Sexuality Has Gotten Complicated

[User.191]

I do sometimes wonder how some people who aren't cis feel about everybody being lumped into the same group...and an ever-growing group. And is that group expansion being decided by those in the group or those outside it? "You're not cis, so we'll just add you to this master non-cis group."

Also if Q = Questioning, is that just another term for what used to be referred to as "those experimental years" except usually referring to the past while Q refers to the present? Also if that is the case, do they really need a designation and to be considered part of the community? From an outsider's perspective, it sometimes seems to be getting both diluted and convoluted.

As I mentioned earlier, there is a small, but vocal, part of the LGBQ community that want nothing to do with the T's.

The selfishness of that is mindblowing. The alphabet is essentially an umbrella term of those who, for one reason or another, do not fall into the 'conventional gender norms'.

In a perfect world there'd be no need for the Alphabet because it wouldn't make a scrap bit of difference as to who you loved or what your body looked like.

We're all just human beings at the end of the day and that's all that should matter.

Labels are killing us.

 

[Yoused]

I’m surprised little boys were dressed this way

Seems eminently practical, though, since the bible says nothing about trousers. He looks to be 6~8 years old, at the age where that thing you put on the child in November is strangling them in June. A dress preserves modesty as well as anything and also has a looser fit so it can at least in theory last a little longer. And maybe it makes it a little more difficult for a child to climb into dangerous places. Probably a little easier to make, too.

 

[User.191]

It does sometimes seem to be a bit convoluted, and that comes both from outside and within the community. There are those who insist on enforcement of an impossible-to-remember "alphabet soup" that includes things like "questioning" and "ally" which can include cisgender heterosexuals, which seems to defeat the purpose of having an "LGBT" community in the first place (in the most broad sense, LGBT includes anything that isn't cisgender heterosexual, the "norm/default"). Not to mention the pernicious actions of what I like to call the three P's: pedophiles, pederasts, and paraphiliacs, who insist that their attraction to children, teenagers, or feet makes them "LGBT" and deserve to be in the community (which is absurd as a pedophile, a pederast, or a fetishist can be straight). This is of course another way that those opposed to the LGBT community confirm their biases against it ("pedophiles are now accepted! see where the sexual revolution has led!"). As an LGBT person who thinks the existence of the community is valid, keeping out the three P's is paramount.

It can get messy, in other words.

That's a most excellent post there, @TBL. All we should care about is if two (or more) adults are in full consent then what the fuck should it matter.

Where it gets real messy is with kids: too many people feel that kids have no say in the matter of anything to do with their sexuality or gender. That's bullshit. Kids know a lot more about themselves than us adults give them credit for.

So I already have an exception to my absolute where I used the word "adults". So, what about the kids.

TBH - I think this is where we recognize first and foremost that kids who want to have sex, are going to have sex and there's fuck all we as adults are going to be able to do to stop them - best we can do is teach them safe sex rules and hope they listen. If that's with the opposite gender or the same gender is really irrelevant. But it does break the absolute.

And that's why this gets hard to explain.

Even harder still is with trans kids. Trying to convince your average knucklehead that kids 'know' their gender at a young age is an uphill battle. Me? I knew at age 3 or 4. I spent 30 miserable unhappy years fighting it until I gave in and have now never been happier.

Trying to get people to understand that kids DO know this and that it's not the adults leading them on, is hard.

And again, they're kids.

This all said, I'm not in favor of 'self identify and done' - at least now. It's way too soon for that. We still need medical people involved in the discussion and have both the kids and parents watched and cared for as they go through the journey.

 

[Renzatic]

...based on the slightly earlier German word zissexuell.

Geez. Wonder why that never caught on.

 

[User.191]

Geez. Wonder why that never caught on.

the Teutonic reputation for brutality is well-founded: their operas last three or four days; and they have no word for `fluffy’.

BlackAdder Goes Forth: Private Plane

 

[Yoused]

Was it Arnold Rimmer who answered that being dead is like being on holiday with a bunch of Germans?

 

[Renzatic]

BlackAdder Goes Forth: Private Plane

DEUTSCH IST DIE SPRACHE DER LIEBE!

And off topic, I really should watch Blackadder one of these days.

 

[User.191]

And off topic, I really should watch Blackadder one of these days.

You absolutely should. The original was fine, it's the second, third and fourth series that were wickedly good and chock full of quotables.

 

[thekev]

And Lions. Can't forget the lions...

I often feel like a caged lion. COVID kind of exacerbated that.

 

[Yoused]

You absolutely should. The original was fine, it's the second, third and fourth series that were wickedly good and chock full of quotables.

Back and Forth was okay-ish, but nothing compares to BlackAdder's Christmas Carol.

I was kind of taken aback to learn that there is an actual Pictish Clan Blackadder, tartan and everything,

 

[Chew Toy McCoy]

The alphabet is essentially an umbrella term of those who, for one reason or another, do not fall into the 'conventional gender norms'.

Personally I think the alphabet name needs to be nixed, certainly not added to, and a new umbrella term needs to be made for non cis people. Insisting on this alphabet format is more confusing than helpful. “You better use these letters, in this order, including new letters OR ELSE!!” Does that really help the community? And for those within the community who don’t feel that it is that important, I assure you from those outside the community who want to be sensitive and supportive insisting on using the alphabet term is a distraction. Did I get it right? Did I include all the letters? You know what, I’m just not going to even talk about the community at all, even in support, so I don’t have to worry about offending anybody by getting the term wrong.

Honestly, I’d like to know the community brain trust that thinks the alphabet term is brilliant and perfect.

 

[Deleted member 215]

Can I appoint myself head of the brain trust?

I officially declare:
LGBT
LGBTQ
LGBT+
to be acceptable.

No further effort needed.

 

[User.191]

Personally I think the alphabet name needs to be nixed, certainly not added to, and a new umbrella term needs to be made for non cis people. Insisting on this alphabet format is more confusing than helpful. “You better use these letters, in this order, including new letters OR ELSE!!” Does that really help the community? And for those within the community who don’t feel that it is that important, I assure you from those outside the community who want to be sensitive and supportive insisting on using the alphabet term is a distraction. Did I get it right? Did I include all the letters? You know what, I’m just not going to even talk about the community at all, even in support, so I don’t have to worry about offending anybody by getting the term wrong.

Honestly, I’d like to know the community brain trust that thinks the alphabet term is brilliant and perfect.

I don't and I find it confusing. I'm with @TBL on what's fine. Anything else just comes across as needy.

 

[Yoused]

I prefer LGBTS because there is a non-small number of straight people who are mentally and/or emotionally part of the community. I mean, if cultural acceptance/inclusion are desirable, why not be inclusive off the top?

 

[Deleted member 199]

Why?

You’re asking why a topic about something heterosexual male born men are quite commonly told they’ll “never understand what it’s like” is difficult to discuss and will likely result in a negative result?

 

[User.191]

You’re asking why a topic about something heterosexual male born men are quite commonly told they’ll “never understand what it’s like” is difficult to discuss and will likely result in a negative result?

If it comes out that way from people then it can also be due to some people exhausted with having to state the same thing ad-nauseum.

That said there are many of us who are more than happy to explain when one feels the audience is receptive.

 

[Deleted member 215]

How about trying to understand, then? And listening to what LGBT people actually have to say?

 

[Huntn]

W

Geez. Wonder why that never caught on.

Well that was German…

 

[Huntn]

You’re asking why a topic about something heterosexual male born men are quite commonly told they’ll “never understand what it’s like” is difficult to discuss and will likely result in a negative result?

It’s not a can of worms, it can be understood, it’s reality, but in many cases the target audience who would benefit to change their outlook is unreceptive to something beyond “traditional“ straight jacket and prejudicial views.

 

[Deleted member 199]

If it comes out that way from people then it can also be due to some people exhausted with having to state the same thing ad-nauseum.

I’m sure that’s some of it.

but there’s plenty of times when it’s not that, where it’s just any excuse - regardless of context or the actual topic being discussed - to “attack” the big bad straight white guy because some other straight white guys did something fucked up so we’re obviously all out to get anyone who isn’t a straight white guy.

How about trying to understand, then? And listening to what LGBT people actually have to say?

Try to understand what? If someone is just going to make it their mission to blame me for life’s problems straight off the bat because I’m a straight white male, that’s unrelated to me “understanding” anything besides the fact that some people will be shitty for the sake of being shitty.

To be honest I don’t really care what’s in your pants or whether it was there when you were born or who you touch with it or touches it, or which bathroom you use it in.

That’s not to say I don’t care what you have to say. It’s more that the vast majority of the time, I don’t think the aforementioned contents/activities/history of your (or anyone’s) crotch is relevant to the topic.

It’s not a can of worms, it can be understood,

Please re-read what I read and the meaning of “can of worms”.

I never said it can’t be understood. I implied with the picture and then directly mentioned in the follow up that it’s difficult to discuss.

That doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be discussed or can’t be. It’s just acknowledging that it’s a difficult topic for a lot of people for a lot of reasons.


I absolutely understand that a lot of shitty things have been done to this community and I sympathise. I’m genuinely glad that society is generally becoming more accepting.

I’m just not keen to be told everything bad that’s happened to a group of people is “my fault”.

The only reason I originally commented - maybe I’m the weird one - I don’t “get” the point of the original question. People are attracted to who they’re attracted to; what does it matter why? Same thing applies to the “gayness is genetic”. Who cares if it’s a choice? Just let people be themselves. I don’t remember seeing people analysing the reasons for people to be chubby chasers, and in 10 years I’ve never once been asked why I married an asian girl.

Anyway. I’m not trying to disrupt this, so carry on.