General Appreciating the Physically Fit People

[DT]

What about "appreciating" the not particularly "physically fit"?

 

[User.168]

.

 

[DT]

People should be free to appreciate whatever they want

Absolutely. Completely independent of weight, height, age, race, gender, I was pointing out even the revised title sounds a little "oggly"

 

[Runs For Fun]

I'm happy to see healthy younger people who take care of themselves, but definitely uninterested even in small talk. My gym m.o. used to be is to get in, get the work done ASAP and get outta there. There's something brain numbing about watching people watching themselves in the mirror while pumping iron. Brotalk, especially when not very smart guys try to educate already fit but new-to-the-gym women is so ubiquitous and cringe-worthy. But the most torturous thing to me is resisting my urges to correct some bros about the bro-physiology nonsense they spew to each other. Thank god for headphones.

So much this. I'm there to workout. Don't bother me in the middle of my workout. It's kind of a off-putting when I see displays of such vanity when I come across people taking mirror selfies or posing in workout positions. I'm not generally a judgemental person, but it's pretty clear they're more interested in posting their pictures to all their Instagram followers than actually working out. Don't hog the equipment if you're just going to use it as a prop.

 

[DT]

FWIW, we're done with the gym, we love staying fit, but are more than happy to do it at home / not in a gym. I know some people say they need the specific focus and motivation, they only get from getting away from their home, office, etc., and going to a place specifically for one thing, but that's not us.

We disliked the driving (even as close as it was), parking, waiting, reserving, mingling, equipment, lockers.

It's also a mix of Covid making us rethink it, getting our home setup nicely done, and, being someone who has worked at home for ~20 years, I've gotten good with being able to completely switching modes, "OK, now I'm working out, it's the same building, but I'm dressed differently, in a different room, focused on something that's not work or family". However, I __totally__ understand not everyone feels like and/or has the space/resources to get all setup at home (or has some very specific equipment needs not easily replicated at home).

Plus, we get some good "workouts" with the SUP, swimming, bikes, heck even yard work.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Absolutely. Completely independent of weight, height, age, race, gender, I was pointing out even the revised title sounds a little "oggly"

Agreed.

Dear God.

My glasses. Or, perhaps my imperfect eyes.

I was so pleased to see that the words "the gym" had been removed, I failed to spot that they had been replaced by the term "physically fit".

Okay.

Ugh.

We are free to swear (with suitable restraint) on this forum.

I just want to say: Fuck. Pass the sick bucket, please, so that I can aim a parabola of puke towards it.

 

[Huntn]

Re updating the thread title - and I'm glad to see that you will do this - (might I rrecommend that you do likewise on the twinned thread on MR) - my suggestion that you do so was made from my lived experience as a woman, - because, as a woman, this would make me extremely uncomfortable were I to experience it in a gym - not a mod.

If you were to experience what exactly in a gym?

There are people who go there to work out and basically put themselves on display, basically look what all my hard work has done, I am the best, or at least I am in the top 10%. By it’s nature if you perform a feat that is impressive, say lift 200+ pounds, walk on your hands with a vertical body across the floor, fast paced jump rope, not only should you expect to be watched, you might be dissapointed if you were not watched. And from top levels of fitness, I believe this comes from both sexes.

I also believe watching someone workout has a variety of levels and is received in a variety of ways depending on the individual who is being watched from being admired, to being acknowledged, to creepy, to even having a stalker quality. A lot of that depends on demeanor of the watcher.

 

[Huntn]

FWIW, we're done with the gym, we love staying fit, but are more than happy to do it at home / not in a gym. I know some people say they need the specific focus and motivation, they only get from getting away from their home, office, etc., and going to a place specifically for one thing, but that's not us.

We disliked the driving (even as close as it was), parking, waiting, reserving, mingling, equipment, lockers.

It's also a mix of Covid making us rethink it, getting our home setup nicely done, and, being someone who has worked at home for ~20 years, I've gotten good with being able to completely switching modes, "OK, now I'm working out, it's the same building, but I'm dressed differently, in a different room, focused on something that's not work or family". However, I __totally__ understand not everyone feels like and/or has the space/resources to get all setup at home (or has some very specific equipment needs not easily replicated at home).

Plus, we get some good "workouts" with the SUP, swimming, bikes, heck even yard work.

I never did the gym when I could run. The gym/pool became a necessity when both running and walking was no longer an option. I had the discipline to get out the door and run, but did not have the discipline to work with weights at home and my pool is not big enough to comfortably do laps.

 

[Huntn]

Perhaps.

But, as a woman, I must say that I get very tired of the male wired brain insisting on letting me know that women are "appreciated".

And - to be quite candid - I have come to see men insisting that their appreciation be voiced - why not keep it to yourselves - I have already remarked upon the fact that the gym is a public space that is dedicated to keeping fit, and work-outs, which is what almost all of the women who attend a gym wish to be able to do without receiving unwanted, unasked, and unsought, "attention", "appreciation", "condemnation" or "correction", courtesy of the privilege society has traditionally awarded the male gaze, historically and culturally.

"Appreciated" is a very short step - in the lived experience of many women - from judged, condemned, and criticised.

Okay: Let's put it another way.

If women were twice your size, twice your mass, with twice your strength, would you - or any of the males who are so enamoured of the privilege bestowed by the possession of the male gaze - be quite so willing to announce how happy you are (all this hardwired biological stuff, so blithely invoked) to indulge quite so proudly - and publicly - in it?

I missed answering this before.

My appreciation of either sex is not voiced in public, a place like the gym and for women it is not sexist.
Yes, women have been judged, condemned, and criticized, but this is not a good argument against the word appreciate at face value.

If the argument that all of these words are directed linked to sexism, and because of it ”appreciate” should be banned too, I would say they have been linked, but they also are linked to other human qualities and as such can only be critiqued when you know the intent of the person using the word. And I am trying my best to reassure you that my use of the word is not based on sexism as I previously defined it.

“If women were twice your size, twice your mass, with twice your strength, would you - or any of the males who are so enamoured of the privilege bestowed by the possession of the male gaze - be quite so willing to announce how happy you are (all this hardwired biological stuff, so blithely invoked) to indulge quite so proudly - and publicly - in it?”

In what? …politely asked.

 

[User.45]

Perhaps.

But, as a woman, I must say that I get very tired of the male wired brain insisting on letting me know that women are "appreciated".

And - to be quite candid - I have come to see men insisting that their appreciation be voiced - why not keep it to yourselves - I have already remarked upon the fact that the gym is a public space that is dedicated to keeping fit, and work-outs, which is what almost all of the women who attend a gym wish to be able to do without receiving unwanted, unasked, and unsought, "attention", "appreciation", "condemnation" or "correction", courtesy of the privilege society has traditionally awarded the male gaze, historically and culturally.

"Appreciated" is a very short step - in the lived experience of many women - from judged, condemned, and criticised.

Okay: Let's put it another way.

If women were twice your size, twice your mass, with twice your strength, would you - or any of the males who are so enamoured of the privilege bestowed by the possession of the male gaze - be quite so willing to announce how happy you are (all this hardwired biological stuff, so blithely invoked) to indulge quite so proudly - and publicly - in it?

I'd approach this from a male perspective.

1. Women who are regularly "appreciated" already know it, so expressing it is pointless.
2. Those who seek appreciation this way (many do) won't receive mine because it would already reinforce a faulty value system according to which women should value themselves based on what others think of them without talking to them.
3. My principle is to try to imagine the person as a male. If I'd still give that compliment, then it's fine. If not, I shouldn't.
-----

Fortunately, I don’t regularly hear bro-talk at the gym, if I understand the term. I would say that watching yourself in the mirror working out in more cases than not is positive reinforcement. And under any circumstance if taken to the level of narrcacism is not good.

I do watch myself and watch others watch themselves when working out. Which also fills me with self-loathing. But I don't need to lift really, 50 pushups in the morning and having a 30 and a 20 pound kid around keep my deltoid, biceps, triceps, and pectorales in relative shape...LOL. My latissimus dorsi is neglected though.

I tend to follow Seinfeld's advice here. Treat clevage on display like the sun. Don't stare directly at it for extended periods of time. A quick glance, and a good general idea is all you need.

I divide "comfort" and "power" cleavages depending on context. If it's a "comfort cleavage" I ignore the sight because women deserve to be able to wear comfortable stuff without me being creepy about it. If it's a "power cleavage" then I ignore it because it's a game of "made you look". In any case, the only way to politely approach cleavages is the way you approach a person's age. We all know it's there (including women) but it's always rude to point it out.

What I do find entertaining though is when a woman acknowledges another's cleavage, which is quite common.

 

[Joe]

How about appreciating the physically fit same sex?

I'm a gay male. I go to Lifetime Fitness. I can't help but notice attractive guys working out, but it's not like I'm oogling or following them around the gym. I may notice someone and think to myself "damn, he's hot!" then I go about my business on the stair climber or whatever I am using that day. I think its natural to be attracted to people you see at the gym or even out in public. Now making it uncomfortable for that person is a different story if you're following them around or staring out of control.

 

[Chew Toy McCoy]

This topic reminds me of a comedian bit, don't remember which comedian, talking about young attractive women sharing or selling their health and fitness tips. "Here's their entire secret. Be 19."

 

[User.45]

This topic reminds me of a comedian bit, don't remember which comedian, talking about young attractive women sharing or selling their health and fitness tips. "Here's their entire secret. Be 19."

Youth is wasted on the young, right

 

[Huntn]

How about appreciating the physically fit same sex?

I'm a gay male. I go to Lifetime Fitness. I can't help but notice attractive guys working out, but it's not like I'm oogling or following them around the gym. I may notice someone and think to myself "damn, he's hot!" then I go about my business on the stair climber or whatever I am using that day. I think its natural to be attracted to people you see at the gym or even out in public. Now making it uncomfortable for that person is a different story if you're following them around or staring out of control.

Ok now you have given me reason to change the name of the thread a second time to be fair, while acknowledging that obviously this came from my hetro perspective.
Title updated again…

 

[User.45]

Ok now you have given me reason to change the name of the thread a second time to be fair, while acknowledging that obviously this came from my hero perspective.
Title updated again…

Love it, we'll chisel it to perfection one-by-one. I'll add I also appreciate mentally fit people

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Love it, we'll chisel it to perfection one-by-one. I'll add I also appreciate mentally fit people

As someone who once toiled, served, slaved as an editor, I cannot but warm to this post.

 

[Eric]

What about "appreciating" the not particularly "physically fit"?

This sure is a round about way to admit you are a Sir Mix-a-Lot fan.

 

[MEJHarrison]

I'd approach this from a male perspective.

1. Women who are regularly "appreciated" already know it, so expressing it is pointless.
2. Those who seek appreciation this way (many do) won't receive mine because it would already reinforce a faulty value system according to which women should value themselves based on what others think of them without talking to them.
3. My principle is to try to imagine the person as a male. If I'd still give that compliment, then it's fine. If not, I shouldn't.
-----

I agree with that 100%. It also helps to be introverted. I wouldn't want to get caught staring at someone, particularly staring in the wrong place. I can barely bring myself to read the name tags cashiers and waitresses wear.

But #2 is the one that breaks my brain. After years of being taught not to stare, someone told me if she didn't want guys looking, she wouldn't dress the way she does. I just couldn't process that one. There doesn't seem to be any way to tell group A from group B, so I just shut up and mind my own business and follow the same rules that have served me well so many years.

 

[DT]

How about appreciating the physically fit same sex?

We re-watched Vacation a week or so ago, the sequel / 2015 movie with Rusty Griswold played by Ed Helms, it's pretty fun/funny, especially if you're a fan of the earlier movies.

Anyway, Chris Hemsworth in that ... holy mother of god.

When he comes out in his skivvies, I always pull the Ralph Wiggum line from the movie, "I like men now!"

 

[Chew Toy McCoy]

Youth is wasted on the young, right

I think visually speaking being fit for a lot of people just comes down to being young and having good metabolism. Not a lot of hard work going on there and I feel pretty confident most people aren't scanning hard for muscle definition when they say somebody is fit. Of course, there are limits.

With that in mind, there probably isn't a better time in history to be a young male. Slim with some definition seems to be in now. The bulky muscular look is out.

But on another level, it's also a bad time to be a male as women (and possibly gay men) are finally done putting close to zero expectations on men's fitness for most of history. This isn't to say a higher level of fitness wasn't appreciated, but the majority of the male population could be out of shape and still be desirable. I think that is starting to change and now I think being out of shape is also being linked to other potential issues that go beyond just what they look like. But I'm also a straight middle aged male and there's a good chance I don't know WTF I'm talking about here.