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As always, objects are sorted by orifice, working south:

Ear

• COFFEE GROUNDS
• RUBBER BANDS
• SEVERAL HAIR BANDS
• “PATIENT’S SIBLINGS PUT A PIECE OF PAPER IN PATIENT’S RIGHT EAR TRYING TO SHOW HIM A MAGIC TRICK”
• LOLLIPOP
• TOY SWORD
• “TAKES SHOWER WITH EARPLUGS IN EARS IN ATTEMPT TO PREVENT WATER FROM GOING IN & NOW EARPLUG IS STUCK IN LEFT EAR”
• BOBBY PIN
• HAIRPIN
• HAIR TRIMMER ATTACHMENT
• “FOUND A BEAD AND PLACED IT IN HIS EAR SO HE WOULDN’T LOSE IT”
• TOY DINOSAUR
• TWEEZERS
• FIBERGLASS
• “CAR WAS REAR-ENDED AND HE HIT HIS HEAD ON THE BACK OF THE FRONT SEAT, C/O HEADACHES SINCE, ALSO PUT A PIECE OF PAPER IN HIS RIGHT EAR 1 MONTH AGO”
• TOOTH
• COMB TOOTH
• DOG TOOTH
• “WAS SLEEPING WHEN HER 4 YO CHILD BROKE WOODEN TIP OF A PAINT BRUSH AND PUT IT IN HER EAR”
• PEN CAP
• MARKER TIP
• NAIL
• “WAS EXPERIENCING PAIN IN EAR SO ROLLED UP PIECES OF PAPER TO PUT INSIDE IT. CHANGED THEM OUT A FEW TIMES WHEN THE LAST ONE BECAME STUCK IN EAR”
• PEARL
• PIECE OF WICKER CLOTHES HAMPER
• “PUT A CRAYON IN EACH EAR IN SCHOOL. CRAYON REMOVED FROM RIGHT EAR BUT NOT FROM LEFT”
• NECKLACE
• BRACELET
• RECEIPT
• CLAY
• “HAD EARBUDS IN HIS EARS UNDER HIS SNOWMOBILE HELMET HIT A WATER BAR AND HIS HELMET PUSHED HIS EAR BUDS DEEP INTO HIS EAR”
• PLASTIC MAGIC WAND
• CANDLE WAX
• BLUE SLIME
• “PLACED BBS IN EAR BUDS AND FORGOT THERE WERE IN THERE. STUCK THE EAR BUDS ON AND NOW HAS 2 BBS LODGED IN EAR”
• SODA CAN TAB
• PLASTIC SPOON
• “FELT LIKE SOMETHING THERE. BURNING SENSATION, FLUSHED THE EAR AND A WORM FLUSHED OUT”
• AIRSOFT PELLET, PIECE OF PURPLE CRAYON, SMALL ROCK (ALL SAME PATIENT)

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