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- Aug 15, 2020
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Many, many moons ago when our son was a teenager, he kept a snake in the house. This was without my permission as I’m afraid of and loathe the damn things.
But against my better wishes and to keep the peace, I left the matter alone, with his assurances that it could not get out of its tank.
Until it did.
It of course pushed the poorly secured lid up and slithered out.
I only found out about it days later when my wife told me. She’d kept its escape to herself for a while knowing I’d freak. And also do an I Told You So.
So long story short, our son had been looking for the snake, but not finding it, he did what teenagers do: he lost interest in it. The snake doesn’t turn up anywhere and gradually our nervousness goes away. Weeks turn into months. Pages fly off the calendar, until after six months we figure the thing died somewhere of starvation and we’ll find it someday when we clean out the closet in his room or something.
So one day our other son goes into the basement to do his weekly laundry, which goes down a clothes chute from upstairs. He picks up a pile of clothes from the basement floor and does an Olympic-level backwards long jump when he finds the snake under it.
I wasn’t there, thank god, to see any of this. Nor did we ever figure out how the snake got from his room on the second floor, down to the basement without anyone seeing it. But our older son picked up the snake and returned it to its (now more secure) tank.
Ugh. I’m with Indiana Jones on this one. I hate snakes.
I wasn't allowed to get a snake when I was a kid. So that's pretty much the first thing I did when I moved out, got a columbian boa and albino python.
I also once lived with somebody who had a 6 foot boa. One day when I went to the bathroom as soon as I open the door and walk in there it was, my head level, face in mine flicking its tongue, resting on the top of the shower glass door. It wasn't an escape. The roommate put it there while cleaning its tank and she didn't feel it was important to let me know that. Even though I like snakes, that's not a surprise position you want to be in, especially with a snake that size. Luckily it didn't strike at my face.