General What’s Your Ailment?

[User.45]

I am a dude. The uvula is that dangly thing that sits at the back of your throat.

Lol, OK now I'm confused. SHould have read back up?!

 

[Renzatic]

Lol, OK now I'm confused. SHould have read back up?!

I dunno. All I know is I came in here to gripe about my throat hurting, and suddenly it's turned into this weirdness.

Though I didn't help things with my previous post, but comeon. Like I could resist taking advantage of a situation like this.

 

[fooferdoggie]

the sad part is I had to work out my food issues myself. almost all my doctors were useless on help or any ideas. I literally had to save myself if I wanted to get healthy.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

I am a dude. The uvula is that dangly thing that sits at the back of your throat.

I have a theory that many men are not all that knowledgeable - in fact, are sometimes kind of clueless - about the finer points of the geography - and indeed, the basic biology - of the female body.

 

[Renzatic]

I have a theory that many men are not all that knowledgeable - in fact, are sometimes kind of clueless - about the finer points of the geography - and indeed, the basic biology - of the female body.

With enough practice, some of us do manage to muddle on through.

 

[Huntn]

My current ailment is a strong pain in my temple caused by an improperly titled thread ...

Enlighten me, happy to fix it if warranted .

 

[Huntn]

@Huntn be careful with the self diagnoses. There are all kinds of symptoms that regularly appear alongside various conditions.

Actually I’m not self diagnosing, I’m speculating and if the issue returns more than happy to bring it up with the doc.

 

[fooferdoggie]

I have a theory that many men are not all that knowledgeable - in fact, are sometimes kind of clueless - about the finer points of the geography - and indeed, the basic biology - of the female body.

my daughter has told me about her female friend's who were clueless about some of their body part locations

 

[DT]

Enlighten me, happy to fix it if warranted .

Somebody fixed it! (You >> Your)

 

[Alli]

I've got a swollen uvula for some reason. It makes me snore and snort like a pig.

My mother has no uvula. She lost it in an overly large pill accident. Or so she claims. She really has no idea when it departed.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Enlighten me, happy to fix it if warranted .

Somebody fixed it! (You >> Your)

I did.

That "you" that should have been a "your" had me grinding my teeth.

Not only am I a grammar Nazi at times, indeed, in an earlier life, I once passed a year as an editor in the parliamentary debates office, and, also, as it happens, I also have the honour to be a staff member on this site.

Which means that remedial editing acts are now possible.

Rather than asking @Huntn's permission to edit the error (which, yes, I probably should have done), I simply went ahead and changed it myself.

 

[Renzatic]

My mother has no uvula. She lost it in an overly large pill accident. Or so she claims. She really has no idea when it departed.

...how exactly does that happen? I'm trying to work out the logistics of that story in my head, and I'm coming up with more questions than answers.

But on the plus side, my uvula's back to normal.

 

[Alli]

...how exactly does that happen? I'm trying to work out the logistics of that story in my head, and I'm coming up with more questions than answers.

But on the plus side, my uvula's back to normal.

She’s pretty sure it ripped off painlessly when she swallowed a particularly large pill. If that’s not how it happened, nobody knows otherwise. All she knows is one day she went to her doctor and on routine exam he exclaimed “did you know you didn’t have a uvula?” She was more surprised than he was.

 

[Clix Pix]

More likely she was born without one in the first place and for some reason no one ever noticed that until the one doctor took a look...... Is the rest of her oral structure normal? Does she exhibit any signs of hypernasality in her speech? Does she have an unusually high palate?

 

[Alli]

More likely she was born without one in the first place and for some reason no one ever noticed that until the one doctor took a look...... Is the rest of her oral structure normal? Does she exhibit any signs of hypernasality in her speech? Does she have an unusually high palate?

Nope. She definitely had one. Everything else is normal.

 

[fooferdoggie]

my body is weird. the nI don't get enough sleep I tend to get a headache but the wind thing is now I get a queasy stomach too. I can't skip a meal so I have to eat my usual bacon and eggs for breakfast anyway. its a horrible food when you have a query stomach.

 

[DT]

I have a theory that many men are not all that knowledgeable - in fact, are sometimes kind of clueless - about the finer points of the geography - and indeed, the basic biology - of the female body.

I've spent many years alone in that wilderness, and I've adapted amazing survival skills ...

 

[thekev]

I've spent many years alone in that wilderness, and I've adapted amazing survival skills ...

How many of those were spent on the Island of Outdated Robots?

 

[Thomas Veil]

My recent chest X-ray came back with the result: “Shallow lung volumes with bibasilar atelectasis”. As I understand it, that $40 term means partially collapsed lungs. No wonder I run out of breath so easily. (And it has nothing to do with my being out of shape. )

My doctor says don’t worry about it, but I have visions of me someday dragging around an oxygen tank.

 

[lizkat]

General warning department: this is apparently making the rounds in certain circles, probably people in the late afternoon of their lives...


In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, greenand yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives...

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream, and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolatewith that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flourfrom the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

And Satan presented Thousand Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toaston the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the feast!!!

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oilin which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steakso big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good."

Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chipsand deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald'sand its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.☠

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.