Name Your Child

Thomas Veil

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In high school we had a bulletin board with all kinds of notices, including each day’s detention list. I remember once typing up and (very!) quickly posting a list that included every silly ass name I could think of: Jim Shortz, Bob Sledd, Mark Downs, Roger Wilko, Noah Vail, Ben Dover, Chuck Wagon…

Yes, that actually cracked us up at the time. 🤷🏻‍♂️
 

thekev

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In high school we had a bulletin board with all kinds of notices, including each day’s detention list. I remember once typing up and (very!) quickly posting a list that included every silly ass name I could think of: Jim Shortz, Bob Sledd, Mark Downs, Roger Wilko, Noah Vail, Ben Dover, Chuck Wagon…

Yes, that actually cracked us up at the time. 🤷🏻‍♂️

No entry for Richard Hertz?
 

Huntn

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My Dad worked with a guy named Bobby Balls.


He had a sister named Ophelia.


I am not making this up.
A sense of humor with the kid paying the price…although with the last name of Balls, you are kind of stuck. 👀
 
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SuperMatt

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In high school we had a bulletin board with all kinds of notices, including each day’s detention list. I remember once typing up and (very!) quickly posting a list that included every silly ass name I could think of: Jim Shortz, Bob Sledd, Mark Downs, Roger Wilko, Noah Vail, Ben Dover, Chuck Wagon…

Yes, that actually cracked us up at the time. 🤷🏻‍♂️
In college, I sat down with a friend of mine and we compiled a list of probably over 100 names like that. I think it‘s in a box of stuff somewhere…
 

Huntn

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In high school we had a bulletin board with all kinds of notices, including each day’s detention list. I remember once typing up and (very!) quickly posting a list that included every silly ass name I could think of: Jim Shortz, Bob Sledd, Mark Downs, Roger Wilko, Noah Vail, Ben Dover, Chuck Wagon…

Yes, that actually cracked us up at the time. 🤷🏻‍♂️
Although I realize there are names that have meanings in foreign languages, when naming a child I would not use an adjective that denotes a quality, unless that quality is discernible in a new born, maybe relegated to a nickname. It’s just better imo to stick with tradional or abstract names mostly, although I have nothing against exotic names and you are stuck with your last name. :)

My wife’s name is Raquel and she has always disliked it, partially because she feels it is exotic, and that some people have assumed she was named after a movie star. Her Mom is partial to R names, as practically every boy in her family is named Robert. :)

This article is worth some guffaws, and I admit Destiny is not nearly as bad as some of these.
Colon
Orgasm
Love Child
I’munique
Apple

 
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Thomas Veil

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Let's not forget Dweezil and Moon Unit.

Edit: With regard to Huntn's post above mine, I know of a family who named their daughter Nevaeh. And yes, I was puzzled until I figured it out, at which point I thought, "How stupid." I'm sure I'm not the only one. That poor kid.

Sssst? Could you imagine every time you had to give that name to make an appointment or apply for a loan or something? "Sssst...is that with four S's or five?"

Sadman? Talk about damaging a kid for life.

Abcde? Well, at least it could double as her password.

Edit 2: I noticed the name Cameron. No, there's nothing wrong with it. But it is amusing that the NFL at one point had Jordan Cameron and Cameron Jordan playing, albeit for different teams.
 
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thekev

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Although I realize there are names that have meanings in foreign languages, when naming a child I would not use an adjective that denotes a quality, unless that quality is discernible in a new born, maybe relegated to a nickname. It’s just better imo to stick with tradional or abstract names mostly, although I have nothing against exotic names and you are stuck with your last name. :)

My wife’s name is Raquel and she has always disliked it, partially because she feels it is exotic, and that some people have assumed she was named after a movie star. Her Mom is partial to R names, as practically every boy in her family is named Robert. :)

This article is worth some guffaws, and I admit Destiny is not nearly as bad as some of these.
Colon
...

I wonder how many people with that name grew up to be proctologists, compared to the general population.
 

Alli

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This article is worth some guffaws, and I admit Destiny is not nearly as bad as some of these.
Colon
Orgasm
Love Child
I’munique
Apple
Worst one I ever encountered was when we were doing a genetic study on a population with significant inbreeding. One of the members was named Rape. Pronounced Rah-pay, of course.
 

lizkat

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I gave up on names around my 3rd year of teaching when I had a girl in class named LaQuindelyn. I have been known to yell at the tv when the news guy is talking about an arrest and mispronounces the name of the criminal (another former student). No matter how strange the name, they’re just not strange to me anymore.

And then there’s my father’s old secretary, Mary. Her last name was Tree. Her middle name? Christmas. She had a brother, Doug. Yes…Douglas Fir Tree.

And here I once felt sorry for a guy whose parents named him Valentine. Yeah, Hart.
 

Huntn

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How about Brandy? There was a song about a sailer, I never questioned it then, but now I’m thinking about a name based on an alcoholic beverage? Beer, Whiskey, Vodka, Merlot, Hmm. :)
 

lizkat

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I'm just grateful my family apparently felt they'd worn out some of the Old Testament names before they got to my generation. I had great great uncles and aunts with names like Obadiah, Zipporah, etc. By time they got to my grandparents' generation those names were landing as middle names and by time they got to my generation, the fad in some circles was apparently naming kids after current or former British royalty. I must know at least a couple dozen Elizabeths who are roughly my age. But that name has a lot of nicknames too, so we all manage to keep straight which one is being referred to. There's even one down the road who calls herself "Betsey with an E" to distinguish from another one simply known as "Betsy down the road". Both their mothers are probably spinning in their respective graves if they had once preferred to call their little darlings by "Elizabeth"...
 
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