You have to tell the one about the federales.
In short, a group of especially stupid young men decided to go to Puerto Penasco and get hammered on tequila shots at bar that was at the edge of town past the dunes. Now, there was supposed to be a taxi service to come pick people up, but at one point my buddy got impatient and decided to ask a guy with a truck if he could get a ride.
I was busy talking to girls who were telling me about a huge party they were having at a condo on the beach, and I was determined to get an invite, the address, and an especially cute girl's name and phone number. Then, I realized that my buddy was trying to get into the front of a federal police truck.
Now, you have to remember that the federales drive trucks that include a big roll cage where often several police officers will stand in the truck, often with assault rifles. This was before the narcos were battling police in the streets, so these guys weren't wearing masks and body armor, but they were obviously cops.
And, I watch as my buddy gets into the empty passenger seat, while about four or five federal police officers are looming over the cab, and the driver's got the most "What the actual fuck" expression I ever seen.
I tell the girl I'll be right back. Right back. Don't go anywhere.
I amble over to the truck, and start sweating out every bit of tequila and beer I've had over the last four days. "Buenas noches, senior" I began, and explained in Spanish how I promised my asshole friend's poor put-upon mother we wouldn't lose him. The officer on the truck leaned down, and said that he'd be happy to keep him out of trouble for the night, and I explained that I'd be even happier to take him off their hands, and that I hoped he wouldn't barf in their truck or their jail.
At this point, the rest of our crew of miscreants came out of the bar, saw that I was chatting with the federal police with our friend in the front seat—increasingly melting in the midnight heat—and assumed we were all getting arrested until they heard the officers laugh.
The officers got out of the truck, and waived down the first taxi, and then stuffed my buddy into the back seat. Fortunately for me, the girl ran over and gave me the condo's address, so after we decanted our friend into his bed, I went to a brilliant party and didn't come back for two days.