West Sparta Church of Christ ostracizing one of its members for not showing up

[Eric]

Radicals.

 

[Chew Toy McCoy]

Sometimes it’s a good idea to apply the “cancel anytime!” option to every aspect of your life and see what they do to get your business back. In this case I’d give them an F on getting their business back.

 

[Herdfan]

It didn't me long as a teenager to realize that when you miss church that seemingly nice little old lady that comes up and says "We missed you last week" isn't saying they missed you. Instead it translates to "We know your backsliding ass was out doing something else. We noticed and do not approve."

 

[fooferdoggie]

they should have just included a prepaid envelope and asked for a donation and be done with it. maybe several so its a weekly thing

 

[rdrr]

This is actually a pretty big deal. As a former member of a Church of Christ, I can attest to how this letter is suppose to make you feel. They control every aspect of your life, from the people you live with, socialize with, and to whom you date. Your time is monopolized by church events, from Sunday service, to bible studies, and church gathering for pre-teens, teens, singles, and married adults. Eventually everyone you care for, and have a relationship with is a church member. Some members have gone as far as estranging themselves from their real family members.

The lifestyle members find themselves becomes addictive. Notes like these are a threat to upend your life, and put a fear in you that now you will be alone. Believe me this person will be better, but when you first break from "the church" whether it's your idea or the other way around (because of your sin), there is a lot of anxiety and fear that people go through.

I always feel for people who are about to make this change. I went through years of being convinced I was going to have an eternity of pain in hell. Still might have that in store for me, but that is the mindset they drill into your head. That without the church you cannot have a relationship with god, and you WILL be punished for eternity.

Edit: And the term that I was taught on what this letter is threatening. Is being "disfellowshipped". No member can even talk with you, without the consent of the Church Leadership, typically an Elder.

 

[Eric]

This is actually a pretty big deal. As a former member of a Church of Christ, I can attest to how this letter is suppose to make you feel. They control every aspect of your life, from the people you live with, socialize with, and to whom you date. Your time is monopolized by church events, from Sunday service, to bible studies, and church gathering for pre-teens, teens, singles, and married adults. Eventually everyone you care for, and have a relationship with is a church member. Some members have gone as far as estranging themselves from their real family members.

The lifestyle members find themselves becomes addictive. Notes like these are a threat to upend your life, and put a fear in you that now you will be alone. Believe me this person will be better, but when you first break from "the church" whether it's your idea or the other way around (because of your sin), there is a lot of anxiety and fear that people go through.

I always feel for people who are about to make this change. I went through years of being convinced I was going to have an eternity of pain in hell. Still might have that in store for me, but that is the mindset they drill into your head. That without the church you cannot have a relationship with god, and you WILL be punished for eternity.

So it's basically like the church of scientology, only instead of worshiping a fictitious god called Xenus, it's Jesus ('H Christ on a crutch' if my dad was to be believed during one of his temper tantrums). The ignorance and gullibility of some humans will never cease to amaze me.

 

[rdrr]

So it's basically like the church of scientology, only instead of worshiping a fictitious god called Xenus, it's Jesus ('H Christ on a crutch' if my dad was to be believed during one of his temper tantrums). The ignorance and gullibility of some humans will never cease to amaze me.

In some cases gullibility is part of it... And if I am to be honest with myself I would say I was a bit gullible. I got along to get along.

In my case however, it was more looking for something different. I just had enrolled in my third college and trying to find where I "fit in". They prey on people's loneliness, believe me. Once they make you feel like you fit in like a second family, you overlook the "flaws".

Others are indoctrinated because they are born into the church, and I guess some are just down right gullible. I think the worse are the ones that join with the desire to become leaders of the church and to indoctrinate and control the lives of their congregation.

 

[Eric]

In some cases gullibility is part of it... And if I am to be honest with myself I would say I was a bit gullible. I got along to get along.

In my case however, it was more looking for something different. I just had enrolled in my third college and trying to find where I "fit in". They prey on people's loneliness, believe me. Once they make you feel like you fit in like a second family, you overlook the "flaws".

Others are indoctrinated because they are born into the church, and I guess some are just down right gullible. I think the worse are the ones that join with the desire to become leaders of the church and to indoctrinate and control the lives of their congregation.

I can see that and frankly I don't see anything wrong with people joining a religious institution for socializing and mixing with other people, I remember when people were attacking the church of scientology that they asked John Travolta about and he said something like "you know what, it gives people a place to gather and they seem happy doing it so why not leave them alone?" and IMO that was a totally fair statement.

I have also attended church in my day and though I see it more as lore with a touch of spirituality I've never necessarily believed but they were cool people and some were friends so I would go from time to time. They never hassled me about coming and were welcoming when I did, I will never bash people for that no matter who they worship.

 

[Chew Toy McCoy]

I feel like every lifestyle group that offers a close sense of community and belonging has a serious dark side that eventually outweighs the positive aspect or even the positive aspect dissipates altogether over time. This isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement of humanity.

I think this realization is a big reason people feel disconnected and lonely, skeptical of any group ultimately doing them more harm than good or a belief that if they are going to get anything out of it they are going to have to completely abandon who they really are. All or nothing.

 

[Herdfan]

This is actually a pretty big deal. As a former member of a Church of Christ, I can attest to how this letter is suppose to make you feel. They control every aspect of your life, from the people you live with, socialize with, and to whom you date. Your time is monopolized by church events, from Sunday service, to bible studies, and church gathering for pre-teens, teens, singles, and married adults. Eventually everyone you care for, and have a relationship with is a church member. Some members have gone as far as estranging themselves from their real family members.

I dated a girl in college who's family were members of a local "Freewill" Baptist Church. It is probably one of the most insular sects of Baptists there is.

And yes, she basically had two type of friends, members of the church and cousins, most of whom were members of the church. Her family could not do anything without consulting with other members of the church. Even something as simple as figuring out which week to go on vacation. She was very sweet and I really liked her, but no way was I signing up for that life.

 

[GermanSuplex]

The collection plate must be getting a little light…

I don’t know much about this church, but no doubt many of the same bible-thumpers who engage in this sort of regimented and military-like worship (brainwashing) are no doubt the same type of folks shouting the loudest that the “woke left” is trying to indoctrinate their children by teaching them things like there are different kinds of people in the real world, actual history, science and a range of literature.

Or at least that’s what I reckon they’re doing when they’re not out having an affair or stealing from the congregation.

 

[Yoused]

So it's basically like the church of scientology, only instead of worshiping a fictitious god called Xenus

Xenu is not an object of worship. He was apparently some sort of mortal overlord-type being who murdered a very large number of subject-type mortals by nicking them upon mountains in Hawaii (which are currently not thought, by non-scientologists, to have existed at the time in question). He has a very nasty dude.

Worse than the CofC, though, appears to be the JWs. They are not only an exclusivist cult, but they enforce a sort of monkish life on their people that prevents most of them from living decently. That cult is at least as evil as scientology – enough to make one think we should revisit what "freedom of religion" really ought to mean. (Like, the whole aspect of using a church as a financial tool/resource needs to end yesterday.)