Well, today (okay, yesterday, Wednesday) was bins, thinking about ordering sashimi fish from the fishmonger for delivery on Friday along with sushi rice (done) - and other things, and chatting with brothers, online.
Actually, - and this may well be considered to be rather belated, but, who cares, Covid, and grief....anyway....the time is right whenever the time is right for us.
A few weeks ago, - and, more recently, a fortnight ago, when Decent Brother visited, (and the fact that Mother's birthday, August 28, also loomed large in our memory) we had discussed the fact that we have yet to deal with (i.e. add) Mother's details to the family headstone, and that now sounds about right to start thinking about this.
So, over the past few days - especially yesterday (Wednesday), we were exchanging (very affectionate, respectful, thoughtful) email thoughts - the best possible version I have ever experienced of that awful "managerial speak" of "brain-storming" on wording choices; it was wonderful, enjoyable, uplifting, (thinking of adjectives, nouns, appearance of what we decide to write - to ensure it is compatible with what I had already had written about my father, recognition of her character, yet awareness of the need for accuracy, affection, acknowledgement of her character and precision, for, words count on headstones).
Earlier, years earlier, when arranging the details of my father's grave, my mother had asked me to do the needful, reserving final approval. But, now, we need to ensure that her character is reflected honestly and accurately, while remaining faithful (in appearance, and character) to what we (well, I) wrote about my father.
Thus, I wrote the "text" (for my father's grave) and, also, decided on the font (Garamond, a favourite of mine - the stonemason had never heard of it, but produced an elegant and beautiful piece of work).
Anyway, today's (well, yesterday's) emails were happy and helpful and strangely uplifting; it was a surprisingly - not just pleasant, but almost joyful - experience to confer, consult and chat (online) with my brothers on a form of words to use to describe my mother briefly, succinctly, accurately, faithfully, yet lovingly.
And I loved the fact that we were all so positive and supportive of what we each wrote, while yet refining and amending and offering tweaking suggestions, which, in turn, were further refined, by agreement.
Actually, it was a lovely experience - and I think my mother would have been not just chuffed, but quietly delighted - maybe even thrilled - (she always wanted her children to be friends as adults) at what we came up with. Collectively.
