A Couple Is Charged In A Deadly Fire Sparked By Their Gender Reveal

Chew Toy McCoy said:
Along with that there are a lot of cis people who also feel uncomfortable in their own skin because of society’s expectations. Very few people are completely comfortable with themselves as is.
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No one is stopping those cis people from doing something different with themselves to make themselves happier (or, at least, less miserable).
 
B S Magnet said:
No one is stopping those cis people from doing something different with themselves to make themselves happier (or, at least, less miserable).
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That’s a valid point, but only to a degree. A lot of just surviving in this country (or in the world for that matter) or trying to have a comfortable lifestyle has absolutely nothing to do with being happy or comfortable with yourself and in many cases following your dreams doesn’t provide you with stability. There are also many people who ticked all the success path boxes and while they may have good answers for common small talk questions with strangers at parties they are still miserable because they followed the path society told them to and only for that reason.
 
Chew Toy McCoy said:
That’s a valid point, but only to a degree. A lot of just surviving in this country (or in the world for that matter) or trying to have a comfortable lifestyle has absolutely nothing to do with being happy or comfortable with yourself and in many cases following your dreams doesn’t provide you with stability. There are also many people who ticked all the success path boxes and while they may have good answers for common small talk questions with strangers at parties they are still miserable because they followed the path society told them to and only for that reason.
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omg, you’re literally trying to build a false equivalence between structural experiences like being queer or being trans which one doesn’t “choose” (but in my case, I’m awfully glad to be trans*), with aggregate life choices that cis people make during their lives relating to superficial shit like career, family, and who even knows what tf else you’re trying to throw into the sink here. Wow.

Dang, you’re one of those cishet people who sincerely believes the state of being trans and/or being gay/lesbian/bi/queer are lifestyle choices. 🤣

* thank you, Tom Robinson
 
theSeb said:
That's great, but it's not 1375 anymore and ye olde English has fallen out of favour. English is already a mess of a language where the actual meaning of a phrase can be hard to interpret, as illustrated by @Chew Toy McCoy.
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The OED, probably the closest thing to a conservator and standard-bearer of the English language (à la the Académie française for standardized French), is a history of the English language. And the same OED editors have definitively spoken (in that very link I posted!) about the contemporary use of the singular they as perfectly, completely, and grammatically valid.

Take up your grievance with them.
 
It seems that English has been constructed to link personhood with having a gender. We have a neutral pronoun: it. But using it to describe a person is offensive. So, “they” used as a singular is the best we can do I guess…
 
B S Magnet said:
omg, you’re literally trying to build a false equivalence between structural experiences like being queer or being trans which one doesn’t “choose” (but in my case, I’m awfully glad to be trans*), with aggregate life choices that cis people make during their lives relating to superficial shit like career, family, and who even knows what tf else you’re trying to throw into the sink here. Wow.

Dang, you’re one of those cishet people who sincerely believes the state of being trans and/or being gay/lesbian/bi/queer are lifestyle choices. 🤣

* thank you, Tom Robinson
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I see. You are one of those "only I have real problems and struggles" people.
 
theSeb said:
What does this even mean? We (singular I) are quite happy. You come across like a miserable, angry and combative person ready to jump on any perceived slight, as if everyone had something to do with you went through in your upbringing in Texas. I don't know much about transexual people. One of the ladies that rents a spot for her horse at my stables has a transgender boyfriend. Her other housemate is also a transexual person and he sometimes comes along to the stables. They seem like nice, young people living their lives. Your posts on this forum always remind me of a certain story about windmills.
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I have to think this poster's combative style might have been the nudge that pushed Arn over the edge. We had been arguing among ourselves for years without much problem, then @B S Magnet shows up throwing bombs and the whole thing gets shut down. Coincidence, maybe. But maybe not.
 
P_X said:
I find your militance fun and often inspiring/enlightening, but if your goal is to increase others' empathy/sympathy towards certain viewpoints this isn't going to be a very efficient approach. (I suspect you know.)
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If standing up for my people and my life is an act of militancy, then bring it on. If I don’t stand up and shut down the hot nonsense when it shows up, then what even is my life, lived.

Put another way: I’m too old, too tired, seen too much, and too cranky to play another tiring round of cisgender-person-debating-a-trans-person-in-deep-seated-bad-faith-about-trans-stuff games.

With thanks to at least thirty-five years of dealing directly with cis people’s many strained manoeuvrings, machinations, and the dozen or so logical stretches (it’s always the same dozen, always) they attempt to rationalize their bullshit takes, shitty behaviour, and regulatory control over my people’s basic welfare as they uphold everyday cisnormativity, the cis folks on here who grab their dice and try that game with me won’t going to get the sugar coating or the hand-holding of the folks who came before.

I’m all out of both.

Mind you, I’m directing this at folks who want to challenge a trans person. I don’t see you doing that here.

P_X said:
One of the things I like to think about a lot is what does infrastructure tell about us. To give a non-related example, where I grew up, many buildings were built in the 19th century, before electric elevators became prevalent thus staircases are in prominent, usually central in building architecture and newer buildings follow these principles. You never have to guess where the stairs are. Now in the USA, staircases are so consistently hidden, the best indicator of how well you know a building is to know where the stairs are, better yet take them.

The same ideas apply to playgrounds. The way playgrounds were designed where I grew up was to have some central space where kids can safely play that don't really accommodate adults, and then put benches around that space so parents can take a seat and watch the kids from a distance. In the USA, at least where I live, playground structures have multiple 6-foot drops and are designed to accommodate parents who have to hover to make sure their kids are fine. In contrast, benches aren't positioned in a way so you can see your kids off of them. This is a reflection of a parenting style, or at least the expectation of.
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These are, as I put on my urbanist hat, really insightful observations, and I want to mull these over a bit, if you don’t mind. :)
 
SuperMatt said:
We have a neutral pronoun: it. But using it to describe a person is offensive. So, “they” used as a singular is the best we can do I guess…
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As always Futurama has the answer:

shklim or shkler.

Yivo.png
 
B S Magnet said:
If standing up for my people and my life is an act of militancy, then bring it on. If I don’t stand up and shut down the hot nonsense when it shows up, then what even is my life, lived.
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You can stand up for your people. And should.

But you have made it pretty clear you hate cis people and they have no idea your struggles or what it means to be a trans person and bash them anytime you can.

So why should any of us really give a shit about how YOU feel? Perhaps you need to try teaching people about trans life in a positive way.

I get abused here. But you know what, if I realize I was wrong or I have offended someone directly, I own it or apologize. You just throw more bombs.

I agree with @theSeb that you are probably a miserable person. And miserable to be around.
 
Herdfan said:
I have to think this poster's combative style might have been the nudge that pushed Arn over the edge. We had been arguing among ourselves for years without much problem, then @B S Magnet shows up throwing bombs and the whole thing gets shut down. Coincidence, maybe. But maybe not.
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Maybe the notion of debating the welfare of people without welcoming the participation of said people — nothing about us without us — is what got that whole septic tank to finally implode on itself after what appeared to have been after many years of fetid decay before I even knew what PRSI was.

There’s a big part of me who wishes I’d not been forwarded that cursed thread link, or that I didn’t listen to that tiny voice which said, “Don’t look, don’t look!” like that scene in the film, Silver Streak. I’d have preferred to be blissfully unaware there was even a septic tank on MR.

But heck, if my being brought into a thread (which had smug af cis dudes running roughshod over imaginary, theoretical trans people with ugly, completely uninformed takes about us) was the one thing which ended PRSI, then PRSI didn’t deserve to live another minute on all that borrowed time from… the 20th century. Eventually, you’re gonna have to pay it back.
 
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