presidential ambitions with a visit to the southern border.
> 
> The governor was back in Florida on Sunday but, once again, not to focus on the COVID health crisis but this time to make fun of Anthony Fauci in a speech before a crowd of young conservatives in Tampa.
> 
> “Fauci gets invited to throw out the first pitch at the baseball game last year but he doesn’t know how to throw a baseball,” the 42-year-old governor said of the 80-year-old public health official’s bungled attempt.
> 
> “He did the worst first pitch that I’ve ever seen anybody do,” DeSantis crowed.
> 
> Always classy, our governor, who then encouraged the Turning Point USA crowd to go buy campaign merch emblazoned with Fauci mockery.
> 
> Predictably, DeSantis said nothing in his speech about how Florida has become the poster child (except perhaps for Arkansas) for the surging number of COVID cases attributed to the wildly contagious Delta variant.
> 
> Overall new COVID cases are up nearly 200% in Florida over the past two weeks, and Florida is third in the nation in per capita increases, accounting for nearly 20% of the entire nation’s new COVID infections. The rate of positive COVID tests is now well north of 10%. Recent data show Florida with the fourth-highest rate of COVID hospitalizations and the nation’s highest average for daily deaths over the past week.
> 
> Deaths have always been a lagging indicator in this pandemic, so the current wave of cases and hospitalizations could portend another summer of grief for Florida.
> 
> Meanwhile, Florida remains mired in vaccination mediocrity, compared with the rest of the nation. We’re a middle-of -the-pack state with barely 57% of the adult population fully vaccinated, below the national average. The AARP just reported that Florida has the second lowest rate of vaccinated nursing home workers in the nation, and a lower than average population of nursing home residents vaccinated.
> And the governor is making fun of how Anthony Fauci throws a baseball?
> 
> To save lives, he must start acting like Florida’s governor and less like he’s auditioning for Turning Point USA or Texas Gov. Greg Abbott or whatever Fox News host comes calling.
> 
> The governor needs to launch another vaccination tour, like the one he did earlier this year that helped get a big chunk of Florida’s senior population protected.
> 
> DeSantis and his surrogates are constantly reminding us of his success with senior vaccinations. Why not come to the aid of other Floridians now?
> 
> DeSantis said Monday that he questions the tactics of the “quote-unquote ‘experts’ who lambaste people and criticize them or say they’re stupid or something.” DeSantis said. “That’s not the way to reach folks.”
> 
> Terrific. Then speak to people in terms that you think will work. Address their concerns head-on with facts and science. Ask them to ignore the social media agents of bad faith and lies. Stand alongside his surgeon general, doctors, nurses, researchers and other public health officials who will vouch for the vaccine.
> 
> Use vaccinated seniors as a backdrop. Bring clergy members into to the effort. Buy lots of time on TV and cut ads for social media. Maybe designate your wife, Casey, as the face of the campaign, someone who could appeal to young parents.
> 
> We know that hospitalizations of vaccinated people are rare and deaths even rarer. The Orange County Department of Health said that for the past three days 100% of positive COVID cases have been among _un_vaccinated people. One. Hundred. Percent.
> 
> As part of the new COVID offensive, the governor needs to restore daily COVID reporting of infections, deaths and other data. Those reports ended in early June amid declines and a case positivity rate below 5%. Clearly, conditions have changed, and so should the flow of information to Floridians. Now the public is made to wait in anticipation until Friday afternoon to learn what the virus has done in Florida.
> At the moment, it’s as if DeSantis has washed his hands of the matter and moved on to elections, borders, critical race theory, mocking Fauci or whatever else will get him a headline.
> 
> And every few days, nearly as many people are dying from COVID as died in the recent collapse of a condominium in South Florida.
> “Leadership is about handling problems.”
> 
> That’s what DeSantis told the conservative TPUSA crowd on Sunday.
> We agree. Completely.
> 
> Please, governor, we’re begging you, handle the COVID problem. Be a leader.


----------



## Yoused

"_You, there, *Get Off My Lawn* – go die somewhere else!_"


----------



## B S Magnet

Yoused said:


> "_You, there, *Get Off My Lawn* – go die somewhere else!_"




Props to any of you who choose to live in that state.

Fun fact: my future corpse, if anyone tries driving it to Florida, will reanimate itself about two kilometres from the state line and let itself out of the moving vehicle.


----------



## lizkat

B S Magnet said:


> Props to any of you who choose to live in that state.
> 
> Fun fact: my future corpse, if anyone tries driving it to Florida, will reanimate itself about two kilometres from the state line and let itself out of the moving vehicle.




Yeah I'm a lot more jaded than I used to be, and maybe especially with respect to how things go in Florida sometimes,  but the account of that incident really shocked me.   Trying to remember that outliers' behavior is what makes the news and social media as well.      The question here though might end up being who's the outlier,  the good Samaritan or the homeowner wanting a medical emergency to get the heck off his lawn?!


----------



## B S Magnet

lizkat said:


> The question here though might end up being who's the outlier,  the good Samaritan or the homeowner wanting a medical emergency to get the heck off his lawn?!




It’s Florida. The outlier-behaviour is the gesture of good Samaritanism.

[EDIT, adding: The heavily self-centred, libertarian, “personal responsibility”, dog-and-pony show vibe throughout the state has become much harder to ignore this century, but there are also all the alligators, the humidity, the karst geography sinkholes, the swamp culture, more roaches per square inch than even Houston or New Orleans, the birthplace of _COPS_, and probably more organized crime sited there — or have operations there — than New York City, Boston, and Chicago _combined_.]


----------



## B S Magnet

Florida man, uh, washes ashore, after trying to “walk” on water to New York City… wait what









						Florida man washes ashore after trying to ‘walk’ to New York in bubble device
					

Reza Baluchi told the coast guard he was headed 1,000 miles north in a running wheel contraption but ended up 30 miles south




					www.theguardian.com


----------



## Yoused

B S Magnet said:


> Florida man, uh, washes ashore, after trying to “walk” on water to New York City… wait what
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Florida man washes ashore after trying to ‘walk’ to New York in bubble device
> 
> 
> Reza Baluchi told the coast guard he was headed 1,000 miles north in a running wheel contraption but ended up 30 miles south
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.theguardian.com




Florid, yes, but you kind of have to admire his pluck. It reminds me of going to the flank of Mt St Helens (when it was an actual pointy mountain), looking at that slope just right there and thinking, oh, it would be nothing to hike right up that. Pluck is all well and good, but it needs to be tempered with neurons.



("Florid" is my new adjective for "_what the ever-loving fuck were you thinking?_")


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida correction men KKK Members

Inside a KKK murder plot: Grab him up, take him to the river​








						Inside a KKK murder plot: Grab him up, take him to the river
					

Joseph Moore breathed heavily, his face slick with nervous sweat.  Puffy dark clouds blocked the sun as Moore greeted another man, who’d pulled up in a metallic blue sedan.  “KIGY, my brother,” Moore said.




					news.yahoo.com


----------



## JayMysteri0

> Freaky ‘Penis Snakes’ Have Finally Made It to the U.S., and of Course They Chose Florida
> 
> 
> The legless amphibians are probably harmless, most certainly hideous—and possibly here to stay.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> gizmodo.com




When I was asked a few weeks ago if I wanted to go to Florida again...

Desantis, Covid, and now penis snakes?


----------



## lizkat

A prime example of the stereotypical "Florida man" (Ron DeSantis) is way out in Utah making speeches towards a 2024 presidential run,  while his subjects constituents argue over how best to deal with a surge in covid delta variant.  Sounds presidential if you like that former guy's ways.   This and other Florida matters were all duly covered in today's edition of Politico's Florida Playbook newsletter.



> *Divided we fall* *— *You couldn’t have a had more stunning split-screen view of the polarization over Covid-19 in Florida than in the previous 24 hours.
> 
> *Surge* *— *News that Florida’s daily Covid-19 count soared to more than 16,000 new cases on Tuesday and hospital beds are beginning to fill up, has brought new fears that the coronavirus is raging uncontrolled across the state once again.
> 
> *Response — *It was accompanied by a wave of reactions from local leaders. Broward County schools said they are keeping in place a mask mandate for schools despite Gov. Ron DeSantis' opposition. Some county governments announced vaccine mandates for their employees. Even Disney World responded late Wednesday that they would once again require visitors to wear masks.
> 
> *Way out west — *While this was going on back home, DeSantis was more than 2,000 miles away in Utah, where he gave a speech at the American Legislative Exchange Council (not on his public schedule by the way, but hey, transparency) where he mocked the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and proclaimed his continued resistance to mandates and lockdowns.




Gotta love that DeSantis does not put a speech to ALEC in Utah on his *public* schedule. Maybe he didn't want Trump to notice that he's signaling ever more strongly that his hat is in the ring for 2024, even as the GOP struggles just to get through midterms without fracturing. It must be a little awkward trying to kiss The Don's ring even as DeSantis begins trying to supplant Trump in the hearts and minds of Trump's fan base. Even it The Don eggs him on in private, surely DeSantis knows not to strut into spotlights at angles likely to put The Don in the shade...

Or maybe DeSantis simply doesn't want to remind some old-school GOP conservatives who are high dollar donors about Ron's hip-weld to the unruly end of whatever's left of the whole spectrum of fans of Donald Trump.  It's early days yet, and no one can be sure how the GOP's factions will align as the midterms approach, never mind 2024. 

And then there's just DeSantis demonstrating stupid speech, poor judgment, ill timed actions.  As a governor of his state, he should be a cut above the stereotyped limitations of "Florida man" behavior. But he seems not to understand that covid is a wily opponent of a rigid approach to infecting people. As the virus mutates to test immunity, and as infection rates change,  so do responsible policymakers at federal, state and local levels have to be flexible, innovative and so try to stay one step ahead. or at least not fall so far back that a potential overrun of medical care resources ramps up to a credible concern yet again.

So one might ask not only why DeSantis is mocking CDC but why he's wandered 2000 miles away to spout his pre-presidential stuff in front of likeminded rightwingers at ALEC, when the lives of his own state's citizens are again at heightened risk from covid.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida man injured after sticking his arm in jaguar pen at local zoo​








						Florida man injured after sticking his arm in jaguar pen at local zoo
					

A man got clawed by a jaguar at the Jacksonville Zoo in Florida Wednesday, after he jumped over a safety barrier and stuck his arm into an enclosure, local reports said.




					nypost.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

nothing like losing you kid cause your so drunk.

Man charged with DUI, neglect after police say he left child alone at business​








						Man charged with DUI, neglect after police say he left child alone at business
					

Man picks child up from daycare then forgets he left him at another business.




					www.news4jax.com


----------



## JayMysteri0

At some point even this asshole's supporters  have to admit what he does Covid related has absolutely NOTHING to do with the concern of Floridians.

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1423474658838552576/

Addition:


----------



## fooferdoggie

LEE COUNTY, Fla. — A 33-year-old Davie man was arrested on Sunday for allegedly impersonating a law enforcement officer on Sunday, August 1.

Sean Haynes allegedly caused a disturbance at a Publix supermarket on Palm Beach Boulevard and left on a moped, witnesses told deputies with the Lee County Sheriff’s Office.

Haynes was pulled over shortly after the disturbance and claimed to be an agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, deputies said. He even provided deputies with a false badge number with identification during the stop.

Turns out, Haynes was not an FBI agent, but rather a man with a warrant out of Broward County for trespassing.









						Florida man with trespassing warrant claims to be FBI agent during Lee County traffic stop
					

The man even provided deputies with a false badge number with identification during the stop.




					nbc-2.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Pembroke Pines martial arts instructor arrested for allegedly placing hidden cameras in bathroom​








						Pembroke Pines martial arts instructor arrested for allegedly placing hidden cameras in bathroom
					

According to Pembroke Pines Police, 64-year-old Robert Franco was arrested on Friday.




					www.local10.com


----------



## SuperMatt

Florida church gets “woke” to vaccination.









						6 members of a Florida church died of Covid-19 in 2 weeks, pastor says. On Sunday the church held a vaccination clinic | CNN
					

In just two weeks, six members of a Florida church died from Covid-19. All were unvaccinated, their pastor said.




					www.cnn.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

SuperMatt said:


> Florida church gets “woke” to vaccination.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 6 members of a Florida church died of Covid-19 in 2 weeks, pastor says. On Sunday the church held a vaccination clinic | CNN
> 
> 
> In just two weeks, six members of a Florida church died from Covid-19. All were unvaccinated, their pastor said.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.cnn.com



you beat me to it. it only took 6 deaths to do what you were told about a year ago.


----------



## JayMysteri0

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1425983821737046018/


----------



## fooferdoggie

even your cars are not safe.













						Large hole swallows car in Palm Harbor driveway
					

The hole is about 10 feet by 10 feet in size, fire officials said in a news release.




					www.tampabay.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida bus driver. 
Collier Area Transit bus caught on video driving wrong way during rush hour traffic​








						Collier Area Transit bus caught on video driving wrong way during rush hour traffic
					

A Collier Area Transit bus was caught on camera driving the wrong way down a busy road during rush hour traffic.




					nbc-2.com


----------



## SuperMatt

Family from Florida goes to Hawaii, gets caught with fake vaccine cards...









						Florida couple busted in Hawaii with fake vaccine cards | Boing Boing
					

Enzo and Daniela Dalmazzo were arrested last week in Honolulu for having fake vaccine cards. That’s not too surprising, given the fact that they’re from Florida. The odd thing abou…




					boingboing.net


----------



## DT

JFC ...


----------



## MEJHarrison

DT said:


> JFC ...




I've watched it twice now.  I'm giving it a 50-ish way tie for my favorite comments.  It would be quicker to point out the parts that only made me laugh a little bit.


----------



## Alli

“I’m a Christian. I would never mask my children.” I’ve read the story of Abraham once too often so I will happily leave my children at the alter and if god wants them they’re his to take. I’m just a vessel.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida Man discovers Twitter on August 8th, by August 9th his account had been suspended, by August 12th he was under arrest for his Tweets. Don't Fark with the House of Mouse in Florida
Man Threatened to Blow Up Disney Executives’ Homes, Ranted About Activision, Sent 186 Tweets in Three Hours: Deputies​








						Man Threatened to Blow Up Disney Executives’ Homes, Ranted About Activision, Sent 186 Tweets in Three Hours: Deputies
					

A man went on a prolific tweetstorm, ranting about Activision's ongoing legal problems and threatening to blow up Disney executives' homes, authorities say. Deputies arrested Steven James Jordan, 31, on Thursday and booked him into the Pinellas County Jail, online records show.




					lawandcrime.com


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> Florida Man discovers Twitter on August 8th, by August 9th his account had been suspended, by August 12th he was under arrest for his Tweets. Don't Fark with the House of Mouse in Florida
> Man Threatened to Blow Up Disney Executives’ Homes, Ranted About Activision, Sent 186 Tweets in Three Hours: Deputies​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Man Threatened to Blow Up Disney Executives’ Homes, Ranted About Activision, Sent 186 Tweets in Three Hours: Deputies
> 
> 
> A man went on a prolific tweetstorm, ranting about Activision's ongoing legal problems and threatening to blow up Disney executives' homes, authorities say. Deputies arrested Steven James Jordan, 31, on Thursday and booked him into the Pinellas County Jail, online records show.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lawandcrime.com



I expected the picture to be of Donald Trump when I read the headline.


----------



## DT

WTF with Activision, hahaha ...

“There were several other tweets directed toward Activision Games in reference to their video games, derogatory comments about their executives, and other current litigation issues,”


----------



## fooferdoggie

No matter how good your counterfeit vaccination cards are, if they're for your kids who are 4 and 5 years old, you're gonna get caught
Florida couple arrested in Hawaii for using fake vaccination cards​








						Florida couple arrested in Hawaii for using fake vaccination cards
					

The couple was arrested on the north shore of Honolulu after attempting to use the cards for their kids who were born in 2016 and 2017. The kids are too young to be vaccinated and gave the couple a…




					www.wfla.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Felony Rap In Knifepoint Candy Bar Robbery​armed robbery for a candy bar then did not even take it.








						Felony Rap In Knifepoint Candy Bar Robbery
					

AUGUST 19--You’re not you when you’re hungry. A Florida Man is jailed on an armed robbery charge after allegedly trying to steal a Snickers candy bar at knifepoint in a Wawa convenience store. A cler




					www.thesmokinggun.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

‘I’m a Cop’: Off-Duty Police Officer Allegedly Grabbed Woman’s Hips During Karaoke, Punched Her Husband​








						'I'm a Cop': Off-Duty Police Officer Allegedly Grabbed Woman's Hips During Karaoke, Punched Her Husband
					

An off-duty police officer put his hands on a woman's hips, and after she rejected him, he punched her husband, say cops in New Smyrna Beach, Florida.




					lawandcrime.com


----------



## User.168

.


----------



## fooferdoggie

oops


----------



## JayMysteri0

Something to bear in mind as well, as we worry about the kids
https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1434539727844257793/

There really needs to start an accountability for the actions / inactions of some leaders who made their decisions based on politics, and NOT their citizenry.


----------



## Huntn

I never realized what a fun State Florida is…I usually visit once a year to see my Dad, but so far nothing to report.


----------



## Huntn

JayMysteri0 said:


> Something to bear in mind as well, as we worry about the kids
> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1434539727844257793/
> 
> There really needs to start an accountability for the actions / inactions of some leaders who made their decisions based on politics, and NOT their citizenry.



He’s a political nitwit, supported by a majority of Southern nitwits, questions?


----------



## JayMysteri0

EVERYTHING will be fine
https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1434685955097698305/
What could go wrong?


----------



## fooferdoggie

He led police on a chase on a kayak, then on foot. Cops say they caught him with lobsters in his pockets.​








						He led police on a chase on a kayak, then on foot. Cops say they caught him with lobsters in his pockets.
					

State marine patrol police in the Florida Keys said a Miami Lakes man led them on a chase on a kayak through a canal and then on foot through a Key Largo neighborhood.




					www.yahoo.com


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> He led police on a chase on a kayak, then on foot. Cops say they caught him with lobsters in his pockets.​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> He led police on a chase on a kayak, then on foot. Cops say they caught him with lobsters in his pockets.
> 
> 
> State marine patrol police in the Florida Keys said a Miami Lakes man led them on a chase on a kayak through a canal and then on foot through a Key Largo neighborhood.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.yahoo.com



There are fish tales, then there are Lobster Tales!


----------



## fooferdoggie

When the roads are bad in Florida and don't get fixed, you do the most Florida thing you can do. Plant a palm tree in that pothole. The Florida tag abides, with picture goodness









						Tree planted in pothole in protest of road conditions
					

It’s a sight you have to see to believe: a banana tree, planted in a pothole in the middle of the road.




					www.wcjb.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

[Florida] To be fair, driving a golf cart naked through a police line is a pretty standard way to handle a standoff in Florida​Naked woman drove golf cart through armed standoff in Dunedin, deputy says​








						Naked woman drove golf cart through armed standoff in Dunedin, deputy says
					

Deputies in Pinellas County had plenty on their hands Sunday morning while they tried to diffuse a standoff with an armed teenager on a rooftop.




					www.wfla.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

you end up with a florida mom and a Florida man in this double stupid florida man
Mother’s panic captured in 911 call after man stole car with toddler inside; suspect arrested​








						Mother’s panic captured in 911 call after man stole car with toddler inside; suspect arrested
					

Surveillance video shows a suspect wanted in a carjacking on Monday in Fort Lauderdale.




					www.local10.com


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> [Florida] To be fair, driving a golf cart naked through a police line is a pretty standard way to handle a standoff in Florida​Naked woman drove golf cart through armed standoff in Dunedin, deputy says​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Naked woman drove golf cart through armed standoff in Dunedin, deputy says
> 
> 
> Deputies in Pinellas County had plenty on their hands Sunday morning while they tried to diffuse a standoff with an armed teenager on a rooftop.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.wfla.com



The story of the teenager with the gun they were trying to deal with was pretty bad too. The link is within the story - he stole a gun, then ran away from cops onto the roof of a building, shooting himself in the leg on the way, then engaging in a 6-hour standoff? He’s lucky he didn’t bleed out during that time. Only in Florida are you dealing with something that insane, only to be interrupted by a drunk lady with no clothing on a golf cart…..


----------



## JayMysteri0

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1436908896937992196/


----------



## fooferdoggie

I think they jsut should ahve charged him several extra tools that would have taken care off it.
Florida man exposed himself to toll collectors 7 times, troopers say​








						Florida man exposed himself to toll collectors 7 times, troopers say
					

A Florida man has been arrested on charges he exposed himself at various toll collectors over a week’s span.




					www.local10.com


----------



## JayMysteri0

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1437426871596195840/

Somehow this will be the fault of masks


----------



## JayMysteri0

So there's been a great effort to "not" have this trending on Twitter 

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1438899457064460291/

_Yes, of course it's trending_


----------



## Thomas Veil

fooferdoggie said:


> He led police on a chase on a kayak, then on foot. Cops say they caught him with lobsters in his pockets.​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> He led police on a chase on a kayak, then on foot. Cops say they caught him with lobsters in his pockets.
> 
> 
> State marine patrol police in the Florida Keys said a Miami Lakes man led them on a chase on a kayak through a canal and then on foot through a Key Largo neighborhood.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.yahoo.com



Come on! You make it sound like that hasn't happened to all of us at one time or another.




DT said:


> WTF with Activision, hahaha ...
> 
> “There were several other tweets directed toward Activision Games in reference to their video games, derogatory comments about their executives, and other current litigation issues,”



I know I've almost lost it several times waiting for Mattel to being back Intellivision.




​If it takes much longer, I'm not gonna be responsible for my actions.




Just kidding there, Homeland Security.


----------



## fooferdoggie

If you steal a car from a dealership, it's probably best to not use it as your trade-in at the same dealership you stole it from








						Florida man accused of trying to trade car to dealer he stole it from
					

A Florida man is accused of trying to trade car to dealer he stole it from. He's been jailed.




					www.autoblog.com


----------



## DT

Thomas Veil said:


> Come on! You make it sound like that hasn't happened to all of us at one time or another.




He had a bunch of undersized tails in his pockets, that's a pretty nasty fine (outside of the felony evasion).

At least he was catching them in season 





Thomas Veil said:


> I know I've almost lost it several times waiting for Mattel to being back Intellivision.




Oh man, that was a fun system, I loved Sea Battle, and the first D&D game they released was excellent too.  Pretty clever, with the keypad and overlays that came with each game (to show the button functions).


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida woman accused of tossing firebombs at Buddhist temple​








						Florida woman accused of tossing firebombs at Buddhist temple
					

Sheriff's deputies in Florida say a 46-year-old woman is accused of firebombing a Buddhist temple.




					www.clickorlando.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

this guy had some balls in who he scammed.
Ocoee man sentenced to federal prison after stealing state, federal legislator identities​








						Ocoee man sentenced to federal prison after stealing state, federal legislator identities
					

An Ocoee man has been sentenced to six years and five months in federal prison for aggravated identity theft and wire fraud, according to a release from the Middle District of Florida United States Attorney’s Office.




					www.clickorlando.com


----------



## SuperMatt

I thought we could use an uplifting story about Florida man:​Florida man bought wooden plaque at garage sale to use for gun repair, turned out to contain Louisiana's long lost moon rock​








						Louisiana's missing moon rock found in Florida thanks to broken gun
					

A long lost piece of the moon belonging to the state of Louisiana may have remained missing, if not also been discarded or destroyed, had the wooden plaque on which it was mounted not attracted the eye of a Florida gun collector.



					www.collectspace.com


----------



## Thomas Veil

SuperMatt said:


> I thought we could use an uplifting story about Florida man:...​



I was just thinking along similar lines. Y'all have probably seen this by now, but fair's fair. Here's a Florida man who actually did something laudable.

(Might've been smarter to call the game warden, though.)









						This man used a garbage can to successfully trap a gator in Florida. Fish and wildlife authorities say to leave the trapping to them
					

It's the kind of thing you can only expect to see in Florida.




					www.cnn.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida nurse fired for posting photos of newborn with birth defect on Instagram​








						Florida nurse fired for posting photos of newborn with birth defect on Instagram
					

Sierra Samuels, who also posted several other photos of herself on the job, was placed on administrative leave last month after the photos surfaced.




					nypost.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

only in florida.

BAL HARBOUR, FLA. (WSVN) - Miami-Dade Police have confirmed what was once called a “clandestine lab” inside of a unit of a high-rise in Bal Harbour was indeed a meth lab.

Three floors were evacuated Monday night after, police said, officers discovered the components of what they now confirm was a meth lab.

7SkyForce hovered above the scene as first responders entered the Majestic Towers, located at 9601 Collins Ave., just after 4 p.m., Monday.

Several Bal Harbour Police and Miami-Dade Fire Rescue units were also seen pulling up to the condominium, which is located one block south of Bal Harbour Shops.








						Police confirm Meth lab discovered at Bal Harbour high-rise
					

BAL HARBOUR, FLA. (WSVN) - Miami-Dade Police have confirmed what was once called a “clandestine lab” inside of a unit of a high-rise in Bal...




					wsvn.com


----------



## JayMysteri0

While Texas is all about bringing the mad & sad, Florida is about the comedy

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1445892174701154313/
https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1445913862637817858/
https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1445896964999192581/
https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1445901497447837696/
https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1445897275947905024/

In case you are not scratching your head yet in amazement



> Ron DeSantis' new surgeon general appeared in "demon sperm" doctor's COVID conspiracy video
> 
> 
> Ladapo also authored multiple op-eds questioning the safety of COVID vaccines, downplaying the effectiveness of masks and pushing hydroxychloroquine.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.newsweek.com





> Joseph Ladapo—the doctor appointed on Tuesday as Florida's new surgeon general by Republican Governor Ron DeSantis—once appeared in a COVID-19 conspiracy video featuring Dr. Stella Immanuel. Immanuel, a pediatrician and religious minister, gained notoriety in 2020 for her bizarre theories, including that "demonic seed" causes endometriosis and ovarian cysts.
> 
> In July 2020, Ladapo appeared in a 43-minute viral video as part of a group called America's Frontline Doctors. None of the doctors in the video were epidemiologists or immunologists best qualified to speak on infectious diseases, _Rolling Stone_ reported at the time. The doctors' recorded speech was organized by the Tea Party Patriots, a right-wing group backed by wealthy Republican donors.
> 
> The video promoted hydroxychloroquine as a "cure" for COVID-19, even though studies haven't substantiated that claim. The video also said that masks do not slow the virus' spread and that COVID-19 is less deadly than the flu. Both claims are untrue.
> 
> The video received millions of views when then-President Donald Trump, his son Donald Trump Jr. and other right-wing media figures shared the clip on their social media accounts. Facebook, YouTube and Twitter all removed the video for violating their policies on sharing COVID-19 misinformation.


----------



## Thomas Veil

Good lord. 

If it looks like a quack and it talks like a quack…


----------



## fooferdoggie

Couple Busted For Defrauding Homeowners Through Fraudulent Pool Business
The husband and wife owners of a swimming pool company face multiple charges for allegedly defrauding nearly 150 Floridians out of at least $2 million.

"They systematically set out with a plan to defraud homeowners along the Treasure Coast and other counties."


FDLE Special Agent Lee Massie says Chrystal and Brian Washburn operated Amore Pools out of Vero Beach, taking large deposits for new pool installations and then either leaving the work unfinished or never starting it. 

Some of the victims were left with giant holes in their backyards, resulting in the foundation of their home becoming unstable.

The victims span six counties: Brevard, Indian River, Martin, Okeechobee, Palm Beach and St. Lucie, and Massie says the suspects were attempting to branch out to more areas of the state.









						Couple Busted For Defrauding Homeowners Through Fraudulent Pool Business | 100.7 WFLA | Florida News
					

Authorities say Brian and Chrystal Washburn stole $2 million from around 150 homeowners in six counties by taking deposits for new swimming pools and either never finishing the job or never starting it at all.




					wflafm.iheart.com


----------



## Chew Toy McCoy

tranceking26 said:


> This one always pops up on imgur, as far as I know it is true lol




Even without the tattoos, this guy has petty criminal face.  It's like genetics stacked the cards against him.


----------



## Thomas Veil

LOL. The Pats logo is goofy enough, but the helmet maker’s brand on his forehead??

Even this guy had better tats.


----------



## fooferdoggie

so funny. battle of the lawyers​​St. Petersburg billboards battle over whether bigger is better​








						St. Petersburg billboards battle over whether bigger is better
					

You may have seen the phallic-humored billboards on Interstate 275. Here’s the deal.




					www.tampabay.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Leave it to florida to change peoples skin color.
Trailblazing Black Firefighter Furious Over Florida Mural Depicting Her as White​








						Trailblazing Black Firefighter Furious Over Mural Depicting Her as White
					

Latosha Clemons is suing the City of Boynton Beach over the badly botched mural.



					www.thedailybeast.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

oops


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida man wielding sword sets fire in roadway, floods booking office after arrest, police say​








						Florida man wielding sword sets fire in roadway, floods booking office after arrest, police say
					

TITUSVILLE, Fla. (WESH) — Authorities say when they arrived to four-feet high flames in a Brevard County roadway, they found a man holding a sword and drinking alcohol. Deputies say they were on ac…




					www.wfla.com


----------



## JayMysteri0

Wha?

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1450521427577393156/



> Lakeland motorcyclist killed after crash with Florida Highway Patrol vehicle
> 
> 
> Officials say a state trooper was assisting a roadway construction crew when the vehicle was moved into the path of the motorcyclist.
> 
> 
> 
> www.theledger.com





> AUBURNDALE— A Lakeland man was killed after officials said he crashed a motorcycle he was riding into a Florida Highway Patrol car and was thrown in the path of a tractor trailer Monday.
> 
> Officials said the incident happened in Auburndale around at 7:30 p.m. on State Road 400, west of State Road 559 near Lake Agnes.
> 
> According to a release, the marked FHP was car parked inside the shoulder of westbound State Road 400 at Milepost 43, west of State Road 559 as the motorcyclist was traveling westbound on State Road 400 on a 2015 Harley Davidson motorcycle.





> Officials said a 25-year-old man from Darlington, South Carolina was also traveling west in the center lane of State Road 400 in a tractor trailer parallel to the motorcyclist.
> 
> While assisting a roadway construction crew with closing a lane, the Highway Patrol vehicle moved into the path of the motorcyclist. The motorcyclist ran into the right front side of the FHP vehicle, officials said. The motorcyclist was then thrown from the bike and was struck by the tractor trailer.
> 
> The motorcyclist, who was wearing a helmet, died at the scene.
> 
> The Florida Highway Patrol is not releasing the names of the drivers because the crash is still under investigation.


----------



## Chew Toy McCoy

2 Florida Elementary Teachers Facing Charges After Entering Wrong Home and Shooting Occupant
					

Two Florida elementary school physical education teachers are facing charges after they entered the wrong person’s home and shot someone after a night drinking.




					www.complex.com
				




Because it’s Florida the shooting happened way later in the timeline than you’d expect.

This reminds me of a guy I knew who got a DUI after the cop was going to let him off with a warning but then said "Well fuck you anyway".


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida man uses finger guns to steal Waffle House napkins, deputies say​MADISON COUNTY, Fla. (WCTV) - A Madison County Waffle House employee called 911 Monday night to report an attempted robbery. The suspect was unarmed, and simply left after grabbing some napkins, according to the Madison County Sheriff’s Office.

MCSO identified Edward William Rodriguez as the assailant, based on video footage and witness descriptions.

Rodriguez entered the Waffle House on 145 SE Bandit Street at about at 8 p.m., said MCSO. Witnesses described him as a white man wearing a gray hoodie, dark jeans, a dark hat, with dark hair. He was reportedly accompanied by a small dog.

Rodriguez then began shouting “get on the ground, y’all are getting robbed,” according to MCSO’s report. He then stated that he was “high and drunk,” before grabbing some napkins and walking out. Rodriguez got into a vehicle and left the parking lot, the 911 caller told deputies.








						Florida man uses finger guns to steal Waffle House napkins, deputies say
					

A Madison County Waffle House employee called 911 Monday night to report an attempted robbery.




					www.mysuncoast.com


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> Florida man uses finger guns to steal Waffle House napkins, deputies say​MADISON COUNTY, Fla. (WCTV) - A Madison County Waffle House employee called 911 Monday night to report an attempted robbery. The suspect was unarmed, and simply left after grabbing some napkins, according to the Madison County Sheriff’s Office.
> 
> MCSO identified Edward William Rodriguez as the assailant, based on video footage and witness descriptions.
> 
> Rodriguez entered the Waffle House on 145 SE Bandit Street at about at 8 p.m., said MCSO. Witnesses described him as a white man wearing a gray hoodie, dark jeans, a dark hat, with dark hair. He was reportedly accompanied by a small dog.
> 
> Rodriguez then began shouting “get on the ground, y’all are getting robbed,” according to MCSO’s report. He then stated that he was “high and drunk,” before grabbing some napkins and walking out. Rodriguez got into a vehicle and left the parking lot, the 911 caller told deputies.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Florida man uses finger guns to steal Waffle House napkins, deputies say
> 
> 
> A Madison County Waffle House employee called 911 Monday night to report an attempted robbery.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.mysuncoast.com



People called 911 because a guy stole napkins? Ah, Florida.


----------



## DT

SuperMatt said:


> People called 911 because a guy stole napkins? Ah, Florida.




Yeah, because the next headline in *Flori-Duh* would be:

Man loses arms from explosive device built using Waffle House napkins


----------



## lizkat

JayMysteri0 said:


> While Texas is all about bringing the mad & sad, Florida is about the comedy
> 
> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1445892174701154313/
> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1445913862637817858/
> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1445896964999192581/
> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1445901497447837696/
> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1445897275947905024/
> 
> In case you are not scratching your head yet in amazement




Yeah that f'g guy is becoming less and less funny.   Wouldn't mask up to meet with a Florida state senator who has cancer. 









						Florida’s surgeon general refused to wear mask to meet senator with cancer
					

State Surgeon General Ladapo reportedly declined to say why he wouldn't wear a mask.




					arstechnica.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

lizkat said:


> Yeah that f'g guy is becoming less and less funny.   Wouldn't mask up to meet with a Florida state senator who has cancer.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Florida’s surgeon general refused to wear mask to meet senator with cancer
> 
> 
> State Surgeon General Ladapo reportedly declined to say why he wouldn't wear a mask.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> arstechnica.com



he is a chip off the old stupid covid denier block.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Felony Charges Filed In KFC Drive-Thru Rage​Cops: Woman "unhappy with the service" hit teenage employee​








						Felony Charges Filed In KFC Drive-Thru Rage
					

OCTOBER 25--A chicken enthusiast is facing felony burglary and child abuse charges after allegedly striking a teenage worker in the neck because she was “unhappy with the service at the KFC drive-thr




					thesmokinggun.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida woman uses a novel Florida approach to drug rehabilitation




__





						Florida drug rehab clinic owner charged with selling fentanyl
					





					www.msn.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Fight breaks out at Florida Dog show after organizers wouldn't refund entry fees to losers








						Brawl breaks out at Miami dog show as owners demand refunds over loss
					

The fight escalated quickly. Video of the incident shows people throwing punches, grabbing each other and sending chairs flying across the room. No injuries to animals or people were reported.




					www.dailymail.co.uk


----------



## Yoused

fooferdoggie said:


> Florida woman uses a novel Florida approach to drug rehabilitation
> 
> 
> 
> 
> __
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Florida drug rehab clinic owner charged with selling fentanyl
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.msn.com



Nothing like trying to boost your prospective client base.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Yoused said:


> Nothing like trying to boost your prospective client base.



its like planned obsolesce


----------



## User.168

.


----------



## Chew Toy McCoy

Brass Against apologises after singer urinates on fan during live show
					

Brass Against have apologised after its lead singer urinated on the face of a fan at the Welcome to Rockville festival in Florida.




					tonedeaf.thebrag.com
				




When in Florida


----------



## fooferdoggie

Woman hands vodka shots out to passengers when told she can’t take it through security​In a move that only Florida could pull off a woman flying out of the Miami international airport was informed she couldn’t bring her jug of vodka through airport security. Her solution? Instead of tossing it…she passed around the bottle as fellow passengers glugged a few shots. We have the video. 

The video has gone completely viral on TikTok and shows user @latinnbella and fellow passengers pounding a bottle of vodka before going through the airport security line. It seems she forgot the 100ml rule for traveling with alcohol








						Woman hands vodka shots out to passengers when told she can't take it through security
					

In a move that only Florida could pull off a woman flying out of the Miami international airport was informed she couldn't bring her jug of vodka through airport security. Her solution? Instead of tossing it...she passed around the bottle as fellow passengers glugged a few shots. We have the video.




					cboardinggroup.com


----------



## Thomas Veil

Give her credit for ingenuity. _That_ is some creative trolling.


----------



## fooferdoggie

As a palate cleanser, may we offer you Florida Woman, attempting to enter Canada with 56 handguns in her car?
Florida woman caught trying to enter Canada with 56 guns in her car​








						Florida woman caught trying to enter Canada with 56 guns in her car | News
					

A Florida woman is facing a slew of charges after allegedly attempting to drive into Canada with 56 guns in the trunk of her car.




					dailyhive.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

of course if they called the cops it may have turned out differently but this is florida.


‘Girl tried to kill me’: Biker tells police after shooting librarian accused of pointing gun at him​ORANGE CITY, Fla. —
Police in Orange City believe a woman intentionally hit a motorcyclist and took off before being shot and killed around 5 p.m. Saturday.

Investigators say the motorcyclist and several witnesses followed her home, and there was then a confrontation right in her front yard.








						‘Girl tried to kill me’: Biker tells police after shooting librarian accused of pointing gun at him
					

Police say a confrontation took place in the roadway and the Kia driver, 35-year-old Sara Nicole Morales, was shot multiple times.




					www.wesh.com


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> of course if they called the cops it may have turned out differently but this is florida.
> 
> 
> ‘Girl tried to kill me’: Biker tells police after shooting librarian accused of pointing gun at him​ORANGE CITY, Fla. —
> Police in Orange City believe a woman intentionally hit a motorcyclist and took off before being shot and killed around 5 p.m. Saturday.
> 
> Investigators say the motorcyclist and several witnesses followed her home, and there was then a confrontation right in her front yard.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ‘Girl tried to kill me’: Biker tells police after shooting librarian accused of pointing gun at him
> 
> 
> Police say a confrontation took place in the roadway and the Kia driver, 35-year-old Sara Nicole Morales, was shot multiple times.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.wesh.com



More guns keep people safer. Clearly this situation would have turned out better if everybody on the scene had at least two guns instead of just one.


----------



## Yoused

SuperMatt said:


> Clearly this situation would have turned out better if everybody on the scene had at least two guns instead of just one.



It is difficult for me to imagine a situation where reducing the number of people in Florida could be a bad thing.


----------



## SuperMatt

*Florida man identified as Capitol insurgent by his Michael Jackson impersonation attire...*









						FBI identified Florida man as alleged Capitol rioter thanks to his job as Michael Jackson impersonator and role in Jesus Christ Superstar | Boing Boing
					

Yesterday, the FBI arrested James Beeks, 49, of Orlando, Florida, for his alleged role in the January 6 attack on the US Capitol. According to prosecutors, Beeks is affiliated with the Oath Keepers…




					boingboing.net


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida woman accused of walking into home, undressing, then hugging and sitting on people​








						Florida woman accused of walking into home, undressing, then hugging and sitting on people
					

CITRUS COUNTY, Fla. (WFLA) — A Florida woman was arrested Sunday after police say she walked into a Citrus County home and undressed herself before hugging and sitting on multiple people, including…




					www.wbtw.com


----------



## JayMysteri0

What could possibly go wrong?








> The Disgusting Reality Behind Ron DeSantis’ New ‘Army’
> 
> 
> The Florida governor has no plans to protect anyone with his proposed state military. The real goal is much darker.
> 
> 
> 
> www.thedailybeast.com




This is only a guy who eagerly signed a bill that lets people run over protestors.

What else could he want?

Oh.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Hot under the collar? Police say man used flamethrower to settle parking dispute








						Hot under the collar? Police say man used flamethrower to settle parking dispute
					

Armed with a flamethrower, which is not a regulated weapon, the man allegedly sprayed flames toward a car with three teens inside in parking dispute.



					www.gainesville.com


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> Hot under the collar? Police say man used flamethrower to settle parking dispute​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hot under the collar? Police say man used flamethrower to settle parking dispute
> 
> 
> Armed with a flamethrower, which is not a regulated weapon, the man allegedly sprayed flames toward a car with three teens inside in parking dispute.
> 
> 
> 
> www.gainesville.com



Wow! I loved this line from the guy with the flamethrower:



> “This family, how could I say this — the worst thing that could ever happen to a neighborhood,” Abrams said. “They’ve had issues with other residents, and it needs to be brought to light.”



They are doing something worse than shooting flamethrowers at their neighbors? Must be pretty bad!


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida teen pulled over while racing at 136 mph over a bridge. Even worse, he didn't even win the race








						St. Petersburg man drove 136 mph on Howard Frankland, troopers say
					

Eric Killins, 19, was driving an Infinity G37, racing someone in a Dodge Charger Hellcat, he told troopers. Killins had three passengers in the car.




					www.tampabay.com


----------



## JayMysteri0

Until now, I had never used the two words "offensively stupid" together.

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1471126604189519873/

Sue schools?  These MFer's can't explain to anyone in terms a kindergartener would understand, what CRT is.  And you want to let people sue over it?

"Woke"?  Really?

For F- sake!


----------



## SuperMatt

JayMysteri0 said:


> Until now, I had never used the two words "offensively stupid" together.
> 
> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1471126604189519873/
> 
> Sue schools?  These MFer's can't explain to anyone in terms a kindergartener would understand, what CRT is.  And you want to let people sue over it?
> 
> "Woke"?  Really?
> 
> For F- sake!



This crap is catching on in France too.

Why is it that so many people are *personally* offended when a spotlight is shone upon racist systems? Seems weird for a white person to be personally offended by the teaching of redlining or school segregation or banks’ refusal to lend to black people. Nobody is telling them to feel guilty about it, but they claim it makes them feel guilty. That makes you think... maybe they support these systems or they are secretly racist. Coming out against CRT is a way to be racist without “being a racist.” When BLM became famous, these folks initially tried to attack BLM the “communist organization” but such critiques ended up making the critics look really racist. CRT is just a “concept” supposedly, so they can attack that bogeyman and not “be a racist” while pushing whitewashing of racism in American history.

TL;DR - If CRT makes you personally feel guilty, you probably did something racist, or benefitted from/participated in some racist systems.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida man boards plane with panties on his face in place of a mask. From there, things really begin to take off
several idiots agreed with him and left their flight.









						Florida man challenges mask policy on flight by wearing women's underwear on his face
					

A Cape Coral man tells us he was kicked off United Airlines flight Wednesday morning because he was wearing women's underwear as a face mask.




					www.fox4now.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Nude Melbourne man steals truck from dealership, leads cops on chase​








						Nude Melbourne man steals truck from dealership, leads cops on chase | 100.7 WFLA | Florida News
					

Naked Florida man steals truck from dealership, leads police on chase across Melbourne early Wednesday morning.




					wflafm.iheart.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

When you call a judge in your child's custody case, make bomb threats and say "I'm about to do some crazy sh-t," guess what - you already did
‘I’m about to do some crazy sh–‘: Clearwater man threatens to blow himself and others up​








						‘I’m about to do some crazy sh–‘: Clearwater man threatened to blow himself and others up, deputies say
					

A Clearwater man was arrested Friday after police said he threatened to use a bomb to kill himself and others at the Judicial Qualification Commission (JQC).




					www.wfla.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Robber captured 15 minutes after knocking off Key West bank forgot he lives on island with one way off








						POLICE ARRESTED SUSPECTED BANK ROBBER WITHIN 15 MINUTES IN KEY WEST, FLORIDA
					

On the morning of Dec. 15, Key West Police officers and detectives responded to First State Bank at 1201 Simonton St. for a reported bank robbery.  A description of the robber was provided to law enforcement. In fewer than 15 minutes, Key West Police found a suspect, Alphonso Woods, 31, entering...




					keysweekly.com


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> Robber captured 15 minutes after knocking off Key West bank forgot he lives on island with one way off
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> POLICE ARRESTED SUSPECTED BANK ROBBER WITHIN 15 MINUTES IN KEY WEST, FLORIDA
> 
> 
> On the morning of Dec. 15, Key West Police officers and detectives responded to First State Bank at 1201 Simonton St. for a reported bank robbery.  A description of the robber was provided to law enforcement. In fewer than 15 minutes, Key West Police found a suspect, Alphonso Woods, 31, entering...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> keysweekly.com



Reminds me of the scene from *True Lies*






Gotta love how it looks like the truck is gonna get away until that last missile...

Just searched and lo and behold - an article on how they created the scene!









						'True Lies' at 25: blowing up the causeway miniature - befores & afters
					

Today I will explain behind the scenes of that Florida causeway scene in the James Cameron spy adventure. Click here to learn more.




					beforesandafters.com


----------



## rdrr

fooferdoggie said:


> Robber captured 15 minutes after knocking off Key West bank forgot he lives on island with one way off
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> POLICE ARRESTED SUSPECTED BANK ROBBER WITHIN 15 MINUTES IN KEY WEST, FLORIDA
> 
> 
> On the morning of Dec. 15, Key West Police officers and detectives responded to First State Bank at 1201 Simonton St. for a reported bank robbery.  A description of the robber was provided to law enforcement. In fewer than 15 minutes, Key West Police found a suspect, Alphonso Woods, 31, entering...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> keysweekly.com



One way off by car or foot.  There are several other ways off of Key West, you just need to be a critical thinker.  I guess that is the reason for this thread?


----------



## JayMysteri0

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1473863286466691073/


----------



## Yoused

Since I did not feel like starting a new thread, I nominate this guy as an honorary Florida Man Wannabe









						Man taken to hospital after oxygen tank explodes
					

A man was taken to the hospital Thursday afternoon after an oxygen tank exploded, 911 dispatchers confirm.




					www.wsaz.com
				




He was pounding on an oxygen tank with a hammer. Why he was doing that is, well, baffling. It was in Charleston West Virginia, which is, AFAICT, right next to Florida. At least, sometimes it seems like it.


----------



## fooferdoggie

So, we were just trespassing to tell you guys Merry Xmas, or Happy Holidays, and... yeah, anyway, there was an 'incident' and my husband strangled your kangaroo








						Branch County restaurant owner who defied Michigan shutdowns dies of Covid
					






					www.deadlinedetroit.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Police Chief Told Officers Where To Get Fake COVID-19 Vaccination Cards​








						Police Chief Told Officers Where To Get Fake COVID-19 Vaccination Cards
					

T.J. Smith, the police chief in Oakboro, North Carolina, was placed on probation after an external investigation confirmed the scheme.




					www.huffpost.com


----------



## Alli

fooferdoggie said:


> Police Chief Told Officers Where To Get Fake COVID-19 Vaccination Cards​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Police Chief Told Officers Where To Get Fake COVID-19 Vaccination Cards
> 
> 
> T.J. Smith, the police chief in Oakboro, North Carolina, was placed on probation after an external investigation confirmed the scheme.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.huffpost.com



He should have been fired immediately.


----------



## Yoused

Alli said:


> He should have been fired immediately.



This guy got in serious trouble for doing that








						Multnomah County deputy pleads guilty to vaccine card scam
					

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — A Multnomah County sheriff’s deputy pleaded guilty Tuesday to misusing vaccine cards, according to the Multnomah County District Attorney’s Office. Robert James Haney, 50, of Battle Ground, Washington, will serve six months probation, resign from the sheriff’s office...




					apnews.com
				



but the part about that story is that the county sheriff cannot manage to hire deputies who live in the _same fucking state_ much less even the same county.


----------



## Thomas Veil

“…And I have no idea how they got there.” 

*Florida man with drugs around penis denies they were his*








						Florida man with drugs around penis denies they were his
					

Florida authorities say they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around a man’s penis during a traffic stop, but the man denied the drugs were his.




					www.news5cleveland.com


----------



## Yoused

this headline makes FloridaMan sad









						Christmas without Rush Limbaugh
					

This is our first Christmas without Rush Limbaugh, and for millions of us it is a terrible void.




					www.foxnews.com


----------



## SuperMatt

Yoused said:


> this headline makes FloridaMan sad
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Christmas without Rush Limbaugh
> 
> 
> This is our first Christmas without Rush Limbaugh, and for millions of us it is a terrible void.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.foxnews.com



Thanks Santa!


----------



## fooferdoggie

nothing says Christmas in Florida like a good shooting. 
Police: Boca Raton man shot over loud music argument​








						Police: Boca Raton man shot over loud music argument
					

The victim's family was able to wrestle Zachary Moncada to the ground after he fired at them, according to a report.



					www.palmbeachpost.com


----------



## Thomas Veil

SuperMatt said:


> Thanks Santa!



God, the boo-hoo-hooing over that man’s death. I’m gonna fwow up.


----------



## Yoused

Thomas Veil said:


> God, the boo-hoo-hooing over that man’s death



_Come in here, dear boy,
Have a cigar …_


----------



## JayMysteri0

> Critics Attack Florida Gov. as COVID Ravages State—'Ron DeSantis is MIA'
> 
> 
> Jerry Demings, the mayor of Orange County, said residents should be "outraged" and asked: "Where is Ron DeSantis now?"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.newsweek.com





> Critics have rounded on Florida Governor Ron DeSantis after his state broke its daily record for new COVID-19 cases three times in a week.
> 
> Two Florida elected officials, an MSNBC host, and the head of a group seeking to remove DeSantis from office have all suggested that the Republican governor is "missing in action" in recent days.
> 
> The state recorded 46,923 new COVID-19 cases on Wednesday. That was the highest single-day increase in infections since the pandemic began, while the previous record had been set at 32,874 daily cases on Christmas Eve. Before that, a new record of 31,744 cases was recorded on December 23.






> Cross noted that according to _The Orlando Sentinel, _DeSantis last held a press conference about COVID-19 on December 17. She went to discuss a photo DeSantis had shared to Instagram and Twitter "just hours" after Demings' comments that showed him at a restaurant.








A demonstration of leadership style for a guy seeking higher office?


----------



## fooferdoggie

JayMysteri0 said:


> A demonstration of leadership style for a guy seeking higher office?



on vacation with good old teddy?


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> on vacation with good old teddy?



Or hiding in his basement... why isn’t Fox upset about it when DeSantis is doing it?









						McEnany: Biden won't be able to hide 'in the basement' anymore if he runs in 2024
					

'The Five' react to President Biden throwing some possible doubts on the 2024 elections when he said he would run depending on his health.




					www.foxnews.com


----------



## Chew Toy McCoy

SuperMatt said:


> Or hiding in his basement... why isn’t Fox upset about it when DeSantis is doing it?




If the rest of their reporting and accusations is any indicator, it’s because Fox knows DeSantis’ basement is where the real elite pedophile ring is run from.


----------



## SuperMatt

Chew Toy McCoy said:


> If the rest of their reporting and accusations is any indicator, it’s because Fox knows DeSantis’ basement is where the real elite pedophile ring is run from.



But is the pizza any good?


----------



## JayMysteri0

Update:   The guy is in fact actually on vacation.

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1476605862533902342/

Just need to find out he's golfing, and he is indeed a fitting replacement.

Oh wait...

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1476696376671145984/



WTF?

Wait.  This just in...

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1476648237364768789/
She's still killing it.


----------



## Thomas Veil

^ WTF??


----------



## SuperMatt

JayMysteri0 said:


> Update:   The guy is in fact actually on vacation.
> 
> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1476605862533902342/
> 
> Just need to find out he's golfing, and he is indeed a fitting replacement.
> 
> Oh wait...
> 
> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1476696376671145984/
> 
> 
> 
> WTF?
> 
> Wait.  This just in...
> 
> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1476648237364768789/
> She's still killing it.



I looked for coverage of this on Fox, and didn’t find any direct coverage. However, I did find that they are going after AOC for visiting Miami and eating outdoors without a mask. They also point out that the *office* of DeSantis called her out for it on Twitter.

So, they are alluding to Ron’s disappearance without actually addressing it, and instead focusing on a House member taking vacation while hand-waving away the absence of the GOVERNOR of possibly the worst-hit state in America.

And DeSantis’ office is trying to distract from his disappearing act by attacking AOC? I mean, at least we know where she is, unlike the Florida governor.

Sadly, many people only get ”news” from Fox, so they might not even know about the missing governor, but they sure are
outraged at AOC, as always.









						AOC in Miami Beach for 'taste of freedom' as New York sees record number of COVID cases: report
					

U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez appeared to get an early start on New Year’s weekend Thursday, according to a report.




					www.foxnews.com


----------



## Thomas Veil

I’m figuring he’s either on a ventilator somewhere, or on an annual vacation in Cancun with Ted Cruz.


----------



## lizkat

Thomas Veil said:


> ^ WTF??





Hell of a punchline there.   People go to Florida to [*die and*] go to heaven?


----------



## Yoused

JayMysteri0 said:


> Wait.  This just in...
> 
> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1476648237364768789/
> She's still killing it.



Man, with that voice she could give Gilbert Godfried a run for his money doing _The Aristocrats_.


----------



## SuperMatt

Well, Fox finally posted an article, now that the Governor’s office has come up with their official explanation for the absence.

The governor was taking his wife to cancer treatments.

Now, why did his press Secretary say they were on vacation, then backtrack that and say they weren’t on vacation? And then back again, and now claiming “I never said he was on vacation!” WTF? If the story was true, why not announce it ahead of time? “The Governor will be unavailable for the next 2 weeks so he can help his sick wife.” Would anybody have had a problem with that? Of course not.

Pretty incredible it took them 2 weeks to come up with this cover story. Since it was cancer, everybody that was so mean to Ron should feel really guilty!









						Ron DeSantis accompanied wife to cancer treatment while critics claimed he was 'missing'
					

The office of Florida Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis is pushing back against recent criticism that the Sunshine State governor has been “missing” after he made limited appearances amid the rise of COVID-19 cases in the state.




					www.foxnews.com
				




Fox gave no coverage to the story until the Republican governor came up with the cover story? This isn’t a journalistic enterprise. Everybody was talking about it, but Fox completely ignored the story until they got the official talking points from the Republican Party. Just think about that next time you turn on Fox. They are only telling you what the party apparatus wants you to hear.


----------



## Alli

SuperMatt said:


> The governor was taking his wife to cancer treatments.



That takes two weeks?


----------



## SuperMatt

Alli said:


> That takes two weeks?



Exactly… They have been evasive and defensive about this for 2 weeks.


----------



## Yoused

Alli said:


> That takes two weeks?



Depends on the cancer. I believe I had a cousin who was in chemo for more than a month, seems to me it was like several.


----------



## Alli

Yoused said:


> Depends on the cancer. I believe I had a cousin who was in chemo for more than a month, seems to me it was like several.



I know a lot of people who had daily treatments, and some who had them every other day. Mine were 3 weeks apart. The thing is, in any of those scenarios it wouldn’t require him taking off two weeks.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida Man charged with falsifying documents, using COVID relief funds to buy Lamborghini, Rolex; faces 132 years if convicted. Honestly, how does a plan like that fall apart?








						Florida Man Charged with Using COVID Relief Funds to Buy Lamborghini, Rolex
					

According to reports, a South Florida man was arrested after allegedly using COVID-19 relief funds to purchase luxury items such as exotic cars and...




					www.vladtv.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Proposed bill would allow video, audio recording in Florida classrooms​got to make sure they are nto teaching anything like CRT and such.
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (WFLA) — A new bill filed in the Florida Legislature would allow video and audio recordings in school classrooms, forcing teachers to wear microphones and allowing parents to review video of any ‘incidents.’


----------



## lizkat

fooferdoggie said:


> Proposed bill would allow video, audio recording in Florida classrooms​got to make sure they are nto teaching anything like CRT and such.
> TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (WFLA) — A new bill filed in the Florida Legislature would allow video and audio recordings in school classrooms, forcing teachers to wear microphones and allowing parents to review video of any ‘incidents.’




Do those showboating "lawmakers" ever think about cause and effect of their proposed laws on existing conditions in the schools? Or maybe the filing of this bill is just another photo op for the campaign trail.   The teachers union is likely to provide some feedback...


Miami-Dade, Broward schools struggle with acute teacher shortages amid omicron surge



> Of the more than 1,700 teachers who were out Tuesday in Broward, for example, just 31.4% were filled by a substitute, Cartwright said. The other vacancies were filled with school- or district-based personnel who aren’t assigned to a classroom. School-based personnel are officials’ first choice after substitutes, she said.
> 
> In Miami, just 70 individuals who ordinarily are not assigned classroom duties were in the classroom, Carvalho said. “It’s a reasonably small number, which tells me the substitute teacher capacity is actually pretty strong,” he said.
> 
> For United Teachers of Dade President Karla Hernandez-Mats, however, any disruption — be it a substitute or a school official — is concerning. “The shortage is there (and) impacts the quality and caliber of education our children are receiving,” Hernandez-Mats said. “This is certainly something that impacts not just quality of education but quality of life.”


----------



## fooferdoggie

lizkat said:


> Do those showboating "lawmakers" ever think about cause and effect of their proposed laws on existing conditions in the schools? Or maybe the filing of this bill is just another photo op for the campaign trail.   The teachers union is likely to provide some feedback...
> 
> 
> Miami-Dade, Broward schools struggle with acute teacher shortages amid omicron surge



they want to control what kids learn and of course thats fake history.


----------



## lizkat

fooferdoggie said:


> they want to control what kids learn and of course thats fake history.




They should quit carping about CRT "being taught" in public schools.  That in itself is fake NEWS.


----------



## fooferdoggie

lizkat said:


> They should quit carping about CRT "being taught" in public schools.  That in itself is fake NEWS.



I know but it gets the based riled up so its useful.


----------



## lizkat

fooferdoggie said:


> I know but it gets the based riled up so its useful.




Yeah, the GOP deservedly enters a phase of anxiety now about the prospect of having denied too many prospective R-leaning voters an actual vote,  thanks to newly draconian registration, absentee balloting and mail balloting processes.

So much of their presumptive electorate is elderly.  They do like to vote absentee and by mail, and they're probably not going to like belated discovery of very fine print in some of the new bills that move registration deadlines and absentee ballot request deadlines to way earlier than before.​
So what if after all this preparation against nonexistent fraud, the GOP fails to turn out its own vote?    Sort of along lines of anxiety about throwing a bake-sale fundraiser and no one turns up at the event.  Hence all the pot stirring, to keep a very distracted electorate on tap.

The problem with the Rs new voting laws though, is that the GOP may just turn to hoping that _*no one*_ shows up and even if they do, then if the count's not to their liking they mean to wipe it out and declare their guy a winner.

A proposed bill (Georgia, not Florida, although one in Florida wouldn't surprise me) to allow the state's bureau of investigation to launch a voting-results inquiry without a request to do so from local officials is shocking to me.   That it's proposed in Georgia is also surprising since its conservative Republicans and its Libertarians as well are  usually really big against "government intrusion" where they say it doesn't belong.   Wanting a state bureau drop in to audit a county's votes without first being asked by anyone local to do so sounds like a flip-flop there to me. Or it sounds like a move by a party that figures to be running a one-party operation permanently.   Which is also what Florida's lawmaking has sounded like lately, because there's no way they'd tolerate laws like theirs coming off a Democrat's wish list.


----------



## SuperMatt

lizkat said:


> Yeah, the GOP deservedly enters a phase of anxiety now about the prospect of having denied too many prospective R-leaning voters an actual vote,  thanks to newly draconian registration, absentee balloting and mail balloting processes.
> 
> So much of their presumptive electorate is elderly.  They do like to vote absentee and by mail, and they're probably not going to like belated discovery of very fine print in some of the new bills that move registration deadlines and absentee ballot request deadlines to way earlier than before.​
> So what if after all this preparation against nonexistent fraud, the GOP fails to turn out its own vote?    Sort of along lines of anxiety about throwing a bake-sale fundraiser and no one turns up at the event.  Hence all the pot stirring, to keep a very distracted electorate on tap.
> 
> The problem with the Rs new voting laws though, is that the GOP may just turn to hoping that _*no one*_ shows up and even if they do, then if the count's not to their liking they mean to wipe it out and declare their guy a winner.
> 
> A proposed bill (Georgia, not Florida, although one in Florida wouldn't surprise me) to allow the state's bureau of investigation to launch a voting-results inquiry without a request to do so from local officials is shocking to me.   That it's proposed in Georgia is also surprising since its conservative Republicans and its Libertarians as well are  usually really big against "government intrusion" where they say it doesn't belong.   Wanting a state bureau drop in to audit a county's votes without first being asked by anyone local to do so sounds like a flip-flop there to me. Or it sounds like a move by a party that figures to be running a one-party operation permanently.   Which is also what Florida's lawmaking has sounded like lately, because there's no way they'd tolerate laws like theirs coming off a Democrat's wish list.



It seems highly unlikely it could ever happen, but we could really use some reform to our constitution. Here are two essays I enjoyed reading that lay out some ideas for doing so. We should be a nation of the people, by the people, for the people.



> Majorities of the people, not the Electoral College, should be able to pick the president and decide who controls the House and Senate. All who make their lives in the United States — including the incarcerated, people convicted of felonies and noncitizens — should be allowed to vote.












						Opinion | The Republican Party Is Succeeding Because We Are Not a True Democracy
					

What’s often called the crisis of American democracy is  the result not of too much democracy but of too little.




					www.nytimes.com
				



(paywall removed)



> Given demographic trends, power in Washington will likely continue accruing to Republicans even if the right doesn’t undertake further efforts to subvert our elections. And to fix the structural biases at work, Democrats would have to either attempt the impossible task of securing broad, bipartisan support for major new amendments to the Constitution — which, it should be said, essentially bars changes to the Senate’s basic design — or pass a set of system-rebalancing workarounds, such as admitting new states ⁠like the District of Columbia. It should never be forgotten that fully enfranchised voters from around the country gathered to stage a riot over their supposedly threatened political rights last January in a city of 700,000 people who don’t have a full vote in Congress.












						Opinion | Trump Isn’t the Only One to Blame for the Capitol Riot
					

Our institutions, from the Electoral College  to the media, have convinced conservatives that they are denizens of the real America.




					www.nytimes.com
				



(paywall removed)


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida Man disguised himself as a woman in armed robberies, police say, although how he was able to carry away his loot in an outfit with no pockets is unclear








						Man disguised himself as woman in Volusia County armed robberies, deputies say
					

A man dressed as a woman to carry out two robberies was arrested along with another man in Volusia County, according to the sheriff’s office.




					www.clickorlando.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

this guy just thinks he is Florida Man.
 Driving the wrong way on the interstate, stopping and removing your clothes, and then running away is no way to go through life, Iowa man








						CRPD: Wrong-way driver hit multiple vehicles on 380, stripped naked and fled
					

Iowa's News Now is learning new details in a crash that continues to block traffic on I-380 southbound at Exit 23 - 42nd Street to Exit 22 - 32nd Street and Glass Road in Cedar Rapids. Cedar Rapids Police say someone was driving the wrong way in the southbound lanes and tried to split the lane...




					cbs2iowa.com


----------



## Yoused

fooferdoggie said:


> this guy just thinks he is Florida Man.
> Driving the wrong way on the interstate, stopping and removing your clothes, and then running away is no way to go through life, Iowa man
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> CRPD: Wrong-way driver hit multiple vehicles on 380, stripped naked and fled
> 
> 
> Iowa's News Now is learning new details in a crash that continues to block traffic on I-380 southbound at Exit 23 - 42nd Street to Exit 22 - 32nd Street and Glass Road in Cedar Rapids. Cedar Rapids Police say someone was driving the wrong way in the southbound lanes and tried to split the lane...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> cbs2iowa.com





> … that caused the semi to turn over, spilling corn on the interstate …




Oh, come on. A truck full of corn in Iowa? Who is going to believe that?


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> Florida Man disguised himself as a woman in armed robberies, police say, although how he was able to carry away his loot in an outfit with no pockets is unclear
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Man disguised himself as woman in Volusia County armed robberies, deputies say
> 
> 
> A man dressed as a woman to carry out two robberies was arrested along with another man in Volusia County, according to the sheriff’s office.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.clickorlando.com



But did he try to use the women’s bathroom? Now THAT would get people truly outraged.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida Man turned out to be a cop.
Brevard sheriff’s deputy held naked man at gunpoint for hours during armed robbery, report shows​*BREVARD COUNTY, Fla.* – A former Brevard County Sheriff’s Office corrections deputy held a naked man at gunpoint, filmed him for hours, forced him to sign a $30,000 contract, and threatened to send incriminating video to his family and church, an investigative report said.

Amony Robillard, 30, of St. Cloud was arrested Nov. 27 on charges of robbery with a firearm, extortion with a weapon and false imprisonment with a weapon, according to News 6 partner Florida Today.

[TRENDING: Become a News 6 Insider (it’s free!)]

Robbery with a firearm is a first-degree felony punishable by up to life in prison.

Robillard has entered a written plea of not guilty, and he remains jailed without bond in Orange County. A pretrial conference is scheduled for April 26, with a projected May 9 trial date, clerk of courts records show. Robillard’s attorney is Phillip Arroyo of Orlando. Contacted by FLORIDA TODAY, Arroyo said he does not comment on active cases he is handling.








						Brevard sheriff’s deputy held naked man at gunpoint for hours during armed robbery, report shows
					

A former Brevard County Sheriff's Office corrections deputy held a naked man at gunpoint, filmed him for hours, forced him to sign a $30,000 contract, and threatened to send incriminating video to his family and church, an investigative report said.




					www.clickorlando.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida man charged with killing realtor he mistook for landlord who evicted him​The suspect, Raymond Reese, 51, called 911 after the shooting and told a dispatcher that he had shot his former landlord and believed she was dead, according to police.

"Can you send an officer to pick me up, I shot somebody," Reese told the dispatcher, giving his name, birthday and address, according to the arrest warrant.








						Florida man charged with killing realtor he mistook for landlord who evicted him
					

A South Florida real estate agent was shot and killed by a recently-evicted man who mistakenly thought she was his former landlord, authorities said.




					www.fox13news.com


----------



## JayMysteri0

Something to check out if you have the time, about "Florida Man"


----------



## fooferdoggie

well they sure look smug
Florida Women Busted For 3 AM Glitter Attack​








						Florida Women Busted For 3 AM Glitter Attack
					

4/5 UPDATE: Prosecutors will not pursue glitter bombing case JANUARY 11--Two Florida women are each facing a felony burglary charge after allegedly perpetrating a 3 AM glitter attack on a male victi




					www.thesmokinggun.com


----------



## User.45

fooferdoggie said:


> well they sure look smug
> Florida Women Busted For 3 AM Glitter Attack​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Florida Women Busted For 3 AM Glitter Attack
> 
> 
> 4/5 UPDATE: Prosecutors will not pursue glitter bombing case JANUARY 11--Two Florida women are each facing a felony burglary charge after allegedly perpetrating a 3 AM glitter attack on a male victi
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.thesmokinggun.com
> 
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 10966





> A judge has ordered both women to have no contact with Colon.


----------



## Yoused

State Legislative Affairs Director for the State Board of Administration killed while playing with cars and guns.



> … the incident began after Kuczwanski’s BMW drifted out of its lane while heading north on Thomasville Road (and) hit a white Prius.
> 
> Both cars pulled into a parking lot. The driver of the Prius confronted Kuczwanski about hitting him … The Prius’ driver then returned to his car to wait for law enforcement’s arrival after confronting Kuczwanski. That is when … Kuczwanski rammed his BMW into the Prius on the driver’s door, and began pushing the car sideways in the parking lot.
> 
> Kuczwanski then shot a gun at the white Prius … The Prius driver drew a gun and fired back into the windshield of Kuczwanski’s BMW. Kuczwanski was hit and killed … The driver of the Prius then exited their vehicle on the passenger side and took cover not knowing if Kuczwanski was about to fire back.




His widow, naturally, has a slightly different perspective,



> Rebekah Kuczwanski said in a Twitter thread that her husband was a victim while confirming he lost his life. She claimed that he was trapped and “assassinated” and was trying to escape the person shooting at him.




SYG, FTW


----------



## fooferdoggie

the Wild West with cars instead of horses.


----------



## Pumbaa

fooferdoggie said:


> the Wild West with cars instead of horses.



Just way more horsepower nowadays, and better guns.


----------



## fooferdoggie

​Pinellas substitute teacher ousted after repeated use of racial slur​








						Pinellas substitute teacher ousted after repeated use of racial slur
					

She had worked for the district since July.




					www.tampabay.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

florida cop​Cop Seen On Video Grabbing Fellow Officer By Her Throat​








						Cop Seen On Video Grabbing Fellow Officer By Her Throat
					

An officer in Florida tried to deescalate a situation between a suspect and her colleague. That's when Sgt. Christopher Pullease grabbed her by the throat.




					www.huffpost.com


----------



## lizkat

This Florida man has roamed afar and is busted for human smuggling,  across the Canadian border.  Some of his alleged clients froze to death.

Florida man arrested after 4 people, including infant and teenage boy, found dead near U.S.-Canada border



> U.S. authorities said Thursday that they had charged a Florida man with human smuggling after four people, including an infant and a teenage boy, were found dead roughly seven miles from the U.S.-Canada border in the province of Manitoba.
> 
> The U.S. attorney’s office in Minnesota said officers arrested Steve Shand after they stopped his white rental van on Wednesday less than one mile south of the border. He was driving with two undocumented Indian nationals. The 47-year-old made a court appearance in St. Paul, Minn., on Thursday and was ordered to remain in custody.






> The Royal Canadian Mounted Police said they believe that the four people, whose bodies were found near the community of Emerson, Manitoba, on Wednesday, were attempting to cross into the United States from Canada and had died  of exposure to the cold in a blizzard, during which temperatures fell to minus-31 degrees Fahrenheit.
> 
> Shortly after Shand’s arrest, U.S. authorities said they encountered five more Indian nationals who claimed they had crossed the border on foot after walking for roughly 11 hours. They were walking in the direction of where Shand was arrested and said  they were expecting to be picked up by someone in the United States.


----------



## fooferdoggie

lizkat said:


> This Florida man has roamed afar and is busted for human smuggling,  across the Canadian border.  Some of his alleged clients froze to death.



well how would he know about the cold?


----------



## lizkat

fooferdoggie said:


> well how would he know about the cold?




He's gonna know now since they've decided to detain him in Minnesota...  11 below zero tonight up there.


----------



## fooferdoggie

well this person became a florida woman by going there for a vacation.
'Just eat candy.' Teacher left children home alone while she vacationed in Florida with boyfriend, arrest warrant says​








						'Just eat candy.' Teacher left children home alone while she vacationed in Florida with boyfriend, arrest warrant says
					

A teacher arrested for leaving her children home alone in Watertown went on a vacation to Florida with her boyfriend, documents revealed.




					www.wfsb.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida Woman Pleads Guilty To Attempted Hit On Ex's New Spouse Using Bitcoin​








						Florida Woman Pleads Guilty To Attempted Hit On Ex's New Spouse Using Bitcoin | Oxygen Official Site
					

A Florida woman has admitted to trying to hire a hitman with Bitcoin in order to kill her ex's new spouse.




					www.oxygen.com


----------



## Huntn

I know there was a reason I avoided this thread for a  long while.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Man sizzles with anger over improperly cooked bacon
Police: Florida man busted after tantrum about bacon​








						Police: Florida man busted after tantrum about bacon
					

Cape Coral police officers arrested a man at a Waffle House on Wednesday after they received calls about a disturbance.




					www.local10.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida woman sees a angel. 

'What is it?' Jacksonville woman's web cam captures odd light in home​








						'What is it?' Jacksonville woman's web cam captures odd light in home
					

A Jacksonville woman said she installed web cameras in her home because of strange activity. This is what it recorded Monday morning and she can't explain it.




					www.firstcoastnews.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Man reels in body while fishing in Florida lake​2 men fishing in Lake Stella in Polk County find body of 40-year-old man​








						Man reels in body while fishing in Florida lake
					

A man fishing at a lake near downtown Auburndale reeled in the body of a 40-year-old man Monday afternoon, according to the Auburndale Police Department.




					www.clickorlando.com


----------



## Eric

@fooferdoggie moved your last three posts from the COVID thread to this one, seems like maybe that was your original intention.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Eric said:


> @fooferdoggie moved your last three posts from the COVID thread to this one, seems like maybe that was your original intention.



crap I thought I was I the right place. but was trying to eat breakfast at the same time.


----------



## Alli

fooferdoggie said:


> crap I thought I was I the right place. but was trying to eat breakfast at the same time.



Silly man. You know men can’t multitask worth shit.


----------



## Huntn

Alli said:


> Silly man. You know men can’t multitask worth shit.



NOT TRUE!! I can multitask, watch me in the kitchen making dinner!


----------



## fooferdoggie

Alli said:


> Silly man. You know men can’t multitask worth shit.



Hey I was cooking two meals getting al my wife's stuff so she could eat and making a slow cooked dish. but like there is much difference between covid stupid and Florida man.


----------



## Thomas Veil

fooferdoggie said:


> crap I thought I was I the right place. but was trying to eat breakfast at the same time.



So how 'bout that NFL weekend, huh?


----------



## Yoused

Thomas Veil said:


> So how 'bout that NFL weekend, huh?



I think I saw the ghost of big fat Floridaman, cigar in hand (who apparently did not expire from Covid but should have), floating over the Tampa Bay goalposts trying in vain to block that game-ending kick. We miss him so much.

not


----------



## Yoused

He started it, he escalated it and then he damaged his own car trying to make it much worse.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Man Jailed On Ramen Noodle Battery Charge​








						Man Jailed On Ramen Noodle Battery Charge
					

3/30 UPDATE: Smith was sentenced Monday to a year’s probation and ordered to attend a batterers intervention program by a judge who found him guilty of misdemeanor battery. Smith, who spent 49 days i




					thesmokinggun.com


----------



## Huntn

Yoused said:


> He started it, he escalated it and then he damaged his own car trying to make it much worse.



Lock that shit head up, God.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Huntn said:


> Lock that shit head up, God.



pray and spray I think my blind wife would have been a better shot.


----------



## GermanSuplex

Now that Trump is asking why officials aren’t investigating Pence for refusing to overturn the election results, will his cultists and congress lapdogs go along with it, thus admitting that - according to their leader and god Trump - VP Harris has the same power if she doesn’t like the 2024 results?

Trump has given his detractors - and hopefully the justice department, state AGs and the January 6 committee - a lot of gifts this past week.


----------



## GermanSuplex

Not sure where to put it because it’s not all that newsworthy, but Jerry Falwell Jr. did an interview with Vanity Fair where he attributed his relationship with Trump for his downfall, castigates organized religion and admits he himself is not religious.

Between this and Trump shitting on Lindsey Graham, just more proof it’s not a matter of if associating with Trump will come back to screw you, it’s only a matter of when.


----------



## fooferdoggie

GermanSuplex said:


> Not sure where to put it because it’s not all that newsworthy, but Jerry Falwell Jr. did an interview with Vanity Fair where he attributed his relationship with Trump for his downfall, castigates organized religion and admits he himself is not religious.
> 
> Between this and Trump shitting on Lindsey Graham, just more proof it’s not a matter of if associating with Trump will come back to screw you, it’s only a matter of when.



its like leprocy hang around long enough and you get it good. tumpacy the fungus that keeps on spreading.


----------



## fooferdoggie

a lot of stupid this weekend but I only chose the craziest. 
He broke into the home, drank their beer and ate their food. Then left a $200 tip before taking a bath and a nap. This is the kind of thing that can give home invasions a bad name
he sounded good till he tried to carjack a car.
The man, later identified as 34-year-old Teral Christesson, slept, drank beer, ate shrimp, and bathed inside the Santa Fe property last Sunday morning, police said, per The Santa Fe New Mexican. 

When the homeowners returned to the property in the afternoon, the media outlet added, they found Christesson in their house with a duffel bag and an AR-15 scoped rifle.

The homeowners reportedly told police that the suspected burglar was "extremely embarrassed and apologetic" when confronted by them.

Before Christesson vacated the property, the Alberquerque Journal reported that he placed $200 on a living room chair as a "reimbursement for the window he broke."

He then picked up his gun and bag and left, the media outlet said.

The Santa Fe New Mexican reported that police found Christesson on Monday near a fast-food restaurant after responding to a report of a man attempting to hijack a car. In custody, he told investigators he "felt bad" about breaking the window, the media outlet said.








						Intruder armed with an AR-15 rifle apologized and left $200 for homeowners after breaking in to eat shrimp and have a bath, police say
					

The armed intruder was "apologetic" when the homeowners confronted him after he ate shrimp, drank beer, and bathed in their Santa Fe home, reports say.




					www.yahoo.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida man steals car; train sends it crashing into house
PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man says he jumped from a stolen car seconds before it was hit by a train and sent flying into a nearby home. The sleeping residents were unharmed and the man was later arrested, authorities said.

Police said the man claimed he stole the car in a “good faith effort” to search for his own vehicle after leaving a bar early Saturday in Martin County, around 50 miles north of West Palm Beach. Instead, he got stuck on the railroad tracks in the path of an oncoming train.

After the crash, the man tried to steal a forklift from a nearby fruit stand, which he also vandalized, the Martin County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement. He was arrested after flagging down responding deputies “to let them know he was still looking for his car,” the statement said.

The homeowners were fine, but “the explosive sound of a driverless car smashing into the side of their home was clearly jolting,” the sheriff’s office said.








						Florida man steals car; train sends it crashing into house
					

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man says he jumped from a stolen car seconds before it was hit by a train and sent flying into a nearby home. The sleeping residents were unharmed and the man was later arrested, authorities said.




					apnews.com


----------



## SuperMatt

*Sonic the Hedgehog attempts to rob a bank in Florida*


> After attempting to rob the place and escaping on foot authorities searched the area for any sign of the suspect, *but he was apparently too fast* and they found nothing and no arrest has been made yet. DeLand police are continuing to investigate the incident and are asking for folks in the area to report anything they know about the suspect.














						A Man Wearing A Sonic Mask Tried To Rob A Bank In Florida
					

The robber escaped the scene with no cash and luckily no one was injured




					kotaku.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

got to love florida laws
Hollywood resident running car rental business out of home, outraging neighbors​*HOLLYWOOD, Fla.* – Residents of one South Florida street are fuming after a neighbor opened a car rental business at his house.

They say constant car washing, customers coming and going and parking a fleet of vehicles has changed a quiet section of Lincoln Street in Hollywood to the point where some are ready to move.

Local 10 News has learned a new state law actually protects these home-based businesses, and cities have little say.

The rental business offers Teslas for $99 a day and a Corvette for $125. There are SUVs and other vehicles among the fleet, all available for rent.

“Well, there has been a lot of traffic in the area and on the street and I noticed they are washing cars, three or four at a time, on the roadway and at the home,” said resident Tim Flasher.

Neighbors say on any given day, they’ve seen up to eight cars parked in front of the small house, most of them taking up space on the roadway.

For $75 a day you can rent the Grand Cherokee Yosef Rabinovitz was cleaning when Local 10 News’ Jeff Weinsier confronted him about his home based business.








						Hollywood resident running car rental business out of home, outraging neighbors
					

Neighbors say on any given day, they've seen up to eight cars parked in front of the small house, most of them taking up space on the roadway.




					www.local10.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Running around drunk, yelling at restaurant customers while claiming to be Mick Jagger is no way to get satisfaction, baby








						Florida man drunkenly claiming to be Mick Jagger in downtown Naples arrested
					

A Florida man police say declared he was Mick Jagger while drunk in downtown Naples was arrested on Monday. According to the Naples Police Department, Eugene Bingham was disrupting in a number of downtown Naples restaurants including Ocean Prime and Yabba’s. At Ocean Prime, he yelled at a guest...




					www.winknews.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

not sure who would want to be know as Florida Man but here we are.​Florida Man's rejected vanity plates are exactly what you'd expect​


----------



## DT

fooferdoggie said:


> not sure who would want to be know as Florida Man but here we are.​Florida Man's rejected vanity plates are exactly what you'd expect​View attachment 11652




Well yeah, that's way too many characters, I'm thinking:

FLDA MAN


----------



## Yoused

DT said:


> Well yeah, that's way too many characters, I'm thinking:
> 
> FLDA MAN



Just have to leave off the first 4 letters.


----------



## fooferdoggie

leave it to florida.​Need a Valentine’s Day gift? Help Florida police send your ex to jail​








						Need a Valentine’s Day gift? Help Florida police send your ex to jail
					

In a Facebook post Wednesday, the Port Orange Police Department used Valentine’s Day wordplay to encourage people to report ex-partners with outstanding warrants.




					www.clickorlando.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

well she has the best qualifications for Mayor.
Florida Woman running for Mayor of Florida City, but first jail time
Yes, Boynton Beach, this could ne your next Mayor! Cindy Falco DiCorrado, one of four candidates running for Boynton Beach mayor, was convicted Tuesday of two misdemeanor counts resulting from her January 2021 arrest for refusing to leave a suburban Boca Raton Einstein Bagels she entered unmasked!

Falco DiCorrado, 63, will be sentenced on Feb. 28, leaving the possibility she will be in jail for the March 8 election


Watch one of the best meltdowns of 2021!








						Florida Woman Who Had Meltdown Last Year Running For Mayor Of Boynton Beach | Real Radio 92.1 | The Penthouse
					

Yes, Boynton Beach, this could be your next Mayor! Cindy Falco DiCorrado, one of four candidates running for Boynton Beach mayor, was convicted Tuesday of two misdemeanor counts resulting from her January 2021 arrest for refusing to leave a suburban Boca Raton Einstein Bagels she entered unmasked!




					realradio921.iheart.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida school bus driver arrested with alcohol level four times legal limit, 40 kids on board​








						Florida school bus driver arrested with alcohol level four times legal limit, 40 kids on board
					

A Flagler Schools bus driver was arrested, accused of driving drunk while students were on board.




					www.wpbf.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Finally got out of jail after that 3-year term for beating up your amputee grandfather? At last, you're free to live the American dream of shooting your little brother to death
A Florida man has been arrested for allegedly shooting his brother to death amid a history of violence.

Daniel Arthur Redman29 years old, murdered Brenden Ray RedmanAged 19, last month, but the suspect was in the hospital because deputies shot him as he took another person hostage, the Citrus County Sheriff’s Office said Friday.








						Daniel Arthur Redman Killed Brenden Ray Redman: The Representative - 24sSports
					

Daniel Arthur Redman.




					24ssports.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Drunk Florida woman on motorized suitcase leads the most patient airport cop in the world on low-speed chase









						Woman on Motorized Suitcase Sparks Police Chase Inside Florida Airport
					

An airline employee refused to let her board the plane, which triggered the episode.




					www.thedrive.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

finally a good story.

 The highest elevation in Florida might be this teenager's forehead according to Guinness World Records








						15-Year-Old Florida Basketball Player Is The World's Tallest Teenager | WiLD 95.5 | Carmine and Maegan
					

A Bradenton, Florida teenage basketball player is getting some international attention after setting a Guinness World Record for his height.




					wild955.iheart.com


----------



## DT

fooferdoggie said:


> Drunk Florida woman on motorized suitcase leads the most patient airport cop in the world on low-speed chase




I think you've got the wrong article linked, here's one that's about your description:









						Woman on Motorized Suitcase Sparks Police Chase Inside Florida Airport
					

An airline employee refused to let her board the plane, which triggered the episode.




					www.thedrive.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

this quack cracked.
ER doctor charged with battery of patient he thought was 'faking' her condition​According to an arrest affidavit, Nwabuko attempted to confirm suspicions that his patient was faking by grabbing her hand and repeatedly striking her in the face. When the patient didn't respond to that, Nwabuko left the room. He then returned two additional times and used her hand to hit her in the face multiple times. 

During the second time, the victim's IV line was ripped out of her left arm and she bled all over her face and chest area, the affidavit said. She also sustained significant swelling, redness, and bruising to her eye. 








						ER doctor charged with battery of patient he thought was 'faking' her condition
					

An ER doctor at UF Health Leesburg was charged with battery after allegedly striking a patient numerous times with her own hand.



					www.naplesnews.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Police: Man accidentally shoots himself in foot while running away from officer​








						Police: Man accidentally shoots himself in foot while running away from officer
					

A man accidentally shot himself in the foot Tuesday night after running away from a police officer following a traffic stop in Fort Lauderdale, authorities said.




					www.local10.com


----------



## Thomas Veil

fooferdoggie said:


> 15-Year-Old Florida Basketball Player Is The World's Tallest Teenager | WiLD 95.5 | Carmine and Maegan
> 
> 
> A Bradenton, Florida teenage basketball player is getting some international attention after setting a Guinness World Record for his height.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> wild955.iheart.com



Maybe he can help the guy in post 235 find his car.


----------



## Thomas Veil

Florida mom finds toddler locked inside day care after workers left for the day — NBC News
					

"She's super traumatized," the girl's mother said.




					apple.news
				




*Florida mom finds toddler locked inside day care after workers left for the day*



> Stephanie Martinez arrived at the KinderCare Learning Center north of Miami at 6:28 p.m. Wednesday and saw the child through a window on the front door, according to a Plantation Police Department incident report.





> In a video of a 911 call Martinez shared with NBC Miami, the room appears dark and Martinez can be heard telling a dispatcher that she could see her daughter crying.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida man jumped on woman’s SUV with a gun on I-75, tried to steal 18-wheeler, FHP says​


Thomas Veil said:


> Florida mom finds toddler locked inside day care after workers left for the day — NBC News
> 
> 
> "She's super traumatized," the girl's mother said.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> apple.news
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Florida mom finds toddler locked inside day care after workers left for the day*



Saw that debated posting it but it was not really one crazy Florida person.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida man dies after being run over by street sweeper he drove​








						Florida man dies after being run over by street sweeper he drove
					

The man was not wearing a seat belt when he was ejected from the street sweeper.




					www.wftv.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Murder your dad in florida? no problem a slap on the wrist ofd your a doctor.
Weston Doctor Avoids Prison in 2018 Fatal Shooting of Father​








						Weston Doctor Avoids Prison in 2018 Fatal Shooting of Father
					

A Weston doctor who shot and killed his father in 2018 in what authorities said was a murder-suicide attempt will avoid prison time after agreeing to a plea deal Friday. Dr. Rafael Azulay had been charged with second-degree murder in the May 12, 2018 shooting of his father, 67-year-old Asher...




					www.nbcmiami.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida Man arrested for mistaking True Value store as his personal sex toy boutique








						Florida man accused of stealing crossbow by stuffing it down his pants
					

Brevard County Sheriff Wayne Ivey posted surveillance video to Facebook Tuesday night showing a man who he said attempted to steal a crossbow on Feb. 6 by shoving it into his pants and walking away on a crutch.




					www.clickorlando.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

In the latest edition of "Just Another Day In Florida," a crocodilian breaks the window of a van out while it's transporting gators and escapes in St. Augustine








						WATCH: Florida Crocodilian Breaks Out Of Zoo's Van While It's Driving | WiLD 95.5 | Carmine and Maegan
					

A zoo in Florida shared a video of a crocodilian attempting to escape by breaking through the back window of a van during transport and attempting to flee down the road.




					wild955.iheart.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida woman in a gently no less.
One dead, six more sent to hospital after attempted parallel parking attack








						1 Dead, 6 Injured After Car Crashes Into Sidewalk Cafe at Miami Beach Restaurant
					

One person died and several others were hospitalized after a driver accelerated into the outdoor dining area of a restaurant Thursday night in Miami Beach, police said.




					www.nbcmiami.com


----------



## Yoused

Florida Congresscritter Gary Stuebe iambastes the President because it cost him $167 to fill up his truck. It does not go over well, as twitter points out to him that 99% of vehicles on the road these day cannot hold even half of that 43 gallons.


----------



## MarkusL

Yoused said:


> Florida Congresscritter Gary Stuebe iambastes the President because it cost him $167 to fill up his truck. It does not go over well, as twitter points out to him that 99% of vehicles on the road these day cannot hold even half of that 43 gallons.



I think he needs a truck like that to haul his enormous penis.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida Man smashes a beer bottle over his own head and still gets shot by the cops. Florida Man can't win even when he fights himself
Fleeing Florida man breaks beer bottle over head, deputy fires back thinking it was gunshot​








						Fleeing Florida man breaks beer bottle over head, deputy fires back thinking it was gunshot
					

Officials say a man suspected in a series of central Florida crimes broke a beer bottle over his head and was shot by a sheriff’s deputy who thought the sound was a gunshot.




					www.news4jax.com


----------



## Yoused

MarkusL said:


> I think he needs a truck like that to haul his enormous penis.



or perhaps to haul his enormous … _imagination_


----------



## SuperMatt

Florida Man: The Motion Picture


----------



## Thomas Veil

And people move _*to*_ this state????


----------



## Edd

Thomas Veil said:


> And people move _*to*_ this state????



It is fucking baffling.


----------



## SuperMatt

Thomas Veil said:


> And people move _*to*_ this state????



The interview with the liquor store owner who explains how most of his customers lost their drivers’ licenses and end up dead from alcoholism… just wow.


----------



## DT

Thomas Veil said:


> And people move _*to*_ this state????




Yes, in fact, our neighbor is from Ohio


----------



## Thomas Veil

I used to think moving south was an attractive idea. Not so much anymore. _Especially_ Florida, or Texas.

Ohio is experiencing red rot too, but still not to the same degree.


----------



## DT

Thomas Veil said:


> I used to think moving south was an attractive idea. Not so much anymore. _Especially_ Florida, or Texas.




Seriously though, I think quite a few folks are apolitical, especially if they're upper-middle class, white, there's nothing about the politics of Flori-Duh that affects them directly (which would be my ILs that have a place down here).

So that removed as a blocker, you wind up with good weather,  terrific boating, fishing, surfing - lots of rivers, lakes and springs, camping, biking - a pretty solid intrastate infrastructure, with easy access to airports, quick flights to several islands - theme parks, golf, motorsports, lots of college sports  - moderate COL (obv some areas are very high).


----------



## Yoused

DT said:


> good weather



We were in Florida in March a couple times, and the weather, while fair most of the time, was not what I, personally, would call "good". It was mild but already starting to thicken up. I shudder to imagine what it must be like in May, or in August when you are just waiting for the next hurricane. If I had to endure a Florida summer, I would have to go around wearing just a thong all the time, and you _do not want to see that_.


----------



## fooferdoggie

this is a first. florida kindergartner trying to be Florida Man.
Florida teacher beaten and hospitalized after attack by 5-year-old student, police say








						Florida teacher beaten and hospitalized after attack by 5-year-old student, police say
					

The victim could "blink and breathe regularly" but was not able to "vocally respond" following beating at Pines Lakes Elementary School in Pembroke Pines.




					www.nbcnews.com


----------



## Runs For Fun

Lol








						Drug-addled Florida man arrested after chasing ghosts with a machete
					

Who you gonna call? Not this guy.




					www.nydailynews.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Now this is a new one.

Florida Woman Busted For DUI After Huffing Deodorant​A Florida woman is facing DUI charges after deputies found her with a car full of deodorant spray.

The Martin County Sheriff's Office says 31-year-old Katherine Theodore huffed multiple cans of the deodorant before getting behind the wheel on Sunday.


Deputies pulled her over and noticed a stack of empty Right Guard deodorant spray cans in her car. The sheriff's office said she also appeared impaired. and that a strong scent of the spray was in her car.

According to the sheriff's office, Theodore initially said she sprayed the deodorant because she liked the smell of it. She later admitted she drank alcohol earlier in the day, and then huffed the deodorant while driving her car.

Don't huff and drive people!!








						Florida Woman Busted For DUI After Huffing Deodorant  | Real Radio 92.1 | The Penthouse
					

A Florida woman is facing DUI charges after deputies found her with a car full of deodorant spray.




					realradio921.iheart.com


----------



## Thomas Veil

Well, that’s a different take on smelling your armpits…


----------



## fooferdoggie

meanwhile florida gator is eating Florida Man.
Investigators identify human remains found in gator's mouth at Hungryland Preserve​








						Investigators identify human remains found in gator's mouth at Hungryland Preserve
					

The remains belong to Dustin Davis Mills, 42, Martin County Sheriff's Office says.




					www.wpbf.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

] By the time you're 80, you have to look hard to find someone older to exploit
Deputies: 80-year-old man stole $300,000 from 88-year-old victim​








						Deputies: 80-year-old man stole $300,000 from 88-year-old victim
					

An 80-year-old Pinellas County man is facing charges for allegedly exploiting an 88-year-old man in a business deal.




					www.local10.com


----------



## Thomas Veil

fooferdoggie said:


> meanwhile florida gator is eating Florida Man.
> Investigators identify human remains found in gator's mouth at Hungryland Preserve​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Investigators identify human remains found in gator's mouth at Hungryland Preserve
> 
> 
> The remains belong to Dustin Davis Mills, 42, Martin County Sheriff's Office says.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.wpbf.com



Ew. Reminds me of...





"I am not going to stand here and let you cut that thing open and watch that Kittner boy spill out all over the dock!"​


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida man calls 911 to have meth tested for authenticity, deputies say​Deputies say Colucci told them that he is an experienced drug user who's used methamphetamine in the past and knew what it should feel like. When it didn’t produce the expected sensation, he decided to call authorities. Colucci then produced two small baggies, each containing a white crystal-like substance, and handed them over to the deputy.

Colucci told deputies he wanted his methamphetamine tested because he did not want other people to purchase "fake" methamphetamine from the person who sold it to him.  He wanted deputies to "put the person in trouble" for selling dangerous drugs. However, he was unable to provide a name or any contact info for this individual.


As requested, a deputy performed a field test on a sample of the white crystal-like substance from each of the baggies and both baggies tested positive for methamphetamine, according to HCSO.

Deputies arrested Colucci, who said he was having chest pains after being placed in the back of a patrol vehicle. 

After being cleared by a physician at an area hospital Colucci was taken to the Hernando County Detention Center. 

He has been charged with possession of methamphetamine and possession of drug paraphernalia.








						Florida man calls 911 to have meth tested for authenticity, deputies say
					

A Spring Hill man is accused of calling 911 to have the methamphetamine he recently purchased from a man he met at an area bar tested because he believed it was really bath salts.




					www.fox13news.com


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> Florida man calls 911 to have meth tested for authenticity, deputies say​Deputies say Colucci told them that he is an experienced drug user who's used methamphetamine in the past and knew what it should feel like. When it didn’t produce the expected sensation, he decided to call authorities. Colucci then produced two small baggies, each containing a white crystal-like substance, and handed them over to the deputy.
> 
> Colucci told deputies he wanted his methamphetamine tested because he did not want other people to purchase "fake" methamphetamine from the person who sold it to him.  He wanted deputies to "put the person in trouble" for selling dangerous drugs. However, he was unable to provide a name or any contact info for this individual.
> 
> 
> As requested, a deputy performed a field test on a sample of the white crystal-like substance from each of the baggies and both baggies tested positive for methamphetamine, according to HCSO.
> 
> Deputies arrested Colucci, who said he was having chest pains after being placed in the back of a patrol vehicle.
> 
> After being cleared by a physician at an area hospital Colucci was taken to the Hernando County Detention Center.
> 
> He has been charged with possession of methamphetamine and possession of drug paraphernalia.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Florida man calls 911 to have meth tested for authenticity, deputies say
> 
> 
> A Spring Hill man is accused of calling 911 to have the methamphetamine he recently purchased from a man he met at an area bar tested because he believed it was really bath salts.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.fox13news.com



That was very nice of them to come out so quickly and test it for free!


----------



## lizkat

Honestly I have had to resort to reading short story collections about Florida to regain some perspective on Floridians.    The "Florida man" meme, after it was adopted by some media outlets as a surefire way to attract clicks,  has managed among other things to becloud the fact that there are people "just like" the thoroughly stereotyped Florida persona all over these United States,  and in the rest of the world as well.

 It's just that other countries don't tend to celebrate this particular kind of stereotype  so insistently in what passes for journalism.  Instead, people who are "the Florida man"  (or woman, and not necessarily from Florida at all)  do pop up as individual characters and are presented with more depth,  in novels, novellas or nonfictional profiles / essays.    And as individuals, they can be fascinating.

Meanwhile as far as "Florida man" journalism goes,  the once-touted firewall between the editorial and marketing sides of media outlets seems to have collapsed all over the USA.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida crab
 Crabs take over Florida beach. Well it IS spring break








						Dozens of horseshoe crabs take over Florida beach
					

Dozens of horseshoe crabs took over a Florida beach just in time for spring break, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.




					www.wfla.com


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> Florida crab
> Crabs take over Florida beach. Well it IS spring break
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dozens of horseshoe crabs take over Florida beach
> 
> 
> Dozens of horseshoe crabs took over a Florida beach just in time for spring break, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.wfla.com



Horseshoes are good luck!


----------



## fooferdoggie

this kid will not be Florida Man​Cops: Boy, 9, Dimed Mother Out For Drunk Driving​








						Cops: Boy, 9, Dimed Mother Out For Drunk Driving
					

MARCH 21--A drunk driving suspect who told Florida cops she had not consumed alcohol was contradicted by her own nine-year-old son, who declared from the car’s back seat, “Mom, you can’t lie to the




					www.thesmokinggun.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Guy in Florida broke into a large music store by climbing through a window near the roof, then fell 3 stories into a guitar display. He used an amp to break the front door and escape, but left blood everywhere which cops matched to his DNA









						Clearwater man survives 3-story fall in Sam Ash Music store burglary
					

Police said the suspect broke into the building from a window near the roof and lost his balance while walking a ledge inside the building.




					www.tampabay.com


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> Guy in Florida broke into a large music store by climbing through a window near the roof, then fell 3 stories into a guitar display. He used an amp to break the front door and escape, but left blood everywhere which cops matched to his DNA
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Clearwater man survives 3-story fall in Sam Ash Music store burglary
> 
> 
> Police said the suspect broke into the building from a window near the roof and lost his balance while walking a ledge inside the building.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.tampabay.com



His prison nickname will be “Lucky.”


----------



## fooferdoggie

dad Stay out of my box.
 Dad opens daughter's Amazon package. Discovers sex toy inside. Jailarity ensues








						Cops: Daughter Battered Dad In Sex Toy Dispute
					

APRIL 7--The delivery yesterday of an Amazon package containing a sex toy triggered a domestic confrontation that resulted in the arrest of an 18-year-old Floridian for allegedly battering her fathe




					www.thesmokinggun.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

A cat fight with a real cat.
St. Pete woman accused of using cat to batter girlfriend​








						St. Pete woman accused of using cat to batter girlfriend
					

A St. Petersburg woman landed behind bars after she allegedly scratched her girlfriend in the face with the couple’s cat.




					www.wfla.com


----------



## Yoused

fooferdoggie said:


> dad Stay out of my box.
> Dad opens daughter's Amazon package. Discovers sex toy inside. Jailarity ensues
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Cops: Daughter Battered Dad In Sex Toy Dispute
> 
> 
> APRIL 7--The delivery yesterday of an Amazon package containing a sex toy triggered a domestic confrontation that resulted in the arrest of an 18-year-old Floridian for allegedly battering her fathe
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.thesmokinggun.com




Sorry, no, you do not open someone else's packages. This is all on him.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Yoused said:


> Sorry, no, you do not open someone else's packages. This is all on him.



for sure.


----------



## fooferdoggie

Florida babysitter put child in dryer, spun him around, deputies say​








						Florida babysitter put child in dryer, spun him around, deputies say
					

The boy told investigators that Amber Chapman put him in a dryer, closed the door and he “went around and round," according to the arrest affidavit.




					www.fox13news.com


----------



## Edd

fooferdoggie said:


> Florida babysitter put child in dryer, spun him around, deputies say​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Florida babysitter put child in dryer, spun him around, deputies say
> 
> 
> The boy told investigators that Amber Chapman put him in a dryer, closed the door and he “went around and round," according to the arrest affidavit.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.fox13news.com



Pretty irresponsible. Dryers aren’t built for that.


----------



## fooferdoggie

lucky there were towels in there or he could have ben far worse including burns.


----------



## fooferdoggie

​can't even imagine how mind numbing this would be.​Florida Man Holds Pee Long Enough To Break World Record Watching ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’​He previously broke the record for “most cinema productions attended of the same film” in 2019, after watching “Avengers: Endgame” 191 times. However, in 2021, Arnaud Kleinoverturned Alanis’ achievement by watching “Kaamelott: First Installment” 204 times, according to a news release from Guinness World Records.
The determined Florida man had to endure 720 hours (30 days) watching “No Way Home” between December 16, 2021 and March 15, 2022 to secure the crown. 
To achieve this, Alanis sat through five back-to-back screenings each day during the first few weeks of his record attempt. The most impressive part was he completed the record while balancing family and work obligations.








						Florida Man Holds Pee Long Enough To Break World Record Watching ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’
					

Ramiro Alanis estimates he spent around $3,400 on tickets to set the record.




					www.huffpost.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Woman dumped bucket of urine on neighbor because his chicken was pooping on her back patio at Florida mobile home park








						Victim Doused With Urine Due To Pooping Chicken
					

MAY 10--Angered that a neighbor’s chicken had been “pooping on the back patio,” a Florida Woman allegedly retrieved “a bucket of pee from her bathroom” and proceeded to douse the bird’s owner with th




					www.thesmokinggun.com


----------



## SuperMatt

fooferdoggie said:


> Woman dumped bucket of urine on neighbor because his chicken was pooping on her back patio at Florida mobile home park
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Victim Doused With Urine Due To Pooping Chicken
> 
> 
> MAY 10--Angered that a neighbor’s chicken had been “pooping on the back patio,” a Florida Woman allegedly retrieved “a bucket of pee from her bathroom” and proceeded to douse the bird’s owner with th
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.thesmokinggun.com



She had a bucket of pee at the ready. Florida!


----------



## fooferdoggie

Whacking off? That's a whacking








						Wife Beat Hubby Over Porn Pleasure Session
					

MAY 16--A Florida Woman is facing felony charges for allegedly beating her husband with a belt after she “caught him watching pornography on his cell phone and masturbating,” according to police. Ang




					thesmokinggun.com


----------



## fooferdoggie

Pinellas beaches man created fake Trump pardon to try to escape charges, feds say​








						Pinellas beaches man created fake Trump pardon to try to escape charges, feds say
					

One published report says his company tried to take over properties that had belonged to Jeffrey Epstein.




					www.tampabay.com


----------



## SuperMatt

https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1532578321262907395/


----------



## Yoused

SuperMatt said:


> https://www.twitter.com/i/web/status/1532578321262907395/



This is the best-written article on that story, including "… only one package was damaged in the collision."


----------



## Yoused

Hey, what could be wrong with letting the lad walk the dog?









						Police: Florida toddler in diaper walks pit bull alone; mom charged with neglect
					

iIt was not the first time the 18-month-old boy was found walking the family pet without supervision.




					www.wedr.com
				




um
oh


----------



## Yoused

Executroid Ernesto Cruz Graveran was picked up just south of Key West, on a stocked and laden _Jet Ski_. He is currently awaiting trial for $4M in healthcare fraud, in custody after being deemed a flight risk.









						Florida Exec Wanted for Fraud Is Nabbed on a Jet Ski Bound for Cuba
					

The jet ski was found fully loaded with enough fuel, water, and food to last the trip, the feds said.



					www.thedailybeast.com


----------



## Yoused

Florida Man Arrested After Faking To Be Cop To Get A Discount On His Burgers At Wendy's
					

Jesse Stover, 57 (not a cop), and Wendy, Dave's Daughter This is one way to get on the Florida man list and land behind bars. A 57-year-old Florida man




					www.tampafp.com


----------



## SuperMatt

I wonder what this week’s sermon will be about?









						Florida pastor charged with performing sex act on himself on Starbucks patio
					

OSCEOLA COUNTY, Fla. -- Deputies say a Florida pastor exposed himself and peformed a.




					weartv.com


----------



## Roller

SuperMatt said:


> I wonder what this week’s sermon will be about?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Florida pastor charged with performing sex act on himself on Starbucks patio
> 
> 
> OSCEOLA COUNTY, Fla. -- Deputies say a Florida pastor exposed himself and peformed a.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> weartv.com



Well, to be fair to the guy, somebody had just told him to F himself.


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## Yoused

SuperMatt said:


> I wonder what this week’s sermon will be about?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Florida pastor charged with performing sex act on himself on Starbucks patio
> 
> 
> OSCEOLA COUNTY, Fla. -- Deputies say a Florida pastor exposed himself and peformed a.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> weartv.com



"_My latte was not light enough_."


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## fooferdoggie

Yoused said:


> "_My latte was not light enough_."



I am sure it will be about how people should stay away from coffie or starbucks.


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## Eric

Time for something a little more wholesome, from a FLA farm. Emmanuel doesn't give AF.


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## DT

Hahahaha ...

"Emmanuel don't do it, don't ... don't ... OK fine, just do it."


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## Eric

__
		https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/w0l27u


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## SuperMatt

Eric said:


> __
> https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/w0l27u



That’s a sound sleeper…


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## fooferdoggie

this is a first

Florida man arrested on DUI charge after driving scooter into Walmart shelves, police say​








						Florida man arrested on DUI charge after driving scooter into Walmart shelves, police say
					

Melbourne police make an arrest under strange circumstances.




					www.clickorlando.com


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## SuperMatt

*Florida Man steals truck to warn Space Force about war between space aliens and Chinese dragons









						Florida man drives to Space Force base to ‘warn the government’ about ‘US aliens fighting with Chinese dragons’
					

A Florida man has been arrested for attempting to break into the Patrick Space Force Base using a stolen truck to warn the U.S. government of a war between aliens and Chinese dragons.  Corey Johnson, 29, of Ocala, Florida, was arrested on Friday.  Florida Man drives stolen truck to Space Force...




					news.yahoo.com
				



*


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## MEJHarrison

SuperMatt said:


> *Florida Man steals truck to warn Space Force about war between space aliens and Chinese dragons*




I want to live in that dude's universe.  I'd watch that war on Pay-Per-View!


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## fooferdoggie

Florida man gets in DUI crash at 7 a.m., then bails out of jail and tries to break into three vehicles on the jail grounds








						Man released from Pinellas jail tried breaking into 3 sheriff’s office vehicles on grounds
					

He had previously been arrested on a drunken driving charge after rear-ending a car on Ulmerton Road.




					www.tampabay.com


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## lizkat

fooferdoggie said:


> Florida man gets in DUI crash at 7 a.m., then bails out of jail and tries to break into three vehicles on the jail grounds
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Man released from Pinellas jail tried breaking into 3 sheriff’s office vehicles on grounds
> 
> 
> He had previously been arrested on a drunken driving charge after rear-ending a car on Ulmerton Road.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.tampabay.com




How does a guy so stoned, stupid or hung over round up $500 bail,then another $15,000 bail same day?!


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## fooferdoggie

"Florida man arrested for calling sex worker on his honeymoon"








						Florida man arrested for calling sex worker on his honeymoon
					

Paul Turovsky, 34, left his new bride sleeping in their hotel room in Tampa and went out to meet a prostitute he had connected with online.




					nypost.com


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## Yoused

Florida woman









						Florida Christian school teacher arrested after "twerking" on student
					

A former Florida Christian school teacher has been arrested for multiple incidents, including twerking on an underaged student.




					nbc-2.com
				




Point of Grace Christian School knows how to pick them.


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## Edd

fooferdoggie said:


> "Florida man arrested for calling sex worker on his honeymoon"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Florida man arrested for calling sex worker on his honeymoon
> 
> 
> Paul Turovsky, 34, left his new bride sleeping in their hotel room in Tampa and went out to meet a prostitute he had connected with online.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> nypost.com



Honeymoon in Tampa….ok.


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## fooferdoggie

Driveway shooting without a car only in Florida.
Police release image of suspect they say opened fire on Lauderhill Rescue truck​








						Police release image of suspect they say opened fire on Lauderhill Rescue truck
					

Authorities released new information on Saturday in regard to someone shooting at a Lauderhill Rescue Truck.




					www.local10.com


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## fooferdoggie

Floridians whose homes and businesses were destroyed during Hurricane Ian are adamant about rebuilding the communities that were destroyed during Hurricane Ian.

Images out of some of the hardest hit regions like Sanibel Island and Fort Myers Beach show entire neighborhoods reduced to rubble after menacing storm surge and Category 4 hurricane force winds ripped through southwest Florida on Oct. 28.

​
Despite threats exacerbated by climate change, such as rising sea levels and the threat of more intense storm systems, and the challenges presented by the sheer level of devastation, residents are vowing to bring these coastal communities back to their former glory.

"There's no doubt that the rebuilding efforts, the reconstruction efforts, after Hurricane Ian, are going to be very challenging, and they're going to take longer than they ordinarily would," Matthew Harrell, CEO of Franklin Street, a commercial real estate company that specializes in Southwest Florida, told ABC News.


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## fooferdoggie

Hard to get more Florida than this. 

‘Two Crazy Drivers with a Gun’: Florida Men Allegedly Shot Each Other’s Daughters During Road Rage Incident​








						'Two Crazy Drivers with a Gun': Florida Men Allegedly Shot Each Other's Daughters During Road Rage Incident
					

Two fathers in Florida were arrested following a road rage incident during which each man allegedly shot the other's young daughter.




					lawandcrime.com


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## Renzatic

WELCOME TO AMERICA! GET THE FUCK OUT!


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## lizkat

fooferdoggie said:


> Hard to get more Florida than this.
> 
> ‘Two Crazy Drivers with a Gun’: Florida Men Allegedly Shot Each Other’s Daughters During Road Rage Incident​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 'Two Crazy Drivers with a Gun': Florida Men Allegedly Shot Each Other's Daughters During Road Rage Incident
> 
> 
> Two fathers in Florida were arrested following a road rage incident during which each man allegedly shot the other's young daughter.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lawandcrime.com




Meanwhile courts are blocking parts of NY's latest attempt to restore some control over permitting and carry of guns in places like NYC proper, which has experienced a 54% spike in permit applications for concealed carry since a SCOTUS ruling in June had struck down a city law that had been enforced since 1913.









						Federal judge temporarily blocks parts of New York gun law | CNN Politics
					

A federal judge has temporarily blocked the enforcement of parts of a New York gun law that was enacted in the wake of a Supreme Court decision earlier this summer striking down certain protections.




					www.cnn.com
				




Imagine these two Florida guys transformed into two characters in a NY subway car as it rattles along the tracks from lower Manhattan to the Bronx. 

It's bad enough we've already seen some recent shootings in the trains in the city.  Not sure that filling those train cars with self-described self-defenders (or self-designated keepers fo the peace??)  is the way to go. 

In the wayback of city history when I lived there,  people eventually decided the Bernie Goetz model of vigilante style law'n'order in the trains was not what we wanted. The risk of high levels of human "collateral damage" was obvious.  That there are now more illegal guns in the city does not lessen that risk.

And so how does bumping up the total gun count including newly legal concealed carry in places like the trains or Times Square help?   I mean it's not like these two guys in Florida had previously described themselves as road rage warriors hell bent on avenging insults and the likes of pop bottles hurled by their respective passengers at each other.  Surely they were originally just running an errand or coming back from dining out...

The challenge to the NY laws were brought by some upstate residents with support of groups that regard themselves sometimes as competitors of the NRA, and with at least the tacit support of some sheriffs who have indicated that enforcing the newer restrictions (where applicable) in their jurisdiction is a distinctly low priority. 

But see this is why NYC's 1913 law had well served the public.  It was crafted to apply to NYC where population density had always made it more dangerous for civilians to whip out a gun to settle a difference.  I still think SCOTUS erred in not leaving well enough alone.  The city is different to the countryside.  Striking down laws meant to deter gun violence in cities is plain foolish, and the 2A clearly allows for some regulation.

 Yes there are illegal guns out there and yes people get shot in the streets, just ask Philadelphia.  There is NOTHING to say that adding more concealed carry to that mix can affect such behavior constructively.    We need enforcement of existing laws seeking to mitigate effect of lax laws in neighboring states, enforcement of laws against selling finished 3D printed guns, enforcement of background check requirements and closing up loopholes that still let unvetted transactions take place. 

And we need above all more engagement of citizens with city government to provide healthy outlets for young men in particular to engage in safe and social activities -  yeah, basketball, boxing, chess matches, robot construction teams, photography clubs, hiking clubs, debate clubs,  learning how to make friends and argue without coming to blows.

We don't need more law abiding guys carrying concealed guns and assuming they'd never ever flip their status from law abiding to felon in the blink of an eye on a moving subway car full of innocent bystanders. 

What, do we think we have no "Florida man" prototype among us in the cities of the Northeast?  Maybe run a search engine on the likes of 'fight breaks out on city train'...   now add a couple concealed carry and go figure if it would have helped.  Florida man is potentially everyman in the heat of an unexpected moment.


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## Yoused

Florida car rental employees discover toddler left in returned vehicle
					

Employees at a Hertz car rental lot at Daytona Beach International Airport found a toddler in the back seat of a returned vehicle Monday.




					nbc-2.com
				




_A call then came in from the toddler’s mother, who had just learned the toddler’s grandfather left her in the rental car, *not at his home*, as he’d told her, according to VCSO._​
Yeah, you leave a 2-year-old at home? _Alone?_


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## Yoused

"Better dead than maimed":

Ron Smith fought to have Florida's motorcycle helmet law repealed and finally succeeded a couple decades ago. Back in August, while on an American Legion Post 173 ride, he was unable to stop for traffic without laying the bike down. He did not get up.

The ME report listed head trauma as his final experience. But at least he is not suffering. How lucky he was to have been bare-headed.


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## fooferdoggie

Clearwater PD: Florida man had sex with dog in front of people; damaged church property, mailbox​








						Clearwater PD: Florida man had sex with dog in front of people; damaged church property, mailbox
					

An Orlando man was in Clearwater where he had sex with a goldendoodle in front of adults and a child, damaged a nativity display at a nearby church, and tried to steal a vehicle, police said.




					www.fox13news.com


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## Yoused

I thought everyone knew by now that that is always part of walking the dog.

In Florida anyway.


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