The official Florida man thread

[fooferdoggie]

Florida crab
Crabs take over Florida beach. Well it IS spring break

Dozens of horseshoe crabs take over Florida beach

Dozens of horseshoe crabs took over a Florida beach just in time for spring break, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

www.wfla.com

 

[SuperMatt]

Florida crab
Crabs take over Florida beach. Well it IS spring break

Dozens of horseshoe crabs take over Florida beach

Dozens of horseshoe crabs took over a Florida beach just in time for spring break, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

www.wfla.com

Horseshoes are good luck!

 

[fooferdoggie]

this kid will not be Florida Man​

Cops: Boy, 9, Dimed Mother Out For Drunk Driving​

Cops: Boy, 9, Dimed Mother Out For Drunk Driving

MARCH 21--A drunk driving suspect who told Florida cops she had not consumed alcohol was contradicted by her own nine-year-old son, who declared from the car’s back seat, “Mom, you can’t lie to the

www.thesmokinggun.com

 

[fooferdoggie]

Guy in Florida broke into a large music store by climbing through a window near the roof, then fell 3 stories into a guitar display. He used an amp to break the front door and escape, but left blood everywhere which cops matched to his DNA

Clearwater man survives 3-story fall in Sam Ash Music store burglary

Police said the suspect broke into the building from a window near the roof and lost his balance while walking a ledge inside the building.

www.tampabay.com

 

[SuperMatt]

Guy in Florida broke into a large music store by climbing through a window near the roof, then fell 3 stories into a guitar display. He used an amp to break the front door and escape, but left blood everywhere which cops matched to his DNA

Clearwater man survives 3-story fall in Sam Ash Music store burglary

Police said the suspect broke into the building from a window near the roof and lost his balance while walking a ledge inside the building.

www.tampabay.com

His prison nickname will be “Lucky.”

 

[fooferdoggie]

dad Stay out of my box.
Dad opens daughter's Amazon package. Discovers sex toy inside. Jailarity ensues

Cops: Daughter Battered Dad In Sex Toy Dispute

APRIL 7--The delivery yesterday of an Amazon package containing a sex toy triggered a domestic confrontation that resulted in the arrest of an 18-year-old Floridian for allegedly battering her fathe

www.thesmokinggun.com

 

[fooferdoggie]

A cat fight with a real cat.

St. Pete woman accused of using cat to batter girlfriend​

St. Pete woman accused of using cat to batter girlfriend

A St. Petersburg woman landed behind bars after she allegedly scratched her girlfriend in the face with the couple’s cat.

www.wfla.com

 

[Yoused]

dad Stay out of my box.
Dad opens daughter's Amazon package. Discovers sex toy inside. Jailarity ensues

Cops: Daughter Battered Dad In Sex Toy Dispute

APRIL 7--The delivery yesterday of an Amazon package containing a sex toy triggered a domestic confrontation that resulted in the arrest of an 18-year-old Floridian for allegedly battering her fathe

www.thesmokinggun.com

Sorry, no, you do not open someone else's packages. This is all on him.

 

[fooferdoggie]

Sorry, no, you do not open someone else's packages. This is all on him.

for sure.

 

[fooferdoggie]

Florida babysitter put child in dryer, spun him around, deputies say​

Florida babysitter put child in dryer, spun him around, deputies say

The boy told investigators that Amber Chapman put him in a dryer, closed the door and he “went around and round," according to the arrest affidavit.

www.fox13news.com

 

[Edd]

Florida babysitter put child in dryer, spun him around, deputies say​

Florida babysitter put child in dryer, spun him around, deputies say

The boy told investigators that Amber Chapman put him in a dryer, closed the door and he “went around and round," according to the arrest affidavit.

www.fox13news.com

Pretty irresponsible. Dryers aren’t built for that.

 

[fooferdoggie]

lucky there were towels in there or he could have ben far worse including burns.

 

[fooferdoggie]

​

can't even imagine how mind numbing this would be.​

Florida Man Holds Pee Long Enough To Break World Record Watching ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’​

He previously broke the record for “most cinema productions attended of the same film” in 2019, after watching “Avengers: Endgame” 191 times. However, in 2021, Arnaud Kleinoverturned Alanis’ achievement by watching “Kaamelott: First Installment” 204 times, according to a news release from Guinness World Records.
The determined Florida man had to endure 720 hours (30 days) watching “No Way Home” between December 16, 2021 and March 15, 2022 to secure the crown.
To achieve this, Alanis sat through five back-to-back screenings each day during the first few weeks of his record attempt. The most impressive part was he completed the record while balancing family and work obligations.

Florida Man Holds Pee Long Enough To Break World Record Watching ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’

Ramiro Alanis estimates he spent around $3,400 on tickets to set the record.

www.huffpost.com

 

[fooferdoggie]

Woman dumped bucket of urine on neighbor because his chicken was pooping on her back patio at Florida mobile home park

Victim Doused With Urine Due To Pooping Chicken

MAY 10--Angered that a neighbor’s chicken had been “pooping on the back patio,” a Florida Woman allegedly retrieved “a bucket of pee from her bathroom” and proceeded to douse the bird’s owner with th

www.thesmokinggun.com

 

[SuperMatt]

Woman dumped bucket of urine on neighbor because his chicken was pooping on her back patio at Florida mobile home park

Victim Doused With Urine Due To Pooping Chicken

MAY 10--Angered that a neighbor’s chicken had been “pooping on the back patio,” a Florida Woman allegedly retrieved “a bucket of pee from her bathroom” and proceeded to douse the bird’s owner with th

www.thesmokinggun.com

She had a bucket of pee at the ready. Florida!

 

[fooferdoggie]

Whacking off? That's a whacking

Wife Beat Hubby Over Porn Pleasure Session

MAY 16--A Florida Woman is facing felony charges for allegedly beating her husband with a belt after she “caught him watching pornography on his cell phone and masturbating,” according to police. Ang

thesmokinggun.com

 

[fooferdoggie]

Pinellas beaches man created fake Trump pardon to try to escape charges, feds say​

Pinellas beaches man created fake Trump pardon to try to escape charges, feds say

One published report says his company tried to take over properties that had belonged to Jeffrey Epstein.

www.tampabay.com

 

[SuperMatt]

https://www.Twitter or X not allowed/i/web/status/1532578321262907395/

 

[Yoused]

https://www.Twitter or X not allowed/i/web/status/1532578321262907395/

This is the best-written article on that story, including "… only one package was damaged in the collision."

 

[Yoused]

Hey, what could be wrong with letting the lad walk the dog?

Police: Florida toddler in diaper walks pit bull alone; mom charged with neglect

iIt was not the first time the 18-month-old boy was found walking the family pet without supervision.

www.wedr.com

um
oh