Our phones are our primary communication (we don't have a landline) and information devices, you know, the usual: email, messages, calendar, reminders, notes (grocery lists!) - internet browsing for news, to look up numbers, locations - the latter also for maps/directions/nav. Also my main source of audio entertainment in the cars (music and podcasts) via Car Play.
And they've also become a huge value for us for capturing our life goings-on
So yes, we take a ton of photos (there's ~30,000 in just
my iCloud photo repo ...), and a decent number of videos. A phone is as much as I want to carry at a theme park, on a bike ride, over at the beach, in my car, etc.
The performance improvements haven't really been a thing since we don't game, or do much processor intensive type tasks, but some of those (especially the dedicated ML silicon) are directly tied into photo processing for things like low light, so I welcome them where they're a major impact on the camera.
I generally do every other year, unless the wife has upgraded, as long as we have one phone/camera that's pretty current.
Last year for Xmas I got the little G an IP11 (it was her first non-hand-me-down device with an actual phone number), the wife an IP11Pro. The 11Pro just does an amazing job with photographs, the low light is pretty magical, just better all around, the multi-lens system works fantastically well.
I wound up skipping my every-other upgrade since that was last year, and at that point, I figured I'd wait vs. just getting the same. So I'm still using an X (not an XS ...). It works very well, but clearly, three generations of camera improvements are significant.
So here I am, ready to buy a 12, specifically, a 12 Pro Max. I'm not specifically getting the larger phone for a larger phone, but more for the improvements in the camera systems, and the secondary perk of it having a larger battery. I did the same back at the 6/6S release, went with the Plus to get the OIS for the camera.
I've got to say, I have enjoyed the size of the X, the display/information density/portability ratio is very good, so I am just a __touch__ inclined to avoid the larger, but I know I'll regret having the slightly inferior camera tech/specs, even if I have to carry a backpack just for a phone