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Years ago, I wrote a PathFinder plug-in called FolderMerge that let you copy files from one folder to another, replacing files with the same name, or not, based on mod date. It also had a sync function that made both folders match, based on mod date. I never tried it with tens of thousands of files, but it probably could have handled it. It was in the oughts that I last touched it, the coding technique was all kinds of weird, and I later discovered an operational flaw that would not really affect a basic sync, even a large one. You would have had to do it kind of manualistically, though.