The official Florida man thread

[fooferdoggie]

@fooferdoggie moved your last three posts from the COVID thread to this one, seems like maybe that was your original intention.

crap I thought I was I the right place. but was trying to eat breakfast at the same time.

 

[Alli]

crap I thought I was I the right place. but was trying to eat breakfast at the same time.

Silly man. You know men can’t multitask worth shit.

 

[Huntn]

Silly man. You know men can’t multitask worth shit.

NOT TRUE!! I can multitask, watch me in the kitchen making dinner!

 

[fooferdoggie]

Silly man. You know men can’t multitask worth shit.

Hey I was cooking two meals getting al my wife's stuff so she could eat and making a slow cooked dish. but like there is much difference between covid stupid and Florida man.

 

[Thomas Veil]

crap I thought I was I the right place. but was trying to eat breakfast at the same time.

So how 'bout that NFL weekend, huh?

 

[Yoused]

So how 'bout that NFL weekend, huh?

I think I saw the ghost of big fat Floridaman, cigar in hand (who apparently did not expire from Covid but should have), floating over the Tampa Bay goalposts trying in vain to block that game-ending kick. We miss him so much.

not

 

[Yoused]

​

He started it, he escalated it and then he damaged his own car trying to make it much worse.

 

[fooferdoggie]

Man Jailed On Ramen Noodle Battery Charge​

Man Jailed On Ramen Noodle Battery Charge

3/30 UPDATE: Smith was sentenced Monday to a year’s probation and ordered to attend a batterers intervention program by a judge who found him guilty of misdemeanor battery. Smith, who spent 49 days i

thesmokinggun.com

 

[Huntn]

​

He started it, he escalated it and then he damaged his own car trying to make it much worse.

Lock that shit head up, God.

 

[fooferdoggie]

Lock that shit head up, God.

pray and spray I think my blind wife would have been a better shot.

 

[GermanSuplex]

Now that Trump is asking why officials aren’t investigating Pence for refusing to overturn the election results, will his cultists and congress lapdogs go along with it, thus admitting that - according to their leader and god Trump - VP Harris has the same power if she doesn’t like the 2024 results?

Trump has given his detractors - and hopefully the justice department, state AGs and the January 6 committee - a lot of gifts this past week.

 

[GermanSuplex]

Not sure where to put it because it’s not all that newsworthy, but Jerry Falwell Jr. did an interview with Vanity Fair where he attributed his relationship with Trump for his downfall, castigates organized religion and admits he himself is not religious.

Between this and Trump shitting on Lindsey Graham, just more proof it’s not a matter of if associating with Trump will come back to screw you, it’s only a matter of when.

 

[fooferdoggie]

Not sure where to put it because it’s not all that newsworthy, but Jerry Falwell Jr. did an interview with Vanity Fair where he attributed his relationship with Trump for his downfall, castigates organized religion and admits he himself is not religious.

Between this and Trump shitting on Lindsey Graham, just more proof it’s not a matter of if associating with Trump will come back to screw you, it’s only a matter of when.

its like leprocy hang around long enough and you get it good. tumpacy the fungus that keeps on spreading.

 

[fooferdoggie]

a lot of stupid this weekend but I only chose the craziest.
He broke into the home, drank their beer and ate their food. Then left a $200 tip before taking a bath and a nap. This is the kind of thing that can give home invasions a bad name
he sounded good till he tried to carjack a car.
The man, later identified as 34-year-old Teral Christesson, slept, drank beer, ate shrimp, and bathed inside the Santa Fe property last Sunday morning, police said, per The Santa Fe New Mexican.

When the homeowners returned to the property in the afternoon, the media outlet added, they found Christesson in their house with a duffel bag and an AR-15 scoped rifle.

The homeowners reportedly told police that the suspected burglar was "extremely embarrassed and apologetic" when confronted by them.

Before Christesson vacated the property, the Alberquerque Journal reported that he placed $200 on a living room chair as a "reimbursement for the window he broke."

He then picked up his gun and bag and left, the media outlet said.

The Santa Fe New Mexican reported that police found Christesson on Monday near a fast-food restaurant after responding to a report of a man attempting to hijack a car. In custody, he told investigators he "felt bad" about breaking the window, the media outlet said.

Intruder armed with an AR-15 rifle apologized and left $200 for homeowners after breaking in to eat shrimp and have a bath, police say

The armed intruder was "apologetic" when the homeowners confronted him after he ate shrimp, drank beer, and bathed in their Santa Fe home, reports say.

www.yahoo.com

 

[fooferdoggie]

Florida man steals car; train sends it crashing into house
PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man says he jumped from a stolen car seconds before it was hit by a train and sent flying into a nearby home. The sleeping residents were unharmed and the man was later arrested, authorities said.

Police said the man claimed he stole the car in a “good faith effort” to search for his own vehicle after leaving a bar early Saturday in Martin County, around 50 miles north of West Palm Beach. Instead, he got stuck on the railroad tracks in the path of an oncoming train.

After the crash, the man tried to steal a forklift from a nearby fruit stand, which he also vandalized, the Martin County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement. He was arrested after flagging down responding deputies “to let them know he was still looking for his car,” the statement said.

The homeowners were fine, but “the explosive sound of a driverless car smashing into the side of their home was clearly jolting,” the sheriff’s office said.

Florida man steals car; train sends it crashing into house

A Florida sheriff's office says a man stole a car but abandoned it seconds before it was struck by a train.

apnews.com

 

[SuperMatt]

Sonic the Hedgehog attempts to rob a bank in Florida

After attempting to rob the place and escaping on foot authorities searched the area for any sign of the suspect, but he was apparently too fast and they found nothing and no arrest has been made yet. DeLand police are continuing to investigate the incident and are asking for folks in the area to report anything they know about the suspect.

A Man Wearing A Sonic Mask Tried To Rob A Bank In Florida

The robber escaped the scene with no cash and luckily no one was injured

kotaku.com

 

[fooferdoggie]

got to love florida laws

Hollywood resident running car rental business out of home, outraging neighbors​

HOLLYWOOD, Fla. – Residents of one South Florida street are fuming after a neighbor opened a car rental business at his house.

They say constant car washing, customers coming and going and parking a fleet of vehicles has changed a quiet section of Lincoln Street in Hollywood to the point where some are ready to move.

Local 10 News has learned a new state law actually protects these home-based businesses, and cities have little say.

The rental business offers Teslas for $99 a day and a Corvette for $125. There are SUVs and other vehicles among the fleet, all available for rent.

“Well, there has been a lot of traffic in the area and on the street and I noticed they are washing cars, three or four at a time, on the roadway and at the home,” said resident Tim Flasher.

Neighbors say on any given day, they’ve seen up to eight cars parked in front of the small house, most of them taking up space on the roadway.

For $75 a day you can rent the Grand Cherokee Yosef Rabinovitz was cleaning when Local 10 News’ Jeff Weinsier confronted him about his home based business.

Hollywood resident running car rental business out of home, outraging neighbors

Neighbors say on any given day, they've seen up to eight cars parked in front of the small house, most of them taking up space on the roadway.

www.local10.com

 

[fooferdoggie]

Running around drunk, yelling at restaurant customers while claiming to be Mick Jagger is no way to get satisfaction, baby

Florida man drunkenly claiming to be Mick Jagger in downtown Naples arrested

A Florida man police say declared he was Mick Jagger while drunk in downtown Naples was arrested on Monday. According to the Naples Police Department, Eugene Bingham was disrupting in a number of downtown Naples restaurants including Ocean Prime and Yabba’s. At Ocean Prime, he yelled at a guest...

www.winknews.com

 

[fooferdoggie]

not sure who would want to be know as Florida Man but here we are.​

Florida Man's rejected vanity plates are exactly what you'd expect​

 

[DT]

not sure who would want to be know as Florida Man but here we are.​

Florida Man's rejected vanity plates are exactly what you'd expect​

View attachment 11652

Well yeah, that's way too many characters, I'm thinking:

FLDA MAN